Can a 21 year old date a 16 year old?

[Anonymous]

Is it okay, it’s my moms friends daughter? I’m 21 and she’s 16

[ChurchOfIron]

They can basically anywhere, as long as you're not having sex. If you are having sex, it depends on the laws where you live. In around 30 states the legal age of consent is 16; so, if you live in such a state, it would be legal to have sex with her. That said, it is also generally frowned on; so, social judgement is definitely on the table with that.

Additionally, ironically, in the states in which it's legal to have sex with 16 year olds, it's still federally illegal to have naked pictures or videos of them: this is qualified as child porn, and you will go to jail for a very long time. Ironically, you can fuck them, but you better not take a naked pic of them.

You're probably better off finding a chick closer to your age. There's also the parents to consider. And also your mom's relationship with her friend might be jeopardized, just because you couldn't keep your dick in check. If you really care about her, you can wait a couple years. But if you just wanna fuck her, keep your dick in check.

[OlderAndWiser]

Depends on where you live. Would you have the consent of her mother?

[Asker]

I’ve known her mom for all of my life since she’s my mom’s friend. She kinda likes the idea

[OlderAndWiser]

Are you in the US? What state?

[Asker]

I will in Sweden 🇸🇪

[Asker]

Live****

[OlderAndWiser]

The age of consent in Sweden is 15 so it does not appear that there is a legal impediment to you dating the girl. That does not mean that it is a great idea but you are the only one who can make that decision.

[SueShe]

There is no objection if you are not into anything sexual.

If you cannot keep your testosterones at a level that keeps you safe, then consider that you will be charged with pedophilia if you are caught or her parents press charge.

Is it really worth having a permanent criminal record and be on the international list of sexual perpetrators?

If it is only to hold hands and look at flowers, then you are safe but I guess that a guy of 21 years of age has other ideas in mind.

[Anonymous]

I believe it might be legal in some areas so check, but... I wouldn't regardless. You guys are at different maturity levels and very different stages in your life, she is going to go through many changes whilst entering adulthood and I don't see it working out long-term.

[Wharvey98]

Morally speaking that’s iffy at best. Legally speaking that depends on where you live. In the United States it varies from state to state. In the UK I’m pretty sure age of consent is 16. Other places I have absolutely no idea. As a general rule I would say no unless she’s reached the age of consent where you live. The age gap isn’t huge, but I still wouldn’t recommend it. She’s not fully matured yet, and its likely to give you some headaches down the road.

[Agirlcalledkill]

In my country (Italy) age of consent is 14 so it's legal. When I was 16 I started dating my current boyfriend who was at the time 22. I think it really depends on the girl. I was pretty mature for my age and got along with his friends straight away, they didn't even believe me when I told them my age. We're still together after 8 years so I guess it worked out pretty well :)

[Thatsamazing]

That's awesome; best of luck to you.

[thealias]

Legally (at least here in the UK), morally? All depends how mature she is, I wouldn't say "no don't do it" but at the same time she is likely to go through a lot of changes in life (higher education, work or whatever) which makes it a pretty poor time to start dating!

[DukeVimes]

This is the perfect answer

[thealias]

@DukeVimes I speak from experience, although there wasn't the same age gap as the OP is mentioning.

[Thatsamazing]

Yeah but people will tell you know because they're dumb. If the people involved like each other and are good to each other and are attracted to each other, then there's nothing wrong with it. 16 is the legal age of consent (as it should be) in most of the U. S. and most of the world.

[Thatsamazing]

Sorry, *people will tell you no

[Justacatlady]

Not really. Although close in age your brains are at different points. Hers is still developing and making new patterns while yours is almost done.
I suggest that if you really care for this person, wait.
It isn’t that long of a time

[Liam_Hayden]

Legally?

Dating without getting sexual, feeling her up, etc. yes.
Dating with intimacy? Depends where you live.

Ethically?

Depends on the maturity level of each of you.

[debi2622]

Still considered statutory rape in most states. Are there no legal aged adult women available?

[debi2622]

Also, things will most likely not end well with the both of you. And then your mom's friendship will be damaged. Not a good idea,

[Rica_ChicaUSA]

To an extent it’s fine. But remember... age is just a number, but jail is just a room too!

[DukeVimes]

In 2 years it would be normal, so it should be fine now. Just make sure to ask her parents for permission to Date her, since they might not think thr same way. Or just wait 2 years lol

[SuperSWC]

depending on the country you live in. the law is different

[Smoothing]

You will find your self behind bars. Wait till she turns 18.

[bangyourhead]

Can you? Depends on the consent laws
Should you? Absolutely not. If you tried that shit with a daughter of mine your ass would be kicked.

[Matt57]

I’d say only if your families are close with each other then it’s fine. That way, her mom knows your behavior and whatnot.

