What race would you not date?

[chris_987]

Let’s see who’s brave enough to answer this question!

https://youtu.be/DlWlTNljkJs

Got the ideas from this guys video

White

Black

Hispanic

Asian

European

Updates

+1 y

Everyone is acting like not dating someone because of there race isn’t racist but if you where talking to some with the lights of and you never knew there race, but you start get along with there person and felt they where the one for you, but when the lights came on and you saw there race you immediately rejected them, how would you not be racist? Lol that’s was actually from a reality show called dating in the dark.

Updates

+1 y

Everyone is acting like not dating someone because of there race isn’t racist but if you where talking to some with the lights of and you never knew there race, but you start get along with there person and felt they where the one for you, but when the lights came on and you saw there race you immediately rejected them, how would you not be racist? Lol that’s was actually from a reality show called dating in the dark.

[fashionguy17]

The amount of people saying they wouldn't date black people is alarming. I'm black. I'm educated. A business owner. Dress nice. Speak well. I can go on and on. I'm not hood at all, and not all black people are hood.

The media tends to portray black people in a negative light and it's not an accurate representation of black people at all. However, I digress.

As far as race is concerned... I would date anyone. I'm not picky. When I was younger, I used to live in Maine and I was the only black person in all my classes up until high school. I could never meet quality women and the only ones that seemed to like me were the fat white women. When I moved to Texas, that all changed.

Out here in Texas, I have been on dates with white women, Hispanic women, Indian women, black women, etc.. My current girlfriend is black. She is doing social work and getting her Masters.

That was a bit long... but it does get annoying when I see and here that black people get bashed in the dating world. It's especially worse when it's members of your own race.

Hell... I remember before I dated my girlfriend, I used to see this kind of thing on dating app:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5nKwiPJSsJg

[demonics]

You gonna make people date you? lol Suck it up buttercup.

[invalid1]

I am just here reading comments. For those some who are using the "bathing" excuse. I didn't know you actually live in the bathrooms of every other race's house. Hygiene is related to economic status and class. There are very hygienic people in every race. You stupid turds.

I didn't vote because I would date any girl from different race if sh reaches my personal standards.

[Bensbrie]

I'm married now to a Chinese man, but I generally wouldn't have dated black men. Not because all black men are thugs or something crude like that, I'm half black after all. But my dad is black, and I didn't have a good image of him so much throughout my life and the way he treated my mom is a big part of that. Also, I was sexually harassed by an African American boy in middle school and picked on by some growing up. My experiences killed any desire I could feel for an African American man besides friendship. Friendship is as far as I would go with them.

[chris_987]

That’s a legit reason. People are just saying I don’t like a specific skin colour and then say their not racist. Judging someone based on colour is what makes you racist

[Bensbrie]

Ya buddy. I mean it's not that I have never seen an attractive black man, I have. I like my friend Johnathan, who is African American, as a friend but he also happens to be attractive, but even before I got married, I dont feel like I could be with a black man as well because if I married him I would have a very hard time with the intimacy and closeness department. I walked in on my dad while he was in the bath once... never again do I want to see what I saw..

[chris_987]

Umm what did you see, because I can imagine a naked black man is any different from a naked man of any other race

[Bensbrie]

It was my dad for Pete's sake! What does race have to do with it? Do you like seeing your parents naked? I didn't think you would! It's somewhat disturbing! But why are you going out and calling people racist, doesn't seem very nice to me. You are better than that. Why does it always have to be about race? We are all one race. The human race. Just different ethnicities. I wouldn't want to see a random man naked regardless of his race, but especially not my father! Its grody!

[Bensbrie]

I still can't believe you asked what I saw. I thought it would be obvious!

[chris_987]

I call people racist because if a white person did the same thing we would call it racist, all I’m doing is exposing how hypocritical we all are. So no I don’t feel bad for calling people racist if they would call a white person racist for doing the exact same thing. I’m not a bad person just treating people equal but it take them time realize they are wrong.

