Guys, would you date an intelligent girl?

[Anonymous]

The type of girl that may be better at her job than you ( not that there's anything wrong with that but I'm wondering if this is a red flag to any of you ) , who will make a good amount of money and is very smart and has a career in, for example, a stem field, and is overall good at what she does and thinks logically and is a cold person and doesn't like socializing very much. and is somewhat shy/reserved and also somewhat closed off. what would you think about this type of girl? is it a turn off?

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+1 y

Lol , sorry if the question says 'guguy' don't know why it glitched , I meant to say 'guys'.

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+1 y

By closed off and cold I meant someone who isn't smiling all the time and is a social butterfly or something. who is cold with others but is comfortable around you if you get to know her well. and doesn't have many friends , so isn't into having lots of friends , but wouldn't mind meeting new people just wouldn't like to be close to them or so.

[lord_chilled]

I couldnt live without an intelligent girl.

Well, no i can 😁, im doing it right now.
I guess what i meant was i couldnt put up with a girl who wasn't intelligent enough.
And by what i mean with that is to rely more on logic rather than emotion. It doesn't matter if her iq is 100 or 150. What i mean is she is gonna use that instead of doing weird things that a lot of girls do.

Now i know women will always be women and men will always be men, but at least in serious situations she has to be level headed. And i would like to be able to have deep conversations with her sometimes, without her getting bored, drifting off, or changing the subject.

Too many times i have come across girls who will do things like poke my face, act like children or do other "cute" things when im trying to say something important.
I just go along, because i dont want to hurt their feelings, and its not like they have any bad intent. But jesus, they gotta save that for later, trying to tell you something here woman!😥😂😂😂

That being said, besides being intelligent, the description is honestly, a bit off a turnoff. Women that work and make a lot of money, especially women who work in STEM fields and the like, tend to be too focussed om work in my taste.

This is because one of the main things i want in a girl is a woman that puts family over work.
Basically a woman that puts work in the backseat and wouldn't have a problem staying at home and taking care of family matters if needed.

Im a traditional guy, and look for a traditional girl. So regarding work, being very ambitious and work driven is a negative for me. The being cold oart is as well. Im not a very social person. But im very caring towards the oeople in my inner circle. If she isn't much of a people's person, i would be the last person to have a problem with that, but many cold people tend to be cold to EVERYONE. so, id have to see about that, wether she is different to me (and by extention to our future family).

Well, thats basically it. What i want is a smart woman who will take care of our family, raise our kids with the best, logical judgement, and have my back regarding things i may not be always able to keep a check on, like sharing duties.
For example, she could be the ones keeping finances in check and giving me advice regarding the former. I want to have a big family , with like 4-5 kids, so i guess i will have to find a hell of a woman to be abke to do all these things.

I know, i have way too much expectations

[Asker]

I respect your opinion , but most of those ambitious , smart women will always put their career over family , it's rare to find a woman who is what you described but also puts family over career, though I'm sure there are many out there even if it's rare. the reason is because it's those traits that make her smart , make her career driven as well. but thats just my opinion so i could be wrong. also what I meant by cold is that I'm cold to people i don't know because I don't want to let them in too quick or get hurt , so what I meant by cold is that cold to people in general but nice and caring to people close to her.

[lord_chilled]

" it's those traits that make her smart , make her career driven as well. "
I agree with this as well. In my experience also , its very rare to find such women.

But, its just what i want. It may sound like i want the best of both worlds, but i really just want a bit of both worlds. I want to be able to talk to her without having to be too simple. And i also want her to be family oriented, at least a certain amount of both, doesn't have to be super smart and super family-woman. Im not perfect, in fact very far from it, i can't expect her to be either. I think there are few girls who fall somewhere in the middle, tough.

My mom is the intelligent, logical, career driven type.
My sister is the opposite, very emotion driven , girly etc.
Now that may just be age/maturity difference, but im sure part of it is in their nature.
I love both of them to bits. They are my life.
But i couldnt imagine being with a woman who is like either 😂😂😂.
My mom has taught me a lot of things, and been overall

[lord_chilled]

A very positive influence, but i feel like i was never close enough with her, emotionally. I always felt like there was a bit off a barrier, a distance, which neither of us could breach, even if we wanted to.
Sometime, when i saw moms and sons being close, i felt a bit jealous.
I would never tell my mom this, and she will never know. I want her to believe i was/am perfectly happy with our relationship.

As for my sister, she is the one im closest to at home. We always play around, goof around and do silly things. But when i try to be serious and try to tell her something, she oftentimes doesn't seem to grasp me. She realizes that im serious, but doesn't know how to respond.

