Girls: why don't you date Asian guys?

[Anonymous]

In my environment, the university, I see tons of single Asian guys but no girl wants to date them. Asian guys here like non Asian girls. Yes, bring on the hate.

[Michael6084]

I think the stereotype of Asian men expected to date within their own race is a stereotype perpetuated most by people of non-Asian descent. If it was so true, why would it be okay for a Asian woman but not for an Asian male?

I think that stereotype about Asian men is not because of Asians themselves but because of American society underrepresenting Asians in general. When they talk about minorities, they usually only focus on Black people or Latinos. I think it's just funny that society considers Asians to be the model minority, but they don't give them the same respect in media in general.

It's contradictory that mainstream America praises Asians to be hard-working, smart and high achievers, but they don't want to give enough credit to give Asians any value in the media unless it's for something stereotypical such as portraying doctors or being in martial arts movies. In a nutshell it's like they're saying "You're almost equal to us, but not quite."

[doireallyneedone]

Very true. As an Asian guy I can confirm that the stereotype of Asian men expected to date within their race more than Asian women is absolute BS.

Main reason why is because Asian guys are generally shy, physically smaller and cultural differences. That's it. For Asian girls, the only barrier is usually the 'cultural difference', as being shy and physically smaller as a female is generally not a bad thing. Also helps that white guys got yellow fever too

[jahliko123]

Yeah. Girls buy into these stereo-type lies instead of facts. White men says it but also black men and hispanic mens enforces it too. In reality Asian men are pretty good and better in many ways.

[jahliko123]

This is a good answer. So I remember an article back in 2016 saying that most Asian men are unattractive, but then saying that in Asia, women prefer Asian men. This shows that it has nothing to do with Asian men dating within their own race but with how Asian men are underrepresented in the media overall. I've seen white men with many types of women, and more recently, there are black guys with other types of women, but not Asian men, and the question is why? especially since after Bruce Lee broke stereotypes, they still paint Asian men as bad in the media. This means that the problem isn't Asian men, but the USA as a whole trying to oppress Asian men. The ideal man in the USA is usually white and athletic, while in Asia he is Asian and athletic or cool.

[jahliko123]

@doireallyneedone Yeah. That is what white men and other men trying to promote, when it isn't true at all. There are a lot of Asian guys that wants a white women or latina or maybe even blacks. This idea that Asian men only date within their own race is just made up by people who 1- doesn't have Asian friends. 2- Trying to oppress Asian men. Maybe they should start asking Asian men about whether they would date someone or not. Asian men, like all men have a preference. Some might only date within their own race, like whites or blacks or latinos and some would be open to dating someone from a different race.

[jahliko123]

You are right. I wanted to add that "dating within your own race" was only true 20–30 years ago, when the majority of people dated their own race. In fact, white men preferred white women when, back in the day, white women were the sexiest women alive, but no one mentioned that white women used to love dating Filipino men and vice versa until the white man tried to force and tell white women to stop dating Filipino men, which was pretty common back in the day. Since then, this idea about Asian men in general has been negative. All this is what white men tell the world; even some black men believe these lies, when in reality white men wanted to degrade and oppress not only Filipino men but also other men. I also feel like Teen Wolf (1985) explains it well, where being a non-Whie man means you are a freak in nature, and that is how white men view others. All the ideas that Asian men are bad or evil started with Filipinos, the first AAPI community to come into the USA (unless you include Hawaiians and classify Native Americans as Asian descent), then Japanese, Chinese, Vietnamese, Koreans, and so on. All this isn't really talked about in the mainstream media or in your average US history class. In order to know all the dark racism, you need to really step out of that box and learn Asian American history. They don't go over all the dark racism that each Asian faced, other than the internment camps during WWII. There is a lot more darkness that never went mainstream.
Short Documentary: "Little Manila: Filipinos in California's Heartland - KVIE on Youtube

[MyUsernameRules]

A lot of girls in Western counties don't find them attractive. They prefer whites, blacks, and Hispanics. And of course, the penis size stereotype doesn't help which could be the biggest factor.

