Why is my boyfriend so uncaring and detached?

[Cute_and_kind]

Okay so, keeping it short: we went on a college trip, got drunk, kissed a little and one day later he asked let’s give it a try?
And we got into a relationship.
Now, he thinks he got me too easily (he actually said this) and is totally uncaring and detached. Never shows emotions or that he cares AT ALL.
doesn't let me be romantic and neither does he himself do anything even remotely romantic. Nothing sexual either.

(He’s has bad past experience 2 years ago. His ex left him without any good reason and he was heartbroken.)

anyway it has been 5 days since the relationship began
what do i do? Do you think he needs time or what?

[BlueberryFrick]

Well if it's only been 5 days perhaps it's too early to make that kind of judgment. Maybe he just isn't comfortable; that was the case with my first intimate relationship.

It turns out it's because I was finally comfortable around her. Being the comedian was a mask I put on to interact with people to cover up that I was uncomfortable. With my gal I felt like I could be my true self.

Just give your relationship some time and don't expect things to get good this early on. When a guy makes a first move he goes all out because he wants to leave a good impression; he's had time to plan it out. He hasn't had time to plan out every conversation or interaction with you following that day.

[Cute_and_kind]

This is a good perspective. Thankyou! You probably saved my relationship
he is getting better indeed
made efforts to take care of me today

[NoFcks2Give]

Take it easy it's only been five days. Your 20 years old. You lack the skills to cultivate a relationship. Which is fine, you're going to go through many men before you get this right, but first things first. You need to find out what MEN find attractive in you besides your body. Meaning, at this age you need to understand that sex is the easy part. You're a woman, you could fuck a different man every night if that was your motivation, but it's not.

What you want to master is what you know to be love, but what men understand as a sacrifice. Your greatest relationship crucible will be understanding this.

How do you attain a man's love, past his lust?

[Cute_and_kind]

rightt
how do i do that?

[NoFcks2Give]

Know what he is buying and sell it better than anyone else. Understand that you have to be in tune with what most men are, but luckily for you, if you are willing to step into our shoes, you can learn what we are in minutes if you just pay attention. Why? Mostly, because we are simple. But what we want most (outside of sex lol) is peace.

If you can figure out how to consistently give the right man peace. You are halfway there.

BUT do not waste this on a man who isn't ready to pay for what your selling. Many women give their best to someone who couldn't or wouldn't pay the price, so they end up settling for what they don't want. Know your customer, by simply looking at his life. Your 20 and in college, date men who are older, and you will see the clear difference between the guys you've been around, and a finished product.

MOST IMPORTANTLY, like I said before, you will go through a lot of men to get there. So take birth control. Don't have a child by the wrong guy.

[Cute_and_kind]

right! haha no, i am not having sex with him at all.
hmm makes sense! Thankyou so much :)

[Tomblebee]

Im going to try show you a very warped alternative perspective. Are you taking responsibility for your actions. Are you an easy person to care about? Would he be feeling that you are uncaring and detached as well? Treat others how you would like to be treated. 😊

[Cute_and_kind]

that is a different perspective. thankyou!
i think i too might be a little closed off

[Angelina25]

Why don't you guys communicate over this. Besides, the main question is, do you really want to be in a relationship with him? Do you Really like him? If it's a yes, then you guys need to have a proper talk.
If not, move on.

[Cute_and_kind]

yes, i do.
right
thankyou!

[Angelina25]

No problem.
Be safe and sound.
All love,
Angelina25
xxx

[Turtleluv]

5 days in and there's already drama and needs not being met, BREAK UP!

This is supposed to be the puppy love stage where everyone is overly happy and the relationship is perfect.

[Cute_and_kind]

true!
i'll give him a little more time to see if he improves, if not, i'll move on.

[Sharky92]

Okay first you have to remember that he got heartbroken..
So you can't say anything bad to him or saying that he is uncaring and all that... he is just scared..
Scared of being heartbroken again..
So what you want to do is you have to keep treating him good and always try to have sexual activities with him and keep calling him be caring try to stay close to him...
Convince him that he is SAFE with you and you will show him love.. and let him think that he can get over who broke his heart..
If he didn't show any caring about that... then he is just playing with you and he doesn't love you..
Trust me.. i know this shit.. I've been in a lot

[Cute_and_kind]

He tries to say emotionally away to avoid being hurt again :p

[dizmuhjam]

Time? Dumb his ass and wait for him to crawl back.. let me explain why: 'Now, he thinks he got me too easily (he actually said this)'

Here's what you shouldve done..
Douche boi: I got you to easily.
Poor GF: Oh is that so?
Douche boi: Yeah.. you didn't let me fight for you.
Poor GF: Okay bye then if you can't appretiate that. Its over.
Douche boi: No I didn't ask for you to break up with me.
Poor GF: As if you had a choice. Its over. You want me back and appretiate me? Work for it. thats what you wanted right?
> Poor girlfriend breaks up contact for 2 weeks while he tries desperately to come back into contact, its up to her to decide if he manages to be successful and won't ever be stupid like that again. The end.<

[Cute_and_kind]

haha nice!
Will do this the next time he says some bad shit
thankyou!

