Who is the oldest person you know in PERSON who has never had a girlfriend/boyfriend?

Question

My brother is 35 and he's never had a girlfriend, date or even sex/kiss with a girl. He's very lonely and complains about it. I feel bad for him too. It's not his fault, because he asks girls out, they just reject him every time. He attempted suicide at age 23 and barely survived. I just feel bad for him, since he's so lonely.

He's the oldest person I know who has never dated.

13-17

18-24

25-29

30-35

36-44

45 and older

Select age and gender to cast your vote:

GirlGuy

Answer 1

Bluemax | 1.2K opinions shared on Dating topic.

Guru

My aunt died at the age of 89 having never dated, kissed, or had sex with a man. She lamented her loneliness sometimes, but was at peace with it. My brother's friend had osteogenesis imperfecta, which rendered her disfigured. She died in her late 50s a dateless, kissless, virgin. She was very sad. She once said she'd rather have someone to love than the ability to walk.

My friend since high school is just a little younger than I. He too is a dateless, kissless virgin. He has FAS. He had a crush on my wife, who was very kind to him. At times he is very depressed.

Many of my brother's friends died virgins (many of them died in their 30s and 40s). They had various disabilities. Some were at peace with their situations, others were profoundly sad.

This is why it irritates me when I hear people advise "Just get over it" to people in such a situation. If it were that easy, we all would "just get over it," but it's not so simple. Furthermore, it's one thing to go through a dry spell, but as my friend has told me, it gets worse with time, not better. Therefore it's understandable that as one year becomes five years, as five years becomes a decade, as a decade becomes several decades, these people often become progressively depressed, and yet I've seen on the internet many people simply chant the "no one is entitled to sex" mantra as if that's any solution (and everyone my brother and I know personally already knew they weren't entitled to sex). Not only is this in no way a solution, it's actually kind of insulting to them since they already knew that.

And yet I believe in most circumstances, people who have difficulty finding affection can change that (and telling them "no one is entitled to sex" or "well, get with someone you don't find attractive" are not solutions in any way).

Tell me about your brother, asker. Why do you feel he is a 30 something year old virgin? Why did he attempt suicide at the age of 23? Is he diagnosed with clinical depression?

Bluemax

+1 y
Thank you for MHO, but it might be a bit premature. ;)
detlef

+1 y
Goddamn that's the best thing I've ever read on GAG. The line about "the ability to walk" is one for the ages.

Holy shit, @Bluemax.
moviedude714

+1 y
I always find it more shocking to hear of a female FA (forever alone) than a male FA, because guys have to be the initiators still to this day
Show All Show Less
Bluemax

+1 y
@detlef
Thanks. She died about a year and a half ago. Her story was very sad. Some people would take solace that perhaps she reached paradise in the afterlife, but I don't believe in an afterlife. Even if she did reach paradise, I believe her first words to her Maker might be something like, "Why did I suffer so much to get here?"
Bluemax

+1 y
@moviedude714
The fact that women are generally not the initiators doesn't preclude them from being alone. Many women are simply passed up.

Answer 2

Bluemax

Thank you for MHO, but it might be a bit premature. ;)

Answer 3

detlef

Goddamn that's the best thing I've ever read on GAG. The line about "the ability to walk" is one for the ages.

Holy shit, @Bluemax.

Answer 4

moviedude714

I always find it more shocking to hear of a female FA (forever alone) than a male FA, because guys have to be the initiators still to this day

Answer 5

Bluemax

@detlef
Thanks. She died about a year and a half ago. Her story was very sad. Some people would take solace that perhaps she reached paradise in the afterlife, but I don't believe in an afterlife. Even if she did reach paradise, I believe her first words to her Maker might be something like, "Why did I suffer so much to get here?"

Answer 6

Bluemax

@moviedude714
The fact that women are generally not the initiators doesn't preclude them from being alone. Many women are simply passed up.

Answer 7

DodgersGM

Master

My aunt is about 57 and, to my knowledge, she's never been in a relationship or experienced intimacy. I'm not sure if it's something she even wants, though.

Answer 8

Hopefuldreamer8 | 505 opinions shared on Dating topic.

Yoda

My dads brother (I don't consider him an uncle, I have nothing to do with the people on my dads side of the family anymore) is in his forties and he is still a virgin. He has never had a girlfriend or moved out of his parents place.

I'm the second oldest though. No one else I know is one still. Not that I know of anyway. I am 29 and never had a boyfriend or anything. I can see myself getting old and still being one. I'm basically there already.

Asker

+1 y
Just out of curiosity: Why haven't you had one?
Hopefuldreamer8

+1 y
I'm not attractive. And that's not an insecurity thing talking. I am truly unattractive. My face is extremely masculine looking to the point I've been mistaken as a guy. Unfortunately I look exactly like my father with long hair. Even my little nephew has said I am ugly, and he is just an innocent child. He's only four, so he doesn't know better. Little kids can recognize ugliness, and they're usually more honest.

I'm explaining all this because usually on this site when I say I am ugly, I get people saying: "I am sure that's not true, you're just insecure." In my case I actually am unattractive. I am not one of those girls who are actually pretty but think I am ugly. I've had people tell me since I was 12 years old that I am ugly, and I am 29 now. That's 17 years of being called ugly.

I've approached men but they've all rejected me. No man has ever asked me out.
Asker

+1 y
I'm a firm believer beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Now, I will say there are RARE exceptions where some people are considered unattractive to almost the entire population, and some people are considered attractive to almost the entire population.