[loveslongnails]

"Can you" ? Sure. Is it wise? No. Wait 2 years till she's 18 and you're 23.

[DWD94]

Depends where you live. In at least half of the U. S, the age of consent is 16-17.

Depends which state you're in.

[Giggletr0n]

Not legally no, age of consent is there and all but you would still be dating a minor.

[Nachowedgie]

Yup it's perfectly fine as long as you don't do anything sexual if she's under the age of consent

[tenukitanuki]

What if you didn't though?

[GuidoThePizzaMaker]

If the parents are ok with it why not?

[Thatsamazing]

Who she dates and is attracted to isn't up to her parents-- it's up to her. Her body is not their property.

[GuidoThePizzaMaker]

You are retarded
She is underaged, that's why she would need permission

[Thatsamazing]

That's nice-- 1) No, she isn't, in most of the world and most of the U. S., and 2) that doesn't have anything to do with the clear and obvious logic of what I said, which is that it's not up to her parents who she likes and finds attractive. Her body is not their property. Get your head out of your ass.

[GuidoThePizzaMaker]

@Thatsamazing haha dude you are so lame. You always write that on my opinions "get your head out of your ass" come up with something else
Also a woman's body isn't her own 😂 that's the dumbest shit ever. That's why women advertise their bodies. They want a man to take it from them 😎
It's up to parents to guide their children. Most parents care about their kids and want what's best for them.

[Thatsamazing]

I wouldn't tell people to get their collective heads out of their collective asses if they didn't need to. Bringing up what people say on other completely unrelated posts is indeed "so lame." Thanks. Everything else ^ you just said is breathtakingly stupid. Reply as you will; whatever. Thank you for wasting everyone's time.

[GuidoThePizzaMaker]

@Thatsamazing everyone, it's just you comment g on my opinions 😂

[ROCKS128]

I guess nope.
She is young.

[Sambelfast34]

Depends on what country your from

[Anonymous]

Legally no
Does she like you?

[Asker]

I’ve known her for years I think she does

[ivanhunterjo]

She’s too young. Wait till she’s legal

[Dav1ss]

No sorry but no

[DizzyDesii]

Wait til she's 18

[JosyJosy]

I guess

[Anonymous]

Nope.

[Aphrodite801]

Creepy af

[Straight_Shooter]

That's pretty creepy

[Thatsamazing]

... No it isn't. Get your head out of your ass.

[Straight_Shooter]

Uh... yes it is pedo

[Thatsamazing]

Uh... no it isn't, moron. Again, get your head out of your ass.

[Straight_Shooter]

That's a sophomore in hs, barely legal to drive. He's 21 hitting the bar scene. That's fucking creepy pedo behavior.

[Thatsamazing]

(squints and pinches the bridge of nose in obvious mental discomfort) Yes... I know that. And it doesn't matter. So he can go to a bar-- uh, so the fuck what? People in other countries can do that at 18. How is the ability to legally drink alcohol something that is like WHOOOA SO IMPORTANT or something? It's not. Sixteen is old enough to know what you want, who you desire, and to be in charge of your own body. And as such, someone is plenty old enough to have a relationship with someone, including someone a little older. You only think it's a big difference because of the time you live in now-- dude, *sixteen is the legal age of sexual consent on most of the planet.* And the places where it isn't are simply full of legislators who are objectively stupid. If two people like each other and are good for each other, it's not other peoples' business. Spare us the rhetoric.

[Straight_Shooter]

5 years is a huge disparity at that age... it's fucking creepy

[Thatsamazing]

Again, no, it isn't, or they wouldn't be interested in each other. It's extremely, extremely normal-- we have simply decided as a society that normal human behavior who doesn't hurt anyone is to be classified as wrong or amoral or "creepy," because everyone loves a good scapegoat in order to feel morally superior. A century ago and back, you wouldn't have even noticed it as anything other than "oh that's nice, good for them;" you only think it's "creepy" because of the times you live in. It's normal human behavior.

[Straight_Shooter]

We'll habe to agree to disagree on this one. Wait until you have a 16 year old daughter and a 21 yr old guy is hitting on her, then you'll truly understand how creepy it is regardless of the legality of it.

[Thatsamazing]

Yeah-- no, I won't, 1) because I don't want to have kids because fuck that, and 2) no, it wouldn't change my opinion of anything. I'm not insane.

[Straight_Shooter]

Whatever dude.

[Straight_Shooter]

You don't know how comforting it is to know you don't want to have kids.

[Thatsamazing]

You don't know how discomforting it is to know that there are still people as irrational, illogical, and dumb as you puttering around out there.

[Straight_Shooter]

I'm just thankful your pedo gene won't propagate.

[Thatsamazing]

Sigh. If you don't have a vasectomy yet, please get one. Don't reproduce any further. We don't need your stupid any further to infect the population.

