Boyfriend said his ex was prettier?

[Anonymous]

Long story short, I asked, he answered, so now I got myself hurt over this....

its in my mind now and can't get it out....it hard to have sex with him cause he answered " yes she was prettier than I".....
and plus she really is super hot..fit body, long hair. And perfect face as I'm the total opposite....

she cheated on him so now he is with me.....

I really wish I hadn't ask cause I feel crushed.

Updates

+1 y

What bothers me is that she cheated and he said she was prettier... i feel so unattractive...

[Paris13]

You have every right to feel Insecure now and it's a wonder you can go through the motions of Laying in the same bed with a guy who just told you------She was prettier
In my estimation, Honest John should have handled this a bit more diplomatically. He could have told you "Yes, she is good looking but... no one can compare to you, babe."
I don't imagine you will be getting over this anytime soon now that the seed has been planted. Once it starts with "A" for being an "Ahole," it may end up to be "Z" in the end For----Zebra whose stripes don't change.
It's not even the fact that 'She cheated,' it's the bare fact that He 'Cheated' you by having the nerve to say this. It makes her look like a rose and you like a dandelion and if I were you, I would reconsider what kind of guy I am with.
He may care about you unconditionally but to You to feel this way, it sounds like he has never really made you feel Beautiful or This would Not have bothered you like this.
Good luck. xx

[Paris13]

Thank you, sweetie, for allowing me to shed some light on this sore subject... handle with care and don't you dare deter from anything that doesn't feel right.:)) xx

[XRabbitHeartX]

I'll be honest if a guy told me that I'd leave him in a heartbeat. He should think you're beautiful because he loves you and is with you. That should make you more prettier than her regardless of whatever. I feel like he didn't answer it in such a way to make you feel beautiful about yourself which is very alarming and strange. If a guy isn't make you feel special then why are you with him?

[David1108]

Well women do it often too... and we are told to get over it.

[RationalLioness]

Was it a bad break up? Because he could have said that just to piss you off. I would have said, "Oh. My ex was bigger than you".

If not, he simply told you the truth and I applaud him for being honest while I understand why you're crushed.

[Asker]

That bothers me is that she cheated and he said she is prettier... sorry I sound like a kid.

[RationalLioness]

No. I'm sure it would bother a lot of people. But he was still with you so he thinks you're attractive somewhat.

The thing is there will always be someone who is prettier than you. It sucks to hear and believe, but it's the truth. And it's okay. :)

[madhatters4]

"What bothers me is that she cheated and he said she was prettier... i feel so unattractive..."

this really shouldn't have any bearing on your feelings. the fact that she cheated doesn't change her physical appearance. my takeaways
1) don't ask questions if you can't handle the potential truth
2) your bf is a tactless dork. you never tell your gf that an ex is more attractive, better in bed, or anything else. you avoid the problem or you lie

going forward I think you just need to try and get over it. he's with you, not her so obviously he finds you attractive and clearly he likes you more than her otherwise he wouldn't be with you. physical appearance isn't everything and just because he thinks she's hotter doesn't mean that he doesn't find you attractive as well

[AlwaysBelieving]

You asked, he answered. What'd want him to do, lie or go around the question?

There's a reason things happen in life. Long story short, you're with him, and he's with you. Someone will always be smarter, funnier, prettier, etc. that's just a fact of life. Learn to live with it and don't ask questions you're not prepared for the answer of.

[evenlift]

You just have to get over it. You asked a question, and you got an honest answer.

By the way, the fact that she cheated has no bearing on her looks!

You should be glad that your boyfriend isn't looks-obsessed. Girls often claim that they wish guys cared less about looks.

[Anonymous]

Should he have said that? No

Should you have asked? No, you already knew if she was or not. You either asked him to lie or hurt you

Don't ask a question when you're not ready for the honest answer.
Sorry if it sounds harsh but at least he's honest with you.

At the end of the day, he's with you and you're perfect for him while his ex-cheated on him so I think you're still better off.

[Asker]

I knew the answer but couldn't help but ask... but at the same time I feel like he settled cause he got cheated on... and another that I feel he doesn't see me as beautiful as his ex...

[Opinion Owner]

He's not settling for the worst but for the better.
Physically he gave you an honest answer... but put everything about you girls together and you'll come out on top. Once someone cheats they lose their appeal.

[Asker]

He doesn't seem to have lost appeal for her saying she is prettier although she cheated on him...

