Is asking her to be exclusive on a 3rd date too early?

[Anonymous]

So we've had 2 dates and are going on our 3rd this sun.
We met online. I'm really liking this woman and we've kissed for the first time on the 2nd date.
I haven't been into the dating app since meeting and chatting with her.
I really want to get to know her better.

How would she feel if i tell her i want to delete the app as i only want to get to know her and recommend we be exclusive to each other?

Is this too early, will she get cold feet?
OR
will she absolutely love this and admire the fact i want to know her better and be exclusive to her.

[Browneye57]

Why do you want to do this? Consider dating others, have options, and an abundance mentality. There is no 'ONE'. Oneitis is quit unappealing to women in general - it makes you seem desperate and they hate that. They want to compete for you, know that you're in demand - it's called pre-selection. Women are very competitive.

You need Rollo badly - go here and read at least the first two year's blogs and then get back to us: www.therationalmale.com

[Asker]

Compete with me by us both dating other potential people.

[Browneye57]

Not compete WITH you, compete FOR you.
You seem desperate - that's what I was getting at - and that is a big turn off to women.

The best way to not BE desperate is to have options. A backup plan or two. An abundance of opportunity. It's called OUTCOME INDEPENDENCE - wherein you really don't care one way or another how it works out, you come to realize there is no 'ONE'. You date a whole bunch of them, and THEN you'll be in a place to recognize one that really is worth committing to. One that is worth your investment in time and energy to develop a relationship with. One that would be a good adjunct to your life - not the center of it.

in my opinion, you have lost sight of the fact that it is YOU that is the prize - not the woman. Women will come and go, but men are the ones that are steadfast, productive, and their emotional rock. That's what they're looking for.

[America1st]

Tell her you really enjoy your time with her and would like to be exclusive to see if she is the one. There is no time frame you must follow. Women tend to like a man who can talk about his thoughts and feelings. Men that won't are one of the biggest reasons for divorce. This is an area men need to adapt to meet the woman's needs. Men that won't communicate and have conversations with their lady will have no wife or a very unhappy one.

[Wonderer89]

How long did you talk online for? If it was a few months then you could be ok.
You could always float the "I really like you, I'm excited to see where this goes" and see what her reaction is then mention exclusivity on the next date?

[Asker]

We talked for a good 2-3weeks before the 1st date. I might just hint that thanks!

[Wonderer89]

Have fun 😊

[Chanel1981]

I would tell her you enjoy spending time with her and would like to explore that exclusively at least for the time being if she is amenable. I, personally, would appreciate such honesty. Best of luck to you!

[Asker]

Great advice thanks so much!!

[Oldsoulswiccangirl]

I think it's too early. Women get jittery and nervous you want her to make that move not your self. If you feel nervous always ask where do you see this going? Do you want more from this relationship?

[Asker]

Making her nervous is the last thing i want. I want her as in a relationship out of this that's the ultimate goal!

[Oldsoulswiccangirl]

Then ask her the said questions and let her tell you if she needs a bit more time or is actually on the same footing

[Turquoise46]

Depends on the girl, but why do you have to tell her? Why not just close it to new contacts for now (as most will allow you to do?)

[Asker]

Great idea I didn't think of that really. I guess I'm too scared to see if she's been online recently.
I'll think more bout it tonight and take it from there.

[littleheartbigbooty]

It really depends on the girl. You should tell her that you want to let her know you're not seeing or talking to anyone else and that you want to get to know her better. Personally, I would really appreciate it.

[Hungry_Shark]

If u want to get rejected , then bring up the exclusivity talk.
Dude, women will bring it up herself, its the women's department.
Your job is - make dates, after dates, once a week , thats it.
After 4-5 dates (which must end with sex), she will herself ask u to be exclusive with u, dont ever you bring the exclusivity talk.

[Asker]

But why isn't it my job? Wouldn't the woman appreciate that im being proactive and bringing the topic up of exclusivity?

[sassygirl13]

The way you say it is the most important. Tell her that you like how things are going and ask her if she thinks dating only each other for the time being is a good idea.
It's not too direct and give her the choice without any pressure

[Asker]

I'll definitely give her the choice. I won't be making any choices for her :)

[Anonymous]

Too early. The time will be right when you both feel it. If you ask for exclusivity or say anything sounding remotely serious then you will scare her off and possibly never hear from her again. Best to take your time.

Trust me, I made the mistake of doing something like that early on and it ended right afterwards.

[Opinion Owner]

Thanks for most helpful guy

[OrangeBoy]

I think you shouldn't demand nothing when you guys are just meeting each other.
It's sellfish and it should come from her, specially because you don't know enough about her life.

You will sound a controlfreak if you say that to her, from my point of view.

That's the problem with people. They want a relationship, even if without a true structure behind. Work to find if you guys are actually friends, and avoid to kinda tie the girl to you.

[Asker]

I wouldn't say I'm demanding anything nonrationale. Wouldn't the woman appreciate that im being proactive and bringing the topic up of exclusivity?

[OrangeBoy]

Too soon. Everyone here already said that to you.

[Anonymous]

Progress further than a kiss. Get closer to sex. If you were having sex it wouldn't be odd to ask. I wouldn't mention deleting the app. Just when things get more physical bring it up.

If you'd been more on a first date kiss second date fool around third date sex timeline it wouldn't be too soon. I mean doesn't mean she says yes or no but it's not weird to only want to have one sex partner at a time.

[Asker]

It's not always bout sex. I'm at an age that i can't fool around anymore and we get along really well mentally

[Opinion Owner]

I'd be inclined to go exclusive fast too, but your physical side is behind, so it might be too early.

The guy i know who dates the most? He generally is exclusive by date 3-4. And having sex. He basically goes exclusive when they have sex.

[Tony1974]

How well do you know your lady-friend? Asking for exclusivity after a 3rd date without sex is really old school. What do you think her reaction will be if you ask? i wouldn't ask myself but wait for her to "cement" the relationship.

[Anonymous]

I always assumed by the third date that it was automatically considered an exclusive relationship. If I was with a girl that many times and saw her on a date with someone else, I'd consider it cheating.

[Sara413]

I don't think most people would agree that a third date = exclusive. That really isn't very much time spent with a person. You're still feeling them out and getting an idea of who they are at that point.

[saty0709]

try and know her more... meet few more times

[Sara413]

Too early

[Asker]

Really why?

[Sara413]

Because you're still just getting a feel for each other... it's way too early to ask someone to commit to you.

[BronzedAdonis]

yeah you're being too accessible

[mikey112]

nope its never too early

[Anonymous]

Yes, it is. It's a little bit freaky...

[troychapman]

too early i think

[Anonymous]

try anal first.