[Bensbrie]

Two wrongs dont make a right sweetie. If a person calls someone a curse word to show them the error of their ways how will that help, that makes them essentially the same. An eye for an eye is not the way to go. Say someone kills my family member and it causes me great pain, should I kill one of that person's family member to make them feel what I felt to show them that what they did is wrong? No. There is a proper way to go about things. Not everyone is racist. I've experienced racism. Everyone has preferences that are effected by numerous internal and external factors. Culture, ethnicity, age, gender, up bringing, education, social interactions and so on all play a part in shaping people perspectives. If a white man doesn't like a black girl because he likes Hispanic women or white women, that's his choice. If a black man likes only black women or white women, that's his choice. It's when we have prejudice against a certain group of people that things are racist. If I couldn't date black men because of my negative experiences or I just dont fancy them, that's not racism. Racism is if I said I dont like black men because they all wear baggy pants and do drugs and are dead beat dads. I literally had a boy who happened to be caucasian say I was ugly because I'm mixed, that's racism, and it's his decision to say that, but I'm not going to call him a racist even though his actions are racist, because I'm not going to attach that to his identity, I may dislike his actions, but I have to remember that he was probably raised to be like that. I have to let it go and forgive him.

[chris_987]

That good that you think like that but remember black men where killed because white women said they raped them, and the white people around them believe her even when there was no evidence, not only because they where racist but because they believe every negative stereotype about black men that they made up. So you can live you life being afraid to call people out in there bad behaviour, but brave people like me will show them there error of there thinking because if I don’t they will believe the lie and people will die because no one called them out on there bull shit.

And you might think that an extreme example but every racist believe they are not racist, whether it’s black peoples that say they don’t like white skin or nazi saying they don’t like Jewish people it’s all based on race and hating some based on there skin colour makes as much sense as hating someone based on there eye colour. The same genetic mutation determines both. But no one says I wouldn’t date a person with green eyes. Sorry for the long rant I just hope I made myself clear and why I think judging someone based of skin colour is wrong and small minded.

[Bensbrie]

I never said that judging someone based on their skin isn't wrong. But there are people who do things like MLKJ and Malcom X, we can chose the way we confront people. Confront people in a way that shows consideration and is honorable. You can assume I'm afraid of calling people out and assume that what you do is brave. But in reality, if I confront someone I'm going to chose to do it in the way I believe is right, appeal to people's better nature, reach out to their soul and touch their heart, not call them names. Are people wrong at times? Yes. Have people done evil things? Yes. Black people weren't the first slaves. There have been slaves for thousands of years of all colors. Even native American people have had it rough. Wrong is wrong and right is right no matter who does it. But MLKJ won people over because he protested with dignity, with passion, but was also not aggressive. Aggression and stating our opinions dont win people, being kind and having endurance to do whatever it takes does. Work smarter, not harder is a good quote. Because its important to think about how we are going to communicate our ideas before we communicate them so that people can connect to our thoughts and ideas and think about what they believe. Telling people they are wrong won't simply change things. Yes we have all been wrong and hypocrites at some point, and I'm sure many people know that too, while some dont. How do you or I know that they do or dont know they are wrong?

[chris_987]

Umm well you know they don’t their wrong because they feel justified by doing violence against people who they feel are racist. Let’s use the trump support thing as and example. When Obama won conservative complained but they never march or used violence to show how upset they where that there side lost. But fast forward to when trump won, the liberal felt that they were justified in marching using violence to solve there problems, why because they felt like a grave injustice had taken place and it’s there right to solve it. Now what would you do in this situation to show liberals that it’s hypocritical to attack people and called them racist simply because your side lost, because when Obama the conservative weren’t this violent towards you? How would show someone that they are brainwashed into believing they are better than the other side? Are you gonna simply talk to them peacefully when they are ready to attack you and beat you up? Kinda hard to do that if they see you as the enemy and feel that your not allowed to talk. I still feel my way is better, if you can get someone to see that they are just as bad as the people they are fighting against they will hopefully see the error of their ways, and want to change.

[Bensbrie]

Trying to change someone's mind is difficult, aiming to reach out to them as a person and impact their heart can be more helpful. There is a saying that people may forget what you said, but they will always remember how you made them feel. People are more convinced when you strike at the core of something but do it in a way that leaves an impression, and only appealing to a person through aggressive mental means won't work in the long run. Even if things dont go our way, or people disagree, we should always think about how we want to communicate our beliefs, ideas, and feelings. There is always going to be someone who disagrees, but if we want to make a positive and lasting impact we can't just do what the "liberal" side does. Doing the same thing as them, how does that make us different? How does that make a lasting impression.