In her case, she is still young tough, so she may change.
I accept people the way they are. Its just that I don't know if i could handle either ends. I want a bit of both, i guess.
I don't know, we'll see how things work out 😅

[lord_chilled]

Thanks for mho

[WalterRadio]

I strongly prefer highly intelligent women because I do not have to dumb down my conversations (my father sat me down one time when I was 14 or 15 years old and scolded me for making adults feel stupid around me, he taught me how not to do that, but it is so nice when I don't have to).

However, I have never met a woman who is demonstrably more intelligent than I am. Being an expert in some field in which I am not, sure, happens all the time.

I have also never met a woman I was attracted to who made more money than I typically do (not including pre-career). I have known some C-levels women, but they are older than me and none are attractive. (I have never met Elizabeth Holmes, and although she is a fraud and not nearly as smart as she thinks she is, she is both attractive and makes more money than I do; I would definitely sleep with her).

"very smart and has a career in, for example, a stem field, and is overall good at what she does and thinks logically and is a cold person and doesn't like socializing very much. and is somewhat shy/reserved and also somewhat closed off"
Sounds like half of the women I've been in relationships with (a good part of the other half are models and actresses).

[lord_chilled]

No offence, but did the narcissism come with the intelligence, or did you just develop that over time?😏

[WalterRadio]

@lord_chilled
It is called my resume.

[lord_chilled]

😂😂😂

[Anonymous]

I'm pretty sure most men prefer intelligent women, my boyfriends have anyway, they get turned on when I demonstrate my personal talents (without trying to sound arrogant - we all have our niches).

[Ninene]

Dont think that being cold hearted or closed off is an attractive quality

[Asker]

Even what I said in my update? I explained what I meant by cold and closed off , it's that way in general but to those close enough to her she's comfortable and shows all her true emotions and insecurities and vulnerabilities and happiness and such feelings. So more like a shy person but with a bit more of that coldness (doesn't smile much , is very professional with everyone except those close enough to her , doesn't let in people easy and they have to work to gain her trust),
Is it still a turn off?

[PrincessPie]

Why would any sane guy not want to date a girl who is intelligent? lol.

[Asker]

I don't know but some guys find it a turn off. where I come from if guys see that kind of ambitious , smart woman they get turned off by her and wouldn't pursue her and some of them wouldn't even view her as a real woman. I can see how outside where I live though most guys answered yes they would date such a girl , but in my culture and country for some reason many guys don't like girls like this , who have a passion for something , and who want to find out more about everything , and who knows exactly what she wants. these traits come off to those guys as 'serious' or 'unapproachable' or even masculine to some.

[sawno]

Yes! Turn on! Even if its in my own field, in which i am one of the smartest from my department i would love to have her as my girlfriend. It means she is interested in the same thing, can teach me new things, can hold a great intellectual conversation with me and on top of that do fun activity's, develop an incredible bond, share strong mutal love and have a good sex life. What a great girl she would be :D

[573v3thek1d]

Challenging cool, outperforming frustrating. I could imagine it's the same the other way round.

[Asker]

Not really , if a guy outperforms me I wouldn't really care that much. but that's just me , maybe other girls would say they don't want a guy like that.

[573v3thek1d]

I just like to be on the same wavelength with my partner and I feel like that isn't the case when she's outperforming me or I'm outperforming her

[573v3thek1d]

But maybe I'm focusing too much on one aspect

[Asker]

No I get what you're saying , it could get a bit annoying for one partner to constantly outperform the other. It could have some problems arise as well between the partners.

[Asker]

But I don't mind having a partner like that , yes it would get a bit annoying sometimes but the first thing I notice about a man's personality is intelligence and how hard he works and performs at his job , so I wouldn't mind if he's highly intelligent and outperforming me in his field. if he's in the same field as me though I could only see him as a competition to me , maybe later would see him as a romantic interest but depends on the man.

[573v3thek1d]

I don't think that intelligence only shows in how you perform at your job. I think intelligence has a big influence on how you talk, interact, what type/structure of interaction you prefer and if that is too different between me and my partner, that is where it gets difficult for me.

[Asker]

No I know intelligence isn't just all about how good at your career you are and all , but I also like hard working men so I mentioned that but I agree with you. and I understand what you're saying , that there will be communication issues or so if your partner isn't the same as you intelligence wise right? I can see how that could be a problem for people , even to me as well to an extent.

