What’s the best way to call someone out on ghosting?

Question

I met this guy one night in my hometown in France, he lives in Paris and to get to know each other more he invited me to spend a weekend with him in Paris. So I went along it went fine I get home he asks me how my trip went I ask him how his day was and no answer it’s been two days.
Ok sure we don’t know each other that well and live on different sides of the country but it’s a shitty move on his side and I want to call him out on it solely so that he understands that it’s hurtful and immature. What is the best way to convey this message.
And generally speaking how frequent is ghosting? I never knew of a behaviour like this in my mind it’s completely rude and unacceptable but looking around it seems to be a common practice...

Arbus · Accepted Answer

I've been ghosted quite a few times and it still hurts the same.

Yes you should call him out, yes you should make him feel ashamed, yes this behaviour has got to stop. It's like, it's not socially acceptable to litter, or to slap people on the streets, and it shouldn't be acceptable to ghost either. We need an etiquette for the XXI century.

What you should do? Say that ghosting is a shitty and cowardly move. That a real man would never "disapear" he would have the decency to say what he wants and doesn't want. Tell him he's only worth the respect he gives to others.

You may feel that the right thing to do is to stay quiet, don't show that he affected you, but that's wrong. You're not hurt because of "him", you couldn't care less about him, there ar plenty of better guys out there, you simply deserve respect and you call out everyone that doesn't respect you.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

Guys who ghost no it’s hurtful. They don’t care. You wouldn’t be teaching a lesson you’d just be confirming to him that he made the right choice by ghosting you. From his perspective you’re just some random girl your opinion of him will have very little sway on his opinion of himself and his actions. I guess what I’m saying is you are really only hurting yourself right now. He’s a jerk but you’re not in a position to change that at all.

PondyPand · Accepted Answer

It's pretty normal. And to be fair, there's not really any way you can call them out on ghosting. They'll just ignore it. Or you won't be able to message them.

Paris13 · Accepted Answer

My Own Advice as a Master on Here, dear... One Never Knows how it Goes with Someone you have Never Met Yet. xx

Desconhecida · Answer

I can understand what you are feeling. Ghosting is a modern yet crappy behavior people tend to use for lack of balls. They actually disappear or make us wait weeks for a reply until we are the ones to quit.
Then again, there's always a possible harmless explanation about it.
These days social media follows us everywhere that we think everybody is free 24/7. But we are not. And you are gorgeous and seem too charming to be ghosted on purpose.
Give him the benefit of the doubt!

mysticghost · Answer

"Ghosting" has become more prevailent today than it was 20 years ago, but it has always been around, but only named recently. It generally happens when a two people meet briefly, have no common friends, proximity or anything that would bring them together or run across each other regularly. It might have started with good intentions, but after the weekend was over, he found the attraction not to be strong. You most likely had sex with him, and he now feels guilty about it, and can't just tell you it was fun, but it's over now. Instead of telling you this, he cuts off communication and fades away. It happens like this very often when you rush the development of a relationship. The best way to confront him is on the phone or face to face/in person. Texting gives him time to dance around the issue a fine tune a response. Phone calls can be made from any number, making it harder to avoid a verbal confrontation.

Face to face is best, if you care to waste the time and energy to make the point. I would learn from this and take steps to avoid it, as best you can.

Be sure the man you meet is mature and responsible enough to hold an open and tough conversation with you. Ask him questions that make him take a side and defend it. You're not judging his position, but seeing if he has the backbone to tell you what he thinks or feels, even if it is opposed to your views. If he starts on one side, but switches and conforms to your view, he is a likely Ghost candidate. If he can hold his own and talk about something you are opposed to, he probably would not ghost someone. You really don't have to believe something different, just oppose his view to see how he reacts.

blkhermano · Answer

Going off the info you provided I don't see why reaching out to him will be effective as of yet. For one, do you know of his whereabouts? As in, do you know for sure he's not injured, he's not busy with work or a huge family issue?

Secondly, how do you expect to contact him? If he legitimately ghosted you, in what way would he get your message? At what lengths would you go to convey this to him?