I might sound like a baby but I feel he liked her more than me... urgh the stupid jealousy coming through...

[Opinion Owner]

I said physically she is prettier but personality and everything else that actually matter, he won't feel the same after she cheated.

[njames]

SO? what if she was prettier?
Its silly if you can't have sex with him because the ex was hot!!
If he chose you to be his gf for a reason other than sex, don't give a damn about what the ex was like. Just be happy that you have him.

And accept it, every girl thinks she is less prettier than many. Its in our hormones lol that we think too much. Others see differently. Really!

[CHARismatic110]

That's why you shouldn't ask. Smh nothing good ever comes from it.

[IsabelleBk]

Next time he asks you if he's bigger than your ex, you say: Nah. He was bigger. lawl

[Bandit74]

Well he's still attracted to you otherwise he wouldn't be with you also maybe he finds your personality more attractive.

There's always going to be people who are better looking than you.

[Asker]

I wish it were simple for me so I wouldn't be having a hard time.

[Bandit74]

Nah I understand, once you get something in your mind it's hard to get it out. Now it's consuming you.

[Asker]

His words hurt like hell... can't have sex with him either... how can I stop from I consuming me?

[Bandit74]

if I knew I wouldn't be such a mess :/

My best advice would be to try to change your outlook on the situation.

Just because he said his ex was pretty doesn't mean you are not pretty. He probably thinks you are very attractive otherwise he wouldn't be with you right now. Maybe he saw her as a 9 but you're a 7 or an 8. (that's still really attractive) Also it's about more than just looks, it's about the whole package. There's no way you'll be better than his ex in every single category. There's some areas where she's better than you and there's some areas where you're better than her (like loyalty and respect) However when you weigh the pros and cons to get the overall score you are better than his ex. That's why he's with you now.

[Anonymous]

Well that was pretty inconsiderate of him. I would never want my boyfriend to compare me to anyone, especially an ex of his.

[Anonymous]

That was very wrong of him, and you have every right to be mad!
But honestly if you can't handle the answer, then don't ask. I personally would find it hard to stay with him after such a kick in the stomach, and I'd even consider leaving.

[grahamcracka]

You have to admit, when someones better looking, it's just a fact. if she took care of herself, that's attractive by itself. work for yours girl.
I'm not as hot as johnny depp but I'll out lift him any day. use what you got

[Asker]

I havve personality but feel shitty about the way I look...

[grahamcracka]

Then do something about it. if you don't like how you are, you can get better

[Asker]

I don't know how much more I can do... i lost 40 lbs and became skinny, got rid of acne... i have self esteem issues actually which lead me asking him who is prettier... i regret asking...

[grahamcracka]

You're honest and reliable, something she wasn't. I bet you're fun and his best friend and there for him. take pride in that. you're everything she couldn't be. keep it up

[Sara413]

He shoulda lied to you and said no.. but why did you ask in the first place? Like, what a stupid thing to ask!

[Sara413]

I went through my boyfriend's bf pictures shortly after we started dating and saw a couple pictures of one of his ex's from way back and holy fuuuuuck she was SUPER hot. But I tried to not let it get to me. Kinda helped that he mentioned before that that particular ex was super high maintenance and expected to be the only priority in his life, even over his own family, and that she demanded a lot of expensive presents and stuff, but brought nothing to the table herself (no education/career, just wanted to get married and coast off him). As soon as I learned a little about who she was as a person I was over the fact that she was incredibly hot.

Good looks can only get you so far with good people - if your boyfriend is anything like mine, there are A LOT of things he values in a woman beyond looks. Looks fade, but being a good, reliable, kind person doesn't.

[Sara413]

That was supposed to say FB pictures.

[kataloso]

That's just one factor. Focus on your best traits... for example, ask him who is better at jump roping and I bet he'll say you.

[Anonymous]

Don't ask a guy something unless you want an answer. Some will tell you like it is others will avoid the question.

[Asker]

Yes I know...

[Opinion Owner]

What's your question?

[Asker]

Is how to get over his answer... i feel very crushed but couldn't help to as cause I feel he settled cause he got cheated on and that he may lik my personality but don't see me as pretty as his ex gf...

[Opinion Owner]

If he didn't like you he wouldn't be with you. Don't look at it as looks.

[Asker]

I wish it were that simple for me to understand that... thanks for your options.

[goddessoflov]

Get some confidence, girls are pretty yet I never feel threatened