[Straight_Shooter]

It's too late, my seed has been spread lol

[Thatsamazing]

Judging by the way you answered previously, I can only shake my head in shame and wonder that that is the case.

[Straight_Shooter]

Do you think any age gap is too much for a 16 yr old girl? Is it ok for a 40 yr old guy to date a 16 yr old in your mind?

[Thatsamazing]

I don't care. What's the magical difference between someone 40 and someone 18? A year and a half? Two years? Less? There isn't anything magical about the age of 18. It's not like someone sprinkles pixie dust on someone at midnight on their 18th birthday where it's like oh NOW you can decide who you want to have sex with, where only five minutes ago you were still a little kid! Yay! Um... no, that's dumb. Anyway, 40 and 16 basically doesn't happen, so you're making up a scenario that isn't relevant. 21 and 16 is common. Get over it.

[Straight_Shooter]

Then let's go the other direction. What's so magical about 16 instead of 14? Or 12? Or 10? Really any age you pick is arbitrary.

[Thatsamazing]

Uh 12 year olds and 10 year olds haven't even reached puberty yet. People who are 16 have, and are physically sexually mature. You know that. Stop asking dumb questions.

[Straight_Shooter]

My daughter got her period when she was 11. So she would have been fair game to you since she reached puberty?

[Thatsamazing]

No, puberty is more complicated, and takes a longer time, than first menstruation. You know that. Or, never mind, maybe you don't, since you continue to ask stupid questions. Let me instead ask you a far more relevant one-- is it acceptable to you, as someone who thinks that the Roman calendar should be the end-all-be-all of our lives, for someone who is 18 to date/have sex with someone who is 21? Or is that also, somehow, "creepy?"

[Straight_Shooter]

I think that's ok, but not because she's 18. I think it's ok because the age difference isn't as great and the maturity level of an 18 yr old girl is far above a 16 yr old girl in general.

[Straight_Shooter]

You are way over estimating the maturity of 16 yr olds.

[Thatsamazing]

Hahaha okay man. Sure it is.

Except, no, it isn't-- you only think it is because you have 18 in your head as some magical forcefield barrier, which is not logical or true. So, great, you're saying at the stroke of midnight on their eighteenth birthday can reasonably date someone twenty-one, and that that's somehow fine, or whatever, but the day before when the younger party was 17 and 364 days old, rather than 17 and 365 days old, that's "creepy." Or something.

Okay champ. Good one.

[Straight_Shooter]

You seem to be focused on the calendar, not me. I have no problem with an 18 yr old dating a 16 yr old so the fact that she's 16 isn't the issue for me although you keep beating that drum.

[Thatsamazing]

Um... what? No, the question of the post ^ right up there-- see it up there?-- is "21" and "16." Not "18" and "16." What are you talking about? The point I'm making, which is correct, is that maturity (which you're somehow obsessed with as though you personally get to determine who is and isn't "mature") is *determined by the individual and not contingent on the stroke of midnight on your eighteenth birthday.* And based on what you're saying, you think that a date on a calendar determines whether someone is mature and allowed to decide who they want to date or not, not their individual personality. And that's irrational and dumb. I don't know what's complicated here.

[Straight_Shooter]

Read my posts... never once did I link anything to a date on a calendar. That's all you telling me what you think I'm thinking.

I'd like to ask you something and I'm not trying to insult you with this question, I'm just trying to understand your frame of reference. Do you live on your own or with your parents? I'm only asking because it's not unusual these days for people in their 20s to live in their parents home.

[Thatsamazing]

I'd like to ask you something-- do you know how to stay on topic?

[Straight_Shooter]

Ok... so you live with your parents. That explains why you think a 16 yr old girl is mature enough to date a 21 yr old guy. You haven't grown up yet so you don't notice a 16 yr old girl's immaturity.

[Thatsamazing]

Sure, I live with my parents. And my aunts and uncles and cousins and grandparents and my best friend and his dog Greaso and I live in a basement AND an attic at the same time; I'm also fifteen years old. And I'm fifty. And I'm the gayest gay who has ever gayed. I'm also completely straight. I'm rich as fuck. And I'm completely broke. I wear spandex bodysuits to bed and cradle teddybears all night long also I'm a heroin user and I'm a religious atheist who practices Islam.

What the hell are you talking about? Anything else?

[Straight_Shooter]

Trigger much? 😂

[Thatsamazing]

Stupid much? You're using emojis now? I thought you were the arbiter of maturity.

Yawn. You're a waste of my time. Reply however you want; I won't read it. Learn some things, please. Read a book, whatever.

[Straight_Shooter]

Tell mommy and daddy I said hello 😉

[Straight_Shooter]

by the way, thanks for admitting defeat by walking away.

[CT_CD]

Yes..