[jahliko123]

I don't think so. Penis don't matter as much to women as men thinks. It matters to men because. they always talk about it but to many women they don't care. A small percentage do and that is why they prefer white or black or hispanic men but the vast majority don't. Some girls also like small penis over big ones

[misupanda]

Why don't Asian guys date me is my question? >:O LOL.
Just kidding. But seriously.
It might just be the type of girls they like or that they're part of a self-fulfilling prophecy. I know a lot of girls who like Asian men, but they might not be their ideal type. They also think Asian men don't have interest in them. Culturally, many Asians are expected to date within their race by their families. The other thing, is self-fulfilling prophecy. They believe girls don't like them, so they act shy or unapproachable towards them. Girls see this, assume they don't like them, so they don't bother. Then it appears to the guy that they weren't interested. These are just some possible reasons though... I personally haven't noticed girls not liking Asian guys... I know a lot (including myself!) who are very attracted to them. ^^

[jahliko123]

Well for starters, i can say that they like women who are interested in being smart too. Most women in the west are not smart at all. Most Asians value education a lot and that is because education is the key to knowledge and success. Most women in the USA are not interested in that and the few who are interested are usually negative towards men. You have to ask yourself what can you bring to the table beside sex, since most Asian men can bring money, knowledge, romantic to the table. Also by romantic, I don't just mean sex, but everything that comes with dating like a nice restaurant with good food, romantic getaway, vacations and all that. Asians are true hustlers and so they don't do random shit like most other men, since they always take their business seriously. Not saying that they don't enjoy laughing or jokes, but those jokes needs to be intelligent.

[kaylaS91]

I'll agree with @NerdInDenial and say that for the most part, it's nothing against Asian guys personally, just a few stereotypes.
The most prevalent one of those that I can imagine would put off a lot of non-Asian girls is that Asian guys prefer to date within their own race. I actually thought that for the longest time, with no clue that it's not fully true.

I'm dating an Asian guy and I'm sure if you'd confidently approach a non-Asian girl you're interested in, she'd be more than happy to give you a chance!

[doireallyneedone]

That's an interesting comment. "lot of non-Asian girls is that Asian guys prefer to date within their own race".

There's also a lot of Asian girls that prefer to date in their own race too. And a lot of white guys that prefer white girls over Asian girls. This never seems to be an issue with that racial coupling, yet it is different the other way around.

I personally think it comes down to 3 things. Asian guys are shy, physically smaller/feminine and maybe cultural differences. That's it.

[kaylaS91]

... yeah never denied that it works both ways, only this question is asking about Asian guys and non-white girls specifically. There may be more of a problem with Asian guys with white girls than white guys going with Asian girls because like you said, a lot of Asian guys are more reserved with approaching women. I bet white guys approach Asian girls a lot more so it's a matter of luck.

[jahliko123]

I don't agree. Some Asian men don't actually find white, black, or Hispanic women to be beautiful, but the dating scene is stacked against them because Asian men are negatively portrayed by rumors of other guys and just American society in general. There are some who love white women but always feel rejected for whatever reason, which usually involves stereotyping. You know, there are white, black, and Hispanic people who also prefer to date within their own race too, right? You didn't talk about that, but only Asian men. Those Asian men who only date other Asian men would date them because of: 1. Culture. Where they understand their culture better than whites, blacks, and Hispanics, but also Asian cultures such as Chinese, Japanese, and Korean. 2. Asian women are more caring because they are taught to cook well, clean well, and do other housework, while women from other races don't offer anything on the table but then expect to spend all of their husband's money. 3. Asian women are devoted to their husbands. White, black, and Hispanic women are known to cheat more often than Asians. (I have heard stories all the time growing up of white, Latina, or black women cheating more often than Asian women.) 4. Asian women are easier going than other women because other women give you problems, issues, and the overall crazyness of a woman, while Asian women know how to not do all that. I've also noticed that Asian women handle their periods well, whereas other women transform into these gigantic monsters that make you wish they'd stop hosting Halloween every year.

[jahliko123]

@doireallyneedone Yes. A lot of Asian do not prefer to date within their own race. They just prefer an intelligent and loyal women who doesn't try to cause problems. The idea that "Asian men prefer to date within their own race" is just made up by non-asian men, mostly white, who doesn't have Asian friends. I think instead of assuming, they should ask them would they be open to dating a white girl, latina, or black? and if they don't want to date them then why? Or if there is a girl who is white, latina, or black that is interested in the Asian guy, but he isn't interested in them then ask why? That is an accurate answer than assuming or labeling which is what Americans loves to do.

