Why is my boyfriend inconsiderate of my feelings?

[Anonymous]

So my boyfriend the past couple of weeks have been treating me really poorly. He bails on me, doesn't talk to me all day when he says he will talk to me soon. And we fight all the time about him not showing affection and not making me feel loved and he always says he's going to try harder. And for a little bit it seemed like he was but then the past few days he's been really shady and mean and inconsiderate of my feelings. I just had my wisdom teeth removed and he promised me earlier this week that he would come hang out with me since I'm going to be home alone all weekend but he bailed on me today to go snowboarding for the weekend and then when I got mad he was just like "ok I'm sorry I don't mean to do it hurt you but I'm going so I'll talk to you later". Like why does he say he doesn't mean to but still does this to me anyways. I will tell him that I'm really upset and crying and he just gets mad at me because he hates arguing. Should I not be as mad as I am or is my anger and hurt justified? I'm sorry this is so long I'm just in such a confused place right now. Thank you in advance for your time and advice.

[Anonymous]

Honestly, I don't mean to be rude, but most people probably won't read this question, because it is all clumped together, it's exhausting.

Try to be brief, and use spaces in your words, like paragraphs. If you want others to be considerate and read it, then be considerate to others by typing it all out properly, so that it's readable!

[Asker]

This website is suppose to be about getting advice about problems or other things not about writing an a+ essay. It's just as easy to read if you're not illiterate and you don't have to be rude just because it's too difficult for you to read. You had no reason to comment on this post if you were just going to complain about how it's writing it's rude.

[Opinion Owner]

Well, there's no need to be so darn sensitive about it.

It's common sense; if you expect someone else to take the time out to reply to your post, then take the time out to actually write it out properly.

Give and take. Lesson of life; it applies everywhere, including this website.

Now, I'm going to go back to doing what I did before I wasted thirty seconds of my life writing this post

[Asker]

Thank you

[Anonymous]

He just doesn't really care. He won't change, or I should say it's very very unlikely he'll change.
Two choices, 1- accept it, he's selfish, put up with it and don't complain. Or 2- leave him and find somebody who actually gives a shit how you feel and actually likes spending time with you.

[Asker]

Yeah I understand where you are coming from. It's just difficult to come to that point of breaking up when you have been together for so long. I don't know how to do it. I'm scared I'm going to be even more unhappy without him

[Opinion Owner]

I know it'll be hard, but be honest to yourself. What is harder, staying in an unhappy relationship where you're feeling so unloved and uncared for, with a guy who feels it's ok for you to feel like that and ok to cause you to feel like that, or a few weeks of feeling down and missing him?
Like some women are married 30 years and have to leave. It's so hard, but it's easier than staying sometimes. Break ups is temporary difficulties, bad relationships can last forever.

Also, I know from experience, it's more horrible to be with a guy who doesn't love and respect you than it is to be alone. Not me, but my parents. Married over 40 years, and yea it was hard for my mom to finally leave my dad but honestly, in all my life, single was the happiest I ever seen her.

Shitty love is just so depressing. You don't need to put yourself through it. If you do put yourself through it, you just need to learn to shut off all feelings and not care that he doesn't care.

[Asker]

Yeah that makes sense too and I'm sorry about your parents. I have a lot of thinking and some soul searching to do right now to decide what is best. Thank you so much I really appreciate everything

[Opinion Owner]

Trust me, I'm happy about them lol. Never seen either of them so happy.
Seriously, they have really shown me to never ever stay in an unhappy relationship. I didn't know what a difference it could make. I wish everyone in unhappy love could see what I saw and realize it's not so bad.

Good luck. I hope you can work things out with him rather than ending it. I do think most relationships can work out if both learn to adapt to each other.

[Anonymous]

You seem a little needy and you lack confidence and he seems like a bit of a dick. Put your happiness in yourself and not another man.

[SomeoneImportant]

Seems like he's hit the point where loving you is becoming a chore. You need to stop being so dependent on his love.

[Asker]

I don't like feeling like I'm dependent on his love. I don't want to be that way i just felt like it would have been nice for him to be here with me when I'm in pain from my surgery. How do you think I could change how I react to him doing these type of things?

[SomeoneImportant]

It's just wisdom teeth, that was unnecessary on your part. But you can't change, you are what you are, it's not your fault though, so don't make it seem like you're the one with a problem. You can't change, but you can adjust.

[Asker]

Okay yeah I do understand that I think I just have a lot of insecurities that came from growing up in a not so great home but I have been trying to work on that a lot lately.
I just think that from being all drugged out and in pain I over reacted but I do need to work on how I look at these type of these and not analyze everything and think that just because he does these things doesn't mean he doesn't love me

[SomeoneImportant]

Exactly, and his actions are actually expected of a guy who loves his girl lol. Just because he doesn't want you around, doesn't mean he doesn't love you. Love has a different effect on guys.