If a guy gets a hotel room does he see the girl as a booty call?

[Anonymous]

I've been seeing this guy for a couple months now. We haven't made it official but he acts like my boyfriend already. We met on Tinder (yeah I know-stupid) and he turned out to be the best guy I've dated. He's met my family, friends and I've met almost all of his friends too. We've gone out to dinner, movies, he taught me how to shoot his gun, skiing, etc. So we've seen each other quite a bit, I just don't know where I stand with him. He is pretty shy and isn't affectionate until later on in the dates (whether he drinks or not).

He's in the army and next week he leaves for four months to train new guys in another state. Then he goes to another training for two weeks somewhere else and then he might be deployed in March. I'm not sure what will happen with us but I definitely want to wait for him and keep in contact.

This weekend before he leaves he wanted to see me. So he got a hotel room in his city (an hour from me). He told me he got a room and we can go swimming, out to eat then out downtown at the bars. He said he wants to have fun before he leaves. He almost seems sad he is leaving too, every time I say something about it or say that we won't get to see each other he doesn't say anything.

Since I don't know where I stand with him, I don't know what to think about the hotel. I've slept with him multiple times and I've never felt like a booty call but because he's leaving I don't know if that makes it different

So I'm wondering if he only see's me as a booty call/sex toy that he will never speak to again after he leaves? Or is he trying to be romantic and this is his goodbye?

[Paris13]

Being you have already slept with him, sweetie, it doesn't appear to have hindered your special relationship in anyway. It sounds with everything I am reading, it doesn't have to be etched in stone that you are More than this 'Booty/sex toy.'
However, open lines of convo is one of the most important factors in any new or old relationship. He may Not be opening his mouth at this time because he doesn't want to make promises in this LDR tha the might not be able to keep.
With That being said, it doesn't mean he is using you but in telling you, he doesn't want you both to be... sad, which is already too late.
no matter what anyone tells you, you probably will make up your mind to meet him anyway. It's a way to talk and hopefully get some answers and also never forget... nothing in life is a guarantee but death and taxes. It's a chance for romance that if you are willing to take, it might pan out, you both already have the ball in the court. Now is the time to see if it can continued to be dribbled or left to the side.
Good luck. xx

[Asker]

So he's trying not to be attached so he won't be sad? I am meeting him anyways because I do want to see him and I do want to talk to him about it, I'm just not sure how. He's shy and I am too so communication between us is hard haha.

[Paris13]

I think he cares enough about you to Not want to make promises but with the way things are going, I don't think he wants to just kick you aside and call it quits... keep things going as best as you can being it will be LDR... you both need to talk, no matter how it goes down. You have a last chance before he leaves so take the lead if you need to. xxoo

[Anonymous]

I met my boyfriend on tinder so don't let people make you think it's not possible.

That's a hard one he might not want to get attached before he leaves you should just ask if he wants you to wait while he is gone he should understand why you ask but honestly if you guys are not boyfriend and girlfriend before he leaves do not except him to not date and sleep with anyone else. Make sure you ask before he leaves. also a hotel doesn't mean a booty call could just be more convient. Don't think booty call just because of that! (:

[Asker]

Haha thank you! When I was first meeting him, everyone made fun of me and was saying "he's going to use you!". Then every time I saw him, they would ask and I would just smile and say "we are still seeing each other".

But I understand. I'll admit I have looked on Tinder to see when he was on last and at first he was on every day. Then once he met my family and friends, he stopped going on and I think he might've deleted it from his new phone.

But I think when I see him, I'll just ask him and see if I can stay in touch, make phone calls or write letters or something, I don't know how the whole army thing works. But thanks! I've stayed with him before and never felt like one but because he's leaving I was worried he only wants sex before he leaves haha.

[Opinion Owner]

No I have had 3 tinder relationships over 6 months.
We are all guilty of the checking last login thing lol I went on one time saw my boyfriend who wasn't yet had been on he said no I deleted it then I went back in said he hadn't been on in a month so I realized he was serious. Just have to risk it and trust.

I also understand the service life my ex was marines. It's rough but possible. You just need to see where his head is at he is probably thinking about it a lot also!

[Asker]

Wow! That is awesome! And I'm glad I'm not the only one, and that's great that he deleted it too! At first I was upset when he kept going on but figured we're not dating then one day I checked and it said two weeks ago he was on, now it's been over a month since then.

That must've been hard too! I guess as long as both sides are willing to do long distance relationships then it's ok but the problem is figuring out if they actually do want to! I definitely don't mind waiting, I really like him a lot. Whether he wants to or not is different haha

[Opinion Owner]

Girl just straight ask him. Don't play games or try to figure out a sneaky way to ask just do it he will respect you for being straightforward with him.

[Asker]

That is true, I'll never know unless I ask so might as well. If he's going to stop talking to me, he'll do it regardless of whether I ask him or not. Thanks!

[Opinion Owner]

Exactly!! And at least you will know so you can wait or move on (: good luck

[LonelyLillie13]

no to me that doesn't sound like a booty call at all, even if it were to be the first time having sex he seems like he cares about you and has hung out with you a lot. Booty call would be no dates and no meeting family just sex.

[JustinCaseUDontKnow]

Yes it looks like he sees you as a booty call

[miserybusiness]

... This is why I can't date guys in the army. The whole leaving thing. LDRs. Yikes.

Honestly it could go either way. Usually hotels are for booty calls, yeah, but this is a rare scenario so you should talk to him about it.

[Asker]

I never have before and I was always skeptical about dating army guys but then I met him and decided to try. He's actually a great guy and all of his friends warned me saying "he's a great guy you know" almost saying to me don't break his heart haha.

But yeah I'm not sure if he only wants sex before he leaves so he's not attached or if he actually wants it to be a night to say goodbye. He wants to go to a expensive steakhouse that night too which makes me think it's not but I'm still not sure. I'm hesitant to bring up the "where do we stand?" talk but I think I want to at the same time.

[miserybusiness]

That's great for you. I'm glad you found someone so precious. I think you should bring up the topic. Lightly, of course. Keep it casual and don't make it overly dramatic or anything. Better to get the answer in person than to stay in the dark for 4 months, you know.

[Asker]

Thanks! And yeah I wouldn't make it dramatic then it would scare him away. And that's true, I guess it's better to have the answer now than to wait or be ignored for four months without knowing why

[emerald77]

I think he does see you as a booty call.