[573v3thek1d]

I'm sorry if it seemed like I wanted to discredit your answer, I just wanted to add a detail that I thought wasn't mentioned to the extent that I deemed appropriate

[Asker]

No its alright , I am just replying cus this was an interesting conversation. I love knowing how other people think and their perspectives and opinions about things.

[573v3thek1d]

That kind of curiosity is in my opinion a sign of your intelligence and also a reason why I don't know if I could handle a girl that is outperforming me mentally because for me there are borders to some topics and I don't want to cross them myself or others to cross them

[Asker]

I somewhat understand what you're getting at. thank you very much for your opinion☺.

[573v3thek1d]

No problem.

[karandhingra]

Money I DNT care literally (if I have sufficient to live normal life)

Intelligent I would love to, if she is in different field than i would be lot more curious to understand her field than even her

It's a turn on for people like me, who judge not only from looks but also personality

[karandhingra]

mostly girls i have met were cold and closed off only and its nt a turn off

[SebShaw82]

I would date a smart girl but I'm not sure about dating someone who's closed off.
Intelligence in a woman is attractive but when she considers herself superior than others because of her intelligence, that is a non-negotiable turn-off.

[Asker]

By closed off I didn't mean a superiority complex or something like that , just someone who isn't super social and smiling all the time but is more serious and enjoys alone time mostly. but who can be more comfortable around those close to her. I guess I should've added better details to the questions haha , my bad.

[SebShaw82]

Oh so you just mean closed off as in being taciturn? If so, yes as long as she would come out of her shell when she's more comfortable, kind of like me.

[casscade]

It isn't to me, to me I genuinely don't care how much you earn, I earn enough to feed a small family and pay for myself and have some left over, so if you don't mind earning more than me or being better than me, then I have no issues.

[sean1234]

Of course I would like to date a intelligent girl, BUT WHAT is intelligence? That in itself is a whole other question. Personally I think real intelligence in running thin these days.

[FriendlyDrugDealer]

Intelligence? Hell fucking yeah.

Closed off and cold person? Oh that’s a huge no.

[Asker]

Closed off as in not super social , cold though yeah cold in all situations but isn't like that with the people close to her? How about that? Or still a turn off?

[FriendlyDrugDealer]

She doesn’t have to be the life of the party but she has to be open to meeting new people especially my friends but I think I’ll try to overlook it but I would have to understand why she chooses to close herself off from people

[TadCurious]

1. great at her job --- check
2. smart --- check
3. shy/reserved --- that's fine
4. cold and closed off --- no

[SteelerNation50]

Cold is where you lost me. If you mean not very affectionate then that would be a big problem.

[Kirb559]

Hell yea, doesn't matter if she makes more money than me

[Anonymous]

I fall instantly in love with brilliant women. I'm in love with one now but she's much younger and gay (I think) and I'm happily married.

[Asker]

Why do you think she's gay? lol , just curious?
And do you love your wife or why'd you fall for another woman? Sorry for those questions but your story seems interesting.

[Opinion Owner]

Of course I love my wife. "By fall instantly in love" I meant "am strongly attracted to". I didn't mean "I would leave my wife if there was the slightest chance..." I think she's gay because she's brilliant and stunning and could have a man if she wanted one. But what do I know? Maybe she just hasn't met her match.

[Mynameisanon]

The type of girl you just described is me. Closed off.. shy... I’ve been called cold, but smart.

[Asker]

You sound interesting then ! Follow me back so I can pm you? if you want to ofc.

[readywriter]

Smart girls are great. Its the smart asses you hate.

[Asker]

What kind of behavior comes off as smart ass like? any things a girl would say or do that would come off that way?

[readywriter]

The one's who try and top anything you say. Or correct you when you tell a story. Girls who tell you how you are going to do something in front of others.

[sandymuffin]

I love a girl who is exactly what you described. It's not always a physical attraction of a girl, it's her mind and soul that really matters to me. A girls, as you described, is a huge turn on for me.

[HamAndCheese]

What kind of hours does she work? How seriously does she take her career? Is she what you'd call a, "career woman?"

[MLGbreezy]

Fuck yessssssssss and i do love girls with glasses i think it makes them look cute😊

[Ayer93]

Yes. I would as long as I know she doesn't judge me for my income or social status.

[Ayer93]

Intelligence is one of the main qualities I look for in a girl. If they can't converse with me on my level I can't do it.

[Greaver]

An intelligent girl would be awesome because I don’t like being a smart guy without a smart girl

[Philyouup]

Would love too! best relationship I ever had was with a girl who challenged mine.

[Splintercell]

Yes I like intelligent ladies, they hold good conversations.