Is asking for nudes cheating?

[Anonymous]

My no ex friend and I got into a fight and she sent me conversations that nudes were asked for. My boyfriend keeps apologizing and realizes he is just like his father. What should I do?

[xHoneyxBeex]

To me, exchanging nudes with someone other than your partner is definitely cheating so if someone is asking another person for nudes, they have an intention to cheat. Now, whether or not that's a deal breaker is up to you. Personally, I wouldn't be able to trust my partner anymore if I found out he did something like that. It would make me question the relationship and doubt his ability to be faithful in the future.

For some people, they can work through things like this and it's not a big deal, for others, it is a relationship killer. So I suppose you just have to figure out how you feel about it and how you will feel about it in the future (if it's something you can get past or if it's something that will continue to bother you down the road).

[lumos]

Of course it is cheating. Any sort of sexual communication with someone else, physical or otherwise, is considered cheating in my book. Especially if the partner isn't present during the exchange, hasn't consented to it (obviously), and the person doing it has no intention of telling their partner (i. e. is hiding it).
You should break up with him. He is not "just like his father", that's some bullshit excuse that he wants to spin because he wants to justify his behavior. He is his own person and he can decide for himself what he wants to do. He's partially blaming his father because he can't own up to his own actions, which proves he's a shitty and lazy person.
I think it's pretty obvious what you should do.

[natured]

What a shame, and what a freaking excuse... he's just like his father?
I would definitely send him to hell, i would consider this as cheating, he must be very frustrated and I feel sorry for you.

Just, don't put yourself in this situation, go away from it, from him, from all of it, you deserve so much better.

Good luck

[EpicDweeb]

Yes, asking for nudes is cheating. Even if there's nothing physical going on, it's still cheating because it shows a lack of love and loyalty to one's partner. Your boyfriend is in a hard place right now. A lot of times guys struggle with things they know are wrong, but are unable to control. As weird as it sounds, do your best to be there for him and to give him support. Not so that he can keep doing what he's been doing, but so that he won't feel the need to.

[ImACowgirl]

He's a grown ass man... He's not a child and quit always defending men and babying them. That's retarded and gay.

[EpicDweeb]

@ImACowgirl I'm not defending him, or babying him. I know that certain things can't simply be gotten rid of. They must be replaced by something better. For years I had an addiction to pornography. I needed something to focus on to keep my mind off it. Everyone has things they naturally want to do and have a hard time avoiding. That doesn't make them weak. But if it's a serious issue, we ought to help them deal with it so that it won't remain one. Sometimes forgiving someone is all that needs to happen. I'm not saying she should ignore the issue. Simply that the best way to deal with it may be to forgive him and to help him work through it.

[EpicDweeb]

@ImACowgirl I don't expect you to agree with me. You look like the kind of person who refuses to put up with anyone's crap. And if someone gives you any, you get rid of them. You also look like you care a lot about what people think of you. Especially in terms of appearance. You look like the spitting image of the generic beauty with the way you wear your hair and do makeup. You obviously want people to think of you as beautiful and sexy. In all likelihood you've learned to expect a lot of crap from guys. You're working hard enough to attract the kind that would give it to you. I hope you don't consider me overly rude. You truly are beautiful, but you seem shallow in what you value. You've either been hurt one too many times, or you simply aren't willing to risk being hurt, though I get the impression you don't know how to avoid it well.

[ImACowgirl]

Im shallow because I think a grown ass man is responsible for his behaviour and choices? You are babying him. He's a man. He made a choice. he knew what he we doing. He'll do it again. If its not a sign of weakness then its strength to you? If your not weak then why do you need other to help you with your mental problems?
What does my appearance have to do with anything? Now you're judging off of looks. That's shallow. I bet you date women who wear makeup and "do their hair" Wtf?

[ImACowgirl]

And coming from the one who had a porn addiction. You love generic women.

[EpicDweeb]

@ImACowgirl Believing a man is responsible for his deeds does not make you shallow, as I said, I'm not trying to justify what he did. People say making judgements on appearance is shallow, and yet what they usually mean by that is that someone unattractive may have more going for them than you know. In your case, you appear shallow because of how much makeup you have on, and the clothes you wear in your profile picture. Anyone can tell at a glance that a lot of time and effort went into doing your hair and makeup. People spend time and effort on their hair and makeup when they want to look good. Generally speaking, more time and energy put in to looking good, means a deeper concern with looking good. A certain level of value in appearances implies a certain shallowness to one's character.

[EpicDweeb]

@ImACowgirl Whether I love generic looking women or not won't change how much you seem to want to be one.

[EpicDweeb]

@ImACowgirl Of course to some extent, failure to control oneself is a sign of weakness. But it doesn't mean someone is weak. Even the strongest people have weaknesses. To say that if a person makes a mistake once they will do it again is to assume that people aren't capable of learning from their mistakes. You claim that as one addicted to porn I must have a thing for generic girls... Keep in mind, I was probably 13 when I first became addicted... so yeah I didn't put much value in the things that mattered. But once someone is addicted it becomes really hard to stop. I've been trying to stop for over a year and now. If nothing else that seems like it would convey growth, in both maturity, and self control.