Thirdly, if you gave it more time do you still feel it would be worth even contacting him concerning this matter?

I'm presenting these Qs to allow you to think. I've been ghosted before, it didn't feel good, but I realized it made me stronger by not entertaining the hurt feelings and reaching out to the other person to give them a piece of my mind (or a piece of my hurt). Majority of the time (like 99.9%) they wouldn't even care, for if they did they would not have ghosted in the first place. It ends up hurting more when you want to get that out and they show no concern, in fact it makes the matter worse, for who? For you! Not them! They will not lose a wink of sleep. Talk to somebody who would actually listen and care, and use that energy towards something positive.

EvilAngel114 · Answer

The best thing to do is nothing. Calling him out just shows immaturity. If you have already reached out to him and he’s not responding. Then that’s on him. Delete his number and move on. But really if you want to be petty... if he texts back. Then hit him with the “who’s this?” 😂😂

Jon_25 · Answer

Hire three guys to cosplay as the Ghostbusters and visit his place with rented equipment, and pretend to look for a ghost with their machine and then find it's him and try to catch him. Then the box eplodes in slime and they run away cause all their ghosts were set lose in his house! Lol.

Wonderingfool · Answer

Once a girl sent me a message asking me if I thought ghosting was an acceptable way to treat people when I hadn’t messaged back for a couple of days; I had been busy at work and hadn’t replied out of busyness; but it did get a positive response out of me; we went on a couple of dates afterwards

Ellie-V · Answer

Calling someone out isn’t gonna make them care. I mean, they can be aware of your hurt feelings but that doesn’t mean they’ll have remorse. It’s best to leave it alone because you might feel stupid if he still doesn’t respond. And it’s only been two days. It hasn’t even been that long. So just chill and see if he contacts you, if he doesn’t, move on with your life.

Stevepro68 · Answer

I am not sure that not being told what they didn't like about me is any better than being told. So I dont get mad at women that ghost me. The one women who told me why she didn't think it would work is burned inmy mind. the ghost sometimes i forget I even wentout with them

rash_ · Answer

He ask a question and you answered with a question he was expecting a good or a bad answer to know we're he stand up your answer left in wondering but he could have answer you tho try saying something to him if he doesn't answer forget him and move on with your life

Elli_R · Answer

dont mind him, girl. he sounds like he doesn't worth your time, anyway when things like that happen, know that the problem is on them.. and doesn't have anything to do with you!

Anonymous · Answer

Give it another 3 days.. Then send one last text.
So I guess you're ghosting me then? That's really not cool. I didn't think you were like that. Live and learn I guess. I hope you treat people better in the future. Bye

Some chick I ghosted sent me that and it stuck. Haven't done it since.

jmorrow · Answer

The best why to deal with someone ghosting you is to be happy and move on. They aren't worth even given a second thought. And obviously you don't need them in your life.

pookybear123 · Answer

I wouldn’t even waste my breath. Just leave it and carry on 🙂

al46610 · Answer

Send them a picture of a ghost and ask them if they been ghosting lately and ghosting is normally sign they aren't that interested unless they need something. You might want to ghost this guy from the sound of it

outside_Toronto · Answer

It's pretty common. Why call them out? They've already ghosted you; so now you're talking to nobody...…. that just lets your crazy show.
They don't like you... so what. Not everyone will. Just move on

Finchie40 · Answer

Sounds like he used you for a piece , cuz if he really like you he would be calling

jean_A · Answer

Wait? Do guys ghost too? 😑 I thought it was a girls thing..

Anonymous · Answer

Lmao. It’s only been two days. Calm down. He’ll get back to you. Give him some time. Don’t hold it against him.

If you would like, ask him if everything is okay and you hope that he isn’t that immature that he can’t be open and communicative.

I feel you. I was ghosted for a month, then 5 months. All by one person. My advice, drop em like a bad habit.

Penelope_ · Answer

Maybe he was just busy, ask him if he’s been busy lately and if he’s okay?

pitzi · Answer

Just move on and not talk to the person if they come back

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