Do you have a photo? I'll tell you what I think. I'm honest, so I won't be around the bush here.
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Hopefuldreamer8

+1 y
The thing is, I know my own experiences. I hate when people act like my experiences didn't happen. I know exactly what has happened in my life. I've been called ugly by even family members. My mother and sister tell me all the time that I am. I've lived in different cities, and I've heard the same thing. I hate showing my picture. Feel free not to believe me, but I know my own experiences in life. I shouldn't have to prove myself to someone.
Asker

+1 y
I would love to see a picture. It's just hard for me to believe 100 percent of the population thinks you're ugly.

Answer 9

Asker

Just out of curiosity: Why haven't you had one?

Answer 10

Hopefuldreamer8

I'm not attractive. And that's not an insecurity thing talking. I am truly unattractive. My face is extremely masculine looking to the point I've been mistaken as a guy. Unfortunately I look exactly like my father with long hair. Even my little nephew has said I am ugly, and he is just an innocent child. He's only four, so he doesn't know better. Little kids can recognize ugliness, and they're usually more honest.

I'm explaining all this because usually on this site when I say I am ugly, I get people saying: "I am sure that's not true, you're just insecure." In my case I actually am unattractive. I am not one of those girls who are actually pretty but think I am ugly. I've had people tell me since I was 12 years old that I am ugly, and I am 29 now. That's 17 years of being called ugly.

I've approached men but they've all rejected me. No man has ever asked me out.

Answer 11

Asker

I'm a firm believer beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Now, I will say there are RARE exceptions where some people are considered unattractive to almost the entire population, and some people are considered attractive to almost the entire population.

Do you have a photo? I'll tell you what I think. I'm honest, so I won't be around the bush here.

Answer 12

Hopefuldreamer8

The thing is, I know my own experiences. I hate when people act like my experiences didn't happen. I know exactly what has happened in my life. I've been called ugly by even family members. My mother and sister tell me all the time that I am. I've lived in different cities, and I've heard the same thing. I hate showing my picture. Feel free not to believe me, but I know my own experiences in life. I shouldn't have to prove myself to someone.

Answer 13

Asker

I would love to see a picture. It's just hard for me to believe 100 percent of the population thinks you're ugly.

Answer 14

Possible_Mate | 76 opinions shared on Dating topic.

Xper 6

my uncle, (70 something) I don't know if he ever dated, but he didn't really seem like the type. he never married and he didn't seem to have too many friends. sorry to hear about your brother that's really terrible, but he's not alone, so try to help him hold out until things turn around for him.

Answer 15

vishna | 1.2K opinions shared on Dating topic.

Master

I have a lot of friends and acquaintances that have never had partner's and have never had sex. I think most have stolen kisses though, even if it's just a quick peck.
18-24

Answer 16

Anonymous

My brother is 18

Asker

+1 y
Just imagine him being 35 and in the same boat.

Answer 17

Asker

Just imagine him being 35 and in the same boat.

Answer 18

cookiesandcream

Xper 6

My cousin is 30 and she's never been in a relationship. I know it's hard for her though because she really wants to have a family and we'll have kids but I don't know why no guy has courted her

moviedude714

+1 y
Really? She's never had a boyfriend?
cookiesandcream

+1 y
@moviedude714 Yeah she hasn't. I don't understand it though... She's very pretty and has an amazing personality.
moviedude714

+1 y
Ya like i said before in other comments, whenever I hear of a person that is 25+, or 30+ years of age and never had a relationship, I always find it more shocking to hear of a woman like that, because I like to feel its easier for women to get into a relationship since guys are still expected to be the initiators

Answer 19

moviedude714

Really? She's never had a boyfriend?

Answer 20

cookiesandcream

@moviedude714 Yeah she hasn't. I don't understand it though... She's very pretty and has an amazing personality.

Answer 21

moviedude714

Ya like i said before in other comments, whenever I hear of a person that is 25+, or 30+ years of age and never had a relationship, I always find it more shocking to hear of a woman like that, because I like to feel its easier for women to get into a relationship since guys are still expected to be the initiators

Answer 22

Anonymous

I think it was posted on the news either a year ago or almost a year ago, a man making headlines in the news about being a 58 year old virgin, and I worked with a dating coach a year ago, they told me they once worked with a man that was 42 and never had a girlfriend, still a virgin, he was an Asian guy from Vietnam

Opinion Owner

+1 y
just type in 58 year old virgin, and there will be some news articles about it

Answer 23

Opinion Owner

just type in 58 year old virgin, and there will be some news articles about it

Answer 24

HateBeingSingleAspie | 79 opinions shared on Dating topic.

Xper 7

i have no doubt there are probably more men out there who are 25+, or 30+ years of age who are still a virgin and never been in a relationship with the oppossite sex before, i believe in the quote that sperm is cheap, eggs are expensive

Answer 25

ixi10

Master

My mom's best friend is 60 and has never had a success relationship, marriage or kids or anything.

Answer 26

Anonymous

i know one guy who is 45 and never had a girlfriend, still a virgin, he told me he gave up over 20 years ago

Answer 27

Anonymous

My uncle is 45 and has never had a girlfriend as he had a bad upbringing so I guess he doesn't trust women as the way his mum and stepmum treated him when he was growing up.

Answer 28

Anonymous

i know of one guy who is 36 and a virgin, never had a girlfriend

Answer 29

Anonymous

very surprised by hearing women that have been single this long!, mainly because they don't have to make the first move and do the approaching

Answer 30

Anonymous

i know of a guy through one of my friends social circle, a guy who is 32 and never had a girlfriend

Asker

+1 y
It's so pitiful.
Opinion Owner

+1 y
ya it sure is, unfortuneately

Answer 31

Asker

It's so pitiful.

Answer 32

Opinion Owner

ya it sure is, unfortuneately

Answer 33

mexborough

Xper 5

the world is not a fair place.

Who is the oldest person you know in PERSON who has never had a girlfriend/boyfriend?

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