[ImACowgirl]

ok so to you someone who wears makeup and does her hair is automatically shallow? You don't even know me personally nor do you know my full personality and you're telling me off my looks im just automatically shallow. That's ignorance at its finest and just shows that you (an unattractive person) are the shallow one here. You think uglier people have more going for them then beautiful people? you sound insecure. and what's wrong with wanting to look good? Do you date women or look at women that don't do themselves up? if you don't then quit being a hypocrite. and don't tell me it matters how much. Women these days wear far more make up and do things to their hair than they did back then. Most women don't leave the house without make up on.
Its not about if I want to be one or not it's about how you're bashing something you like, which makes you a hypocrite.

[EpicDweeb]

@ImACowgirl I never claimed you were shallow. I claimed that you appeared so based on how much time you spent on appearance. Further more, you don't know me personally either and have made a judgement about the kinds of girls you assume I date. I do not date. I have never started my relationship with a person as a dating one. I never said uglier women have more going for them, I pointed out your apparent mis-reference to the term "don't judge a book by it's cover." While the broad point of this phrase is not to judge based on appearance, it more specifically refers to things which appear ugly, or boring at first glance. We should certainly reserve our judgements until we've learned about a person, but up until this point, you've seemed to twist my words and to take things I've said out of context in an attempt to make me seem hypocritical and disreputable.

[ImACowgirl]

when it things like women then you are weak. a man weak to women and cheating is a weak man. If you're strong then you won't have the desire to mess with other women. He's just a cheater. And one time cheaters are known to cheat again, and again. They're people that are never satisfied and are weak to temptation. But above that its their own choice rather tempted or not. They chose to do it on their own.

[ImACowgirl]

what does my appearance have to do with this guy and cheating? Yes I did because yiu made judgments at me. How's that feel?
No it doesn't. It means exactly what it means which is don't judge someone based off of their outter appearance. Anyone can take a beautiful person and just by judging think they're a nice person.

[EpicDweeb]

@ImACowgirl While I would tend to agree that a man who cheats will likely cheat again, I'd also like to point out that there are different levels, if you will, of cheating. There's flirtation, disloyalty, being unloving... and then there are more physical acts of betrayal. Once a man has given in to the more physical acts there is very little hope for him. So far he's asked for nudes from another woman... and that's all (so far as we can possibly know). There's still hope for him at this point. He hasn't reached some point of no return. If a relationship can be salvaged it should be. No one should be forced to go through that heartbreak if there's an alternative.

[EpicDweeb]

@ImACowgirl You misunderstand me. I'm not judging you based on your appearance. I can assume based on your appearance that you likely did your put on makeup and either did your hair or payed money to have it done for you. In other words I know that you have put a lot of time and energy into your appearance at the least, possibly a great deal of money as well. Don't judge a book by its cover... that statement fails to realize just how much we can learn from appearances. For example, I can get an idea of how old a book is based on its cover, I can tell if it's been used a lot or if it's brand new. I can usually tell the name of the book and I can tell what language it is likely to be in. There are reasonable judgements that can be made based on appearances. Just because it's a wise saying, doesn't mean it's some infallible truth.

[ImACowgirl]

Any level is the same level. Its all cheating. He couldn't go out and do it so he did it through his phone. Doesn't matter if its physical or not. He took naked pictures from another woman. He's already a cheater. A relationship cannot be salvaged when one cheats. They already show that they cannot commit to you and they already show how much they care and don't really love you by doing so. You don't salvage a broken relationship like this one. It won't get better. You can't change a man. Its not going to make him better or change him if she sticks around. How is her being loyal to him and staying with him going to keep him from lusting after women?

[EpicDweeb]

@ImACowgirl Sigh, that in and of itself doesn't. You and I have differing views of the world. Though you have pointed out something that I've taken for granted. No one can change apart from the redemption. Thank you for reminding me of that.

[ImACowgirl]

You talk weird... But if that true then I guess when I judge off of your appearance I can find out something about you without even knowing you.. According to you.

[ImACowgirl]

So you getting offended by my judgment of you which was off of my conversation with you rather than your looks. I didn't even look at your picture buy you had to look at mine to try and go off subject. But I can say you were wrong about everything you assumed so going off of a picture you failed.

[EpicDweeb]

@ImACowgirl Yes you most certainly could look at my picture and judge me based on it. For example, you could know that I like hats because I'm wearing one and it's not a common practice. You could probably guess that the picture was taken in a photo shoot for two reasons. One would be the logo at the bottom of the picture, and secondly people have a certain way of smiling when they've been posing for a while, which you probably could have told if you'd payed enough attention. You could tell I didn't comb my hair which mean I probably don't care a lot about my own appearance. All those things would have been true to some extent and can be determined simply by looking at a picture of me.

[EpicDweeb]

@ImACowgirl I'm sorry if I sounded offended, I didn't mean to come off as such. I simply don't care for people who say that there's no hope for someone, or who seems to say relationships should end if there are any issues with them. Of course I don't blame you for that because plenty of people think that way and it's a very prevalent idea in our culture, I simply think it's wrong and destructive. Assuming a man can change, you've condemned two people to heartbreak. I've seen enough people suffer from breakups that I refuse to acknowledge it as a legitimate option if there is ANY other course of action.