[chris_987]

You still haven’t answered my question on how you will show someone who think they are right, that they are in fact wrong. Listen I’m a Christian so my highest goal is to be like Christ and he didn’t play around with hypocrites. He never showed compassion toward them he showed exactly why they where hypocrites and it made them angry to the point where they killed him. Which was to prove a point, that mankind is flawed and the moment we start thinking ourselves better than someone else we’ve lost the true meaning of life. So unless you tell me how I should handle hypocrites, then I really don’t see how you can make people see why there wrong.

Also you have to remember that I’m a man so I’m gonna do things differently from how a girls does things. Like a mother you will let you daughter strip or sell her body and still be kind towards her because it’s in a woman’s nature to show compassion before correction, but it’s almost always the man that has to exercise discipline. Neither parents wrong it’s just how we operate within our genders. So think about that next time you try to tell a man how he should treat people because chances your comparing him to how women treat each other. Which has nothing to do with tough love.

[Bensbrie]

Um friend, for one thing you can challenge people's beliefs by bringing up points they may have not thought of, by first learning as much as you can about their beliefs and then considering the words to use to challenge their beliefs in a respectful manner. Say a woman believes in abortion. Ask her why? When did she start believing this way? What would make her believe differently? By learning about a person you can learn how best to deal with challenging skewed views of thinking in an understanding way. Also, you assume some things about women that aren't entirely true. Each man is different and each woman is different, parenting styles differ significantly based on numerous factors of age, ethnicity, culture, religious beliefs, and so on. No I would not let my daughter strip or sell herself and I would tell her I dont approve if she was an adult woman who did that, but I would tell her I still love her and she is my baby and I would tell her she is better than that and I raised her to know that she is valuable and beautiful and doesn't need to do this. I'd probably pray for her too! And just because I'm not a man doesn't mean I can't understand a mans perspective if I'm told about it. Also, my husband is more of the spoiling type and I am more inclined to discipline since he was an only child and doesn't have a lot of experience with children. I was the oldest child and have lots of experience with children. I know how to dote on children and reprimand. Thank you.

[chris_987]

So I’m confused why are you telling me I shouldn’t reprimand people if your a disciplinarian? If you agree that lack discipline leads to someone being spoiled why are you tell me I shouldn’t tell people they are wrong? That does make sense to me.

[Bensbrie]

I am not an authoritarian, I am authoritative. These people aren't your children, you can't just go around telling everyone that they are wrong. Even if they are wrong, you have to go about it a certain way, otherwise it's like you are shooting a brick wall with a bb gun, it's not going to budge. You aren't their father, so how can you try to discipline grown people... engage in conversation, see their side and assert yours in a respectful manner. I'm sure you aren't a bad person, maybe you have good intentions, but treating people like they need you to tell them they are wrong is a somewhat arrogant action. Sure they may be wrong, but talk with them about it and listen to them. Dont just call them names and keep telling them they are wrong. That's not even effective with children, especially if you want healthy and positive results.

[chris_987]

Ok let’s brake this down and see which say is correct. In life you have leadership roles right and when there order there is a certain level of leadership and respect right? So disabling

[chris_987]

Discipline can be show if you feel like you are over someone and know what’s best for them, again you have to look at the bible to see how they handled hypocrites and they did the same thing I did shown them why they where hypocrites and tell them to repent, there was no reasoning with them trying to get them to feel compassion, no. It was your wrong because god said so and it’s up to you to change. You can reason with people who have hate in there hearts but not me.

[Bensbrie]

Hon, that's my point you said that discipline can be shown if you feel like you are over someone and know what's best for them. I think you are taking the Bible out of context. You aren't Jesus honey, and for the most part Jesus was compassionate. It was usually that only with the highly "religious" saducees and pharisees that he called out on their hypocrisy and such. You may feel like you are over people and know what's best for them, but that's not your call honestly. We are called to love others, and correcting people should be done in a certain manner, with humility. Jesus was big on humility, and going around telling people they are wrong and racist is not humility.