[Chaoseverywhere]

2 years ago? he should be good now, right? I assume he's also early 20s? If he's not over it, he'll be like this for god knows how long, he needs closure, he wants to know why.

Or he is over it;

He said he got you so easily hahahahaha, and don't appreciate it understanable. Easy come easy go? for some people at least (he will feel this subconsciously and sometimes say it because he doesn't care.
If it's this, too late? Dunno if you should distance yourself or not. Sometimes works, sometimes not. In this case he doesn't care if he said it to you.
Or/and
He compared you too his ex after asking u out, then thinks "this is not how i picked up my ex", "she's nothing like her", "am i downgrading?" >
Only reason he thinks like this is not over her. He needs that closure (he wants to know why?)

That's why

He initiated so he did like you. Probably because he got you too easily. Which in his case can be true. That's all i got. If it was me, i'd move on.

[Chaoseverywhere]

I don't know but "playing hard to get" is starting to make sense.

[Lover4u77737]

If he isn't going to work at the relationship.
Someone else will.

[Chaoseverywhere]

@Lover4u77737

yeah not even a week yet and he's like this. I don't know when he'll get over whatever it is that made him like. To disrespect women to the point (his ex?). I'd just go. He got traumatised. He couldn't cope so he went asshole mode to women. He can be like this forever. Sometimes fixable. The extra work is not worth it to me. He might not feel like he has a problem ( seems to have a god complex because he actually told u your ez, he can do better). Yeah move on find someone else

[Cute_and_kind]

True true. You have a pretty good understanding of how he thinks :p
Thankyou!
His best friend is madly in love with me. i have a lot of other options but he is kinda improving

[Chaoseverywhere]

@Cute_and_kind

***MIND BLOWN***** Right?

you're welcome lol

-dime-store psychotherapist

[Trippyy]

If that's how it is just give it to him straight. I wouldn't want to be in that relationship myself.

Maybe he's more about the hunt and less about the reward? I don't know him so I can't really tell, but if I were in your situation I'd tell him what's up and just move on

[Cute_and_kind]

sounds about right
i'll give him a little more time, see how things work out

[Moonchild714]

He sounds like a guy that wants the hunt, once caught he loses interest. You need to sit down and tell him you deserve more either he's in this or not!!! But you need an answer regardless...

[Cute_and_kind]

true! thankyou

[boggboss]

Think you 2 got in a relationship that was built on Lucy and not attraction

[boggboss]

Built on lust

[Cute_and_kind]

perhaps.

[boggboss]

It's clear u said u got toghter after making out and stuff not actual attraction

[Cute_and_kind]

attraction is there indeed. dont know about love though

[boggboss]

Attraction is a base emotion

[boggboss]

Not enough to determine a relationship

[justcuriouss]

Hell naw not worth it any relationship that starts with a drunk make out is doomed from the beginning trust me

[Cute_and_kind]

haha :p
sounds about right

[Halligan]

He obviously needs to heal, but that’s not your job. He’s insulting you by basically saying you’re easy. He has no respect for you. You can’t help him if he has no respect for you. Move on, sweetie.

[Babsie1984]

He’s maybe just very guarded emotionally. It’s still very early so give it some time and see how things develop

[Babsie1984]

Thank you for mho!

[pman24]

Give it a week, then confront him. Afterwards make a decision and stick to it.

[Cute_and_kind]

makes sense and helpful! thankyou

[SarahsSummer]

End this “relationship”. There’s better ones out there for you. His past shouldn’t be your problem.

[joze99]

If he actually said that he got you too easily, dump his egotistical ass. He doesn't deserve you, let alone care about you at all.

[anthonydunn688]

Some guys are and some guys just needs to know that you are not going to stay with him that he is just time matter

[Kiels01]

Why is he your boyfriend if this is how you feel?

[21nikhil]

If it happens again
M here 4 u

[Cute_and_kind]

lol no
but thankyou.

[harleysmom_39]

Get out now... he won't change his opinion of you

[rogermclain]

Well u stepid u stay intouch

[Anonymous]

he doesn't trust women

[Safa_Malfoy]

he doesn't love you