[jahliko123]

@doireallyneedone You are right. I wanted to add that "dating within your own race" was only true 20–30 years ago, when the majority of people dated their own race. In fact, white men preferred white women when, back in the day, white women were the sexiest women alive, but no one mentioned that white women used to love dating Filipino men and vice versa until the white man tried to force and tell white women to stop dating Filipino men, which was pretty common back in the day. Since then, this idea about Asian men in general has been negative. All this is what white men tell the world; even some black men believe these lies, when in reality white men wanted to degrade and oppress not only Filipino men but also other men. I also feel like Teen Wolf (1985) explains it well, where being a non-Whie man means you are a freak in nature, and that is how white men view others. All the ideas that Asian men are bad or evil started with Filipinos, the first AAPI community to come into the USA (unless you include Hawaiians and classify Native Americans as Asian descent), then Japanese, Chinese, Vietnamese, Koreans, and so on. All this isn't really talked about in the mainstream media or in your average US history class. In order to know all the dark racism, you need to really step out of that box and learn Asian American history. They don't go over all the dark racism that each Asian faced, other than the internment camps during WWII. There is a lot more darkness that never went mainstream.
Short Documentary: "Little Manila: Filipinos in California's Heartland - KVIE

[Hannah591]

Because it's rare to come across one and for him to like me back. I speak to one Asian guy who only admitted he liked me when he was drunk and then that's why we got talking more. I thought he didn't like me because he never bothered with me. I'm speaking to another Asian guy and he seems to keep it very platonic, I think they're too polite for their own good and respect us so much that they're too scared to flirt! I would like to date an Asian guy.

[thealphamaleishere]

Are you white? Because if you are I find this hard to believe. Culturally the only race most Asian men will go after is there own and white women...

[Hannah591]

I am. Well I'm not seeing any evidence of that. Middle Eastern, Indian men do go after me, not Chinese, Japanese or Korean men. :(

[jahliko123]

I would agree with this, but you also need to understand that this white society pressures Asian men into being polite, not because they can be themselves. Asian men would love to do wild things and stuff, but they cannot because this white society wants obedient Asians, which is not a good thing because it oppresses them. If they were raised with strict parents, then yes, but not all of them have strict parents. You might need to have patience with them or something since they need to take it slow. This was how dating was a long time ago, when girls didn't usually have sex or do anything sexual on the first 1-3 dates or even the first few months. Asian men like to take things slow because if you can get along with a girl as a friend without sex, then you will love her more. Some people think a good relationship means good sex, but that is not always true. A good relationship is when you are able to hang out with each other and be happy, which is around 80–90% of the relationship. The other part is finances and sex, which is a small portion of a real relationship. I am not talking about a casual relationship but a real relationship where you enjoy each other's company. That is what Asian men tend to look for.

[wingattebaby16]

1 - they treat me like a second class citizen
2 - they think i'm their property
3 - they expect me to wait on them like their mom does
4 - when they sweat, they smell "sour", not musky/clean like other guys do
5 - most of them suffer from "little man syndrome"... yes, small skinny dicks
6 - tied to #5, they leave me unsatisfied, and only care about their satisfaction

[jahliko123]

That is definitely not all Asian men lol and every guy could do all that listed. For example, I know a white guy who smells after the gym and a black guy who smells after playing basketball.

[Curiosity2006]

Because they look like this:

Too ugly...

[Curiosity2006]

EDIT: Please tell me you speak sarcasm XD

[NerdInDenial]

The majority of women don't like Asian guys because of the stereotypes. However, if the Asian guy is more of the Western Alpha male, then he has a chance. A lot of Asian guys don't even approach non-Asian women.

[Asker]

good observations.

[Ihav2fart]

This is true.

[cavmanier]

What's a western alpha male?

[NerdInDenial]

A westernized Alpha male is a person who grew up in a Western country with an Alpha male personality.