[chris_987]

Ok I can argue the bible all day, but I won’t so just answer me this, if white people move out of a community because they’re are too many black people moving in, is that racist? And if black people move out of a community because there are too many Indians moving in is that racist? Too me both situations are racist and you should be allowed to say that, bad what do you think.

[Bensbrie]

Guess what, even if it's wrong. It doesn't give either of us the right to go up to them and say, "shame on you, how dare you do something so racist!". Instead if you got the opportunity to talk to them you should ask them why they did it and why they thought it was okay and how would they like it if someone did that to them ot excluded them merely because of their skin color. You can ask questions without being rude. It is 100 percent possible to challenge people in a way that is respectful and honorable. I'm not perfect and I dont know everything, just like no one else does, but I know that to be Christ like is to be humble and we should approach these situations with humility and at least try to ask them why they do something, because calling people out on their stuff isn't going to make a difference, getting to the core behind their actions will help more. I'm a psychology student, and while I dony know every study and every result and I'm still just a student, I have learned things about people and behavior from it. The way we communicate is critical and if we are rude to people they will not open up to us and if they dont open up to us we can't help change things

[chris_987]

It’s is possible that you are right and I am right. We’re not all the same so some people will gravitate towards a more direct approach and some people will appreciate a passive approach. God made us all different and he can use us all to change a persons mind. So yeah That’s what I think.

[Fuentes]

THEM* as if blacks aren't normal people kick rocks

[Bensbrie]

@Fuentes what are you talking about?

[Fuentes]

You called blacks them

[Bensbrie]

@Fuentes as you know I said African American first a couple of times, then I used the pronoun them to take the place of the noun African americans. Do you expect me to refer to a group of people as African American every single time. Them is referring to African American males. I have friends who are African American and I am African American if you consider my birth certificate because my father is black... like dude. Honey, are you serious? Every time I talk about my husband do I have to say Ben? No... I say he sometimes when its appropriate.. I am literally half black, so, what's the problem friend?

[Bensbrie]

@Fuentes I mean honey, you can make this a big deal if you want and say it's about race or something, but first of all, it's not, second of all, how could I be racist against myself and half my family, like bro.. it's not a big deal and it's not meant the way you are taking. If you want to make it a big deal, go ahead, but I dont want to be a part of any drama or stuff. I like to keep that out of my life as much as I am able. Thanks though hon for responding.

[Fuentes]

My problem is you calling Blacks African were not African

[Bensbrie]

@Fuentes dude, I'm sorry it bothers you but I am African American and it does not bother me. If it bothers you I hope you have a nice day, but I'm not going to argue with you about it. If you want to argue, count me out.

[Fuentes]

You're Black not African prove to me your ancestors were African i bet you can't

[Bensbrie]

@Fuentes I'm not doing this. Have a nice day hon.

[Fuentes]

@jonesjessica812 she's delusional

[Bensbrie]

@jonesjessica812 Haha nice joke! No, I don't hate myself, but you are free to think that! Lol. Have a blessed day and thanks for the joke!

[Bensbrie]

@Fuentes Haha, whatever you say honey. Have a blessed day.

[Bensbrie]

@jonesjessica812 p. s. have you ever been to China? I have. They were very nice. You can generalize over a billion people if you want but it doesn't work. I'm fine being black and white. doesn't bother me one bit. If I have my reasons for not wanting to marry an African American man because I watched for years how my dad treated my mom, who is white, that's my choice. I will be friends with black men all I wish. But I'm married now and I'm not going back. You can call me fat as you wish, that's your choice. But I'm beautiful and God loves me and my husband loves me and I have friend and family who love me and that's enough for me. God loves you too and I wish the best for you! Bye bye hon.

[Anonymous]

I mostly stick to white guys. I guess just because of cultural differences with other races. In my experience Black and Hispanic guys are too aggressive and extra. Like they always have to put up a front. Some girls may like that. Its just not for me. Asain culture also tends to be very unlike my own. Even if I clicked with the guy Id worry about his family accepting me.

[BananaRed]

This is true for me but not on purpose. I am open to other races. It just never happened

[BananaRed]

yea I have never tried anything else either. There are hispanics and middle easterns that I would say are not really brown. Black hair with almost a white skin tone.