[EpicDweeb]

I must apologize. I should not have attacked your character for condemning a man who was clearly in the wrong. I sought to discredit you as opposed to acknowledging the issue and any alternative solutions. I'm sorry. Please forgive my words. They were uncalled for.

[Asker]

I too am not exusing what he did, it was a real dick thing to do. What hurts me the most is my so called friends knowing this information that went on for a week after we cane back from his family reunion. She even asked him for a dick video! Then she proceeded to ask how she was a kinky girl. Again im not excusing anything, its just weird for me. Then she wants to claim she didn't want to tell me to protect my heart

[ImACowgirl]

Well yes thats true but as far as telling if someone is shallow or not isn't. You can't tell that by a picture. You can say vain. Well that's obvious but shallow. You don't know how I view people or what types of guys I've dated.
But I will tell you there's a good amount of people who stay in those relationships and are miserable. I beleive things happen for a reason and when someone hurts you to a certain point in the relationship then its a sign you're not meant to be with that particular person. They're just not meant for each other. When two people value different things in a relationship then it just won't work.

[ImACowgirl]

Well you know your friends aren't your friends and your boyfriend is a scumbag. I honestly can tell you he will repeat. You can't fix a person or make them be what you want to be, but it's in your hands.

[EpicDweeb]

@ImACowgirl Sincere apologies. What I mean to convey by the term shallow, is vain. I realize they aren't the exact same but I often, if incorrectly, use them as near synonyms. Again, sincere apologies.

[ImACowgirl]

Ok then.

[AynonOMouse]

Yeah, it is cheating. And I am sure he has had conversations and started getting attached to the person (emotional cheating) before asking for nudes too. That is really messed up.

[ThatOneGirl1312]

I would say it would be cheating, but just talk about it with him and just see his point of view, but you could always dump him

[Asker]

Thats what im going to do

[LaurenGrace]

who was asking her or him? or were they both? if it was him.. dump him and get your friend back... if it was her then you'll be glad you're not friends.. if it were both kick them both to the kerb .. go buy the coolest sex toys you can find.

[paranoidmarcela]

What? Your boyfriend asked your friend for nudes?

If that's the case, it's a big disrespect. I guess I would consider it cheating. And anyway, I would say bye to the guy.

[Fitness-Fanatic]

Yes it's cheating. He's giving you the
" like father, like son" excuse lol That's sooo manipulative. So he's a cheater and a manipulator. Two dangerous combos. I'd dump his ass

[DolceAmore]

🙄🙄 cheater... went behind your back and wanted pics from others, your friend isn't the only one he's asked probably

[singlebee]

Agreed

[stresscity]

send someone else nudes and see how he feels. im guessing he wouldn't like it but you see my point

[Nyx_85]

It depends on your definition of cheating. It's definitely sketchy and I wouldn't be with a guy like that.

[Ginaxoxo54321]

Did you ask him why he wanted to see to ur friend naked? Wtf I would have freaked out that's so not okay. Make him take you shopping then dump his ass.

[sp33d]

It isn't cheating, but it sure is hilarious. "I'm just like my father" as if that's supposed to relieve him of all responsibility. Such shit happens when you don't work on your relationship.

[serious]

If not cheating then at least it indicates intention to cheat

[singlebee]

Yes if he send nudes or received it then it is cheated 100%

Dump him.. Cause is you don't then he will do it again

[Maik567]

Yes if your boyfriend was asking another girl for nudes when you were dating it is cheating.

[ImACowgirl]

What's house you do? Breakup with him. Unless you wanna be with a cheating sack of shit but that just shows how low your standards are.

[ImACowgirl]

What should you do*?

[antisocialmelanin]

He asked your friend for nudes? Lmao. Girl, leave him!

[Anonymous]

Thats cheating def.

He should have told you. I'd thank the ex friend.. at least one person is being honest with you.

[talha_ha]

Yeah. Why would you ask someone else for nudes if you're in a relationship? Boggles the mind.

[Seka16]

Because sometimes guys either get bored in the relationship, or can't cherish what they have and don't realize what they have could be all they need. I'm assuming your are in the percentage of guys that are nice but can't get a girlfriend because we are all tied up about these fuxk boys/ bad boys. They are a waste of time honestly and we need to stop caring about these guys because they don't care about us. 😂😂😂 sorry no offense im in the percentage that can't get a boyfriend because i look too angry half the time.

[This_is_my_username]

Ewww he wants to see your friend naked. That's technically cheating

[SoapEater]

Talk it out, see how both of you feel about it.

[Asker]

Yeah we are going to meet up and go over things. My now ex friend sent me the messages after she accused me of not giving her a phone number. she called me a liar and tried to hurt me with this

[Goodwifie]

That's just wrong dear.
No excuse will do.

[Myaseen]

I think

[Anonymous]

Yes he was wrong for trying to get nudes from another girl.