[Pnishimu1]

41 y/o Asian male never married no kids, 1 million dollar net worth, two paid off homes, stocks, pension, and currently living on rental income. Double digit bed post notches in my younger days. Dating is a waste of time for me. Why should I have to do catch your attention? It is not I but You who have everything to prove. Women, unfortunately, see the courts as an easy way out marital strife. I will not take a 50% bet on keeping 30% of my net worth. LOL.

[jahliko123]

They don't approach non-asian women because of all these negative stereo-types. Some Asian men automatically assume the girl is not interested. Even if they were more like Western Alpha male then they wouldn't have much of a chance either. Asian men also tends to be loyal to their culture and to their family so they don't really follow the western trend.

[jahliko123]

@Pnishimu1 I agree with you 100% That is the reality. Why waste time? If you were a white man, then with your net worth you wouldn't need to attract attention. Women give you attention. Asian men need to try twice on average just to date a girl, so why waste time doing that when you can enjoy the finer things in life? Lastly, yes, women do use marital strife to get money. You will end up having to give some or half of your wealth based on the agreement.

[Minamay]

Man, I'd love to date an Asian guy... Their looks are my weakness. Unfortunately, nobody in sight or taken

[Juspham]

I prefer pretty asain or mexican girls cause most of the time they dont ask stuck up or play hard to get like a lot of white girls do. This is not always too though

[SakuraChii]

Are you the same guy who posted the other question? Look girls like guys in general and yes some have racial preferences but oh well, if it's a huge problem than just do online dating or go out more..

[heavenlyashell]

I would date an Asian guy :p think they're pretty kawai.. Wait? Is that a stereotype? >_>
Anyways, I would if I like his personality :)

[Minamay]

Exactly my point :D

[heavenlyashell]

Also, to all the girls saying that Asian guys don't ask them out.. Take controll for f sake. Ask them out? No big deal. I asked my boyfriend out because I knew he was shy af and it worked out!

[mutedaisy]

The dudes that I know are all old men, so no thank you XD

[Asker]

Do you like Asian guys? yes or no?

[mutedaisy]

Of course, why would I keep someone in my company that I don't like?

[Asker]

So, it means you would date an Asian guy?

[mutedaisy]

Yes silly, but all of the ones I know are pretty much like uncles. They're old, and always talking so much. Just curious, where is your college located?

[jahliko123]

It is true. There are older Asians who look young for their age. I know a girl who married an older Asian man who is 20 years older than she, but she is happy because he makes her happy. She thinks he is funny and cool to hang out with. I think that when it comes to older men, people are OK with older white men dating younger girls but not with others, which I find odd, like it is ok for white men to do things but not for others.

[Your_boss960]

I would date Asian guys.. I had a crush on this really cute kpop star once.

[kohricex]

Cool Asians get a lot of girls in my opinion. The typical skinny, nerd, awkward Asians have it hard because they're unattractive as hell.

[Ihav2fart]

People think I'm weird enough, I don't need you to make me looks more weird thank you very much.

[Ihav2fart]

make me *look*

[Asker]

Your public image is now public domain.

[Kshppatel]

Small penis club assemble!

[Outofthegrey]

I think it has to do with the small penis stereotype.

[Ihav2fart]

and I push that stereotype like there's no tomorrow!

[abundantlyrich]

They're always quiet. Never flinching. Wall on the fly type of people.

[abundantlyrich]

And they make barbecued pork out of their parents. au.news.yahoo.com/.../

[thealphamaleishere]

Oh god here go all the women claiming they love Asian guys but just can't find one Lol.

There are like thousands at every University in the USA lol

[unusual95]

Oneday if i find a Asian guy, i'd like to date him :)

[Kshppatel]

A lot of Asians don't go for non Asians because they don't have the confidence to. So they figure "eh I'll stick to Asian girls."

[dev765]

It's because Hollywood has portrayed Asian men as feminine. The Korean pop stars just makes things look worse.

[hypno-trip]

just move environments dude. there's girls out there who will like you

[idkwtftoputhere]

I WOULD IF AN Asian GUY EVER LIKED ME BACK :(

[KiaTate]

Because Asian guys don't go for me.

[Anonymous]

They don't approach people, most of them are shy.