[BananaRed]

There is also Sao Paulo Brazil. A little bit of olive is fine. Something close

[SuperManiac]

I genuinely don't have any. I find attractive ones in every single category you listed.

Culture, maybe. For example, I might have difficulty dating someone from a certain culture who can't speak any language I can understand.

But that could any race. There could a white woman who can't speak English, for example.

[SuperManiac]

[...] But that could [be] any race. [...]

[Neeceeb7]

Probably any race that the men tend to be smaller so mostly Asian types of cultures. Women I'm pretty open. But a man needs to be taller then me and prefer football linebacker build

[BananaRed]

opposite for me. I prefer slender. Even a swimmer's body is just too much

[Sipubis]

Is it true that white women only date rich non white mens.

[Anonymous]

Daaaaamn. Y'all racist as fuck lol just kiddingI've dated black girls but I would never date them again because I've mostly had bad experience with them. I was engaged to one actually but we broke it off because the family was racist towards me. They judged me for my light skin. People have their preferences and black people stick with their stereotypes. Not all of them and they break off of that mold. It's really sad because I've met black people who are successful and left the hood and the ghetto lifestyle but their community bring them down a lot like look at Ben Carson, Condoleeza Rice or Black supporters of Trump they get "Cancelled" from their own kind because their not "black" enough. Y'all need to get yourself together.

[Pinky_what_why]

Well I don't judge but I don't know about white guys tbh.

[chris_987]

Lol you don’t like white skin?

[Pinky_what_why]

I don't know if I would find them good looking but I open to anyone tbh.

[chris_987]

You don’t know if you would find white skin good looking?

[Pinky_what_why]

OMG that should so bad but I don't know if I would be interested but I would give it a shot.

[chris_987]

It’s does sound bad but it because you think white skin makes a person different

[Pinky_what_why]

Sorry it's just some people are racist and it tend to be white people no offense at all. That's why I second guess but if they don't seem like a racist person and actually cool etc I would give them a chance as I said I don't judge by skin color that's why I did not vote I just commented

[chris_987]

I think everyone is racist, we judge everyone based on there looks. It’s definitely not something only white people do.

[Pinky_what_why]

That's true tbh I see ur point

[chris_987]

Yeah I don’t why a lot girls think skin colour makes a difference, cause a lot of guys find all races attractive

[Pinky_what_why]

Ok cool

[Sipubis]

Stop dating non white mens for their money

[menina]

European counts as "white".
I wouldn't date an Asian guy. I'm not attracted to them and Asians are usually very racist.

[jonesjessica812]

Are you white or latin

[menina]

@jonesjessica812 No, I'm black.

[jonesjessica812]

Okay I'm judge wondering because they probably dont judge anybody who doesn't have dark skin

[menina]

@jonesjessica812 That's true. They love white people and hate anyone who has dark skin.

[jonesjessica812]

Its cool, I dont feel anything for them. They have the worst bodies

[menina]

@jonesjessica812 I don't feel anything for them either.

[menina]

@ the update : That show is creepy and deceiving! I would never sign up for a show like that.

[thegirlfromthething]

None. If I find someone attractive and we’re compatible I’ll want to date him regardless of race. I don’t want to limit my options over something that trivial.

[chris_987]

Congrats your not racist

[thegirlfromthething]

*You’re
And thanks.

[chris_987]

But unfortunately you still a grammar nazi

[thegirlfromthething]

I don’t usually correct people’s grammar.

[chris_987]

You definitely shouldn’t especially if your not proof reading an English essay

[thegirlfromthething]

It’s a useful tip that everyone should know. You don’t want to embarrass yourself on a job application or something.

[chris_987]

Type a job letter and reply to some on you phone is too different things, I never understood why people care so much about grammar on a device that autocorrects you even when you spell something right. So it’s seem so childish to me.

[thegirlfromthething]

I care about using the right words. That’s my pet peeve. We all have them even if they’re inconsequential to others.

[chris_987]

Ok but I don’t care so when you correct me it just comes of as some who cares too much, like the nazis

[thegirlfromthething]

This was more of a Horace Mann kind of caring.

[chris_987]

Ok don’t know what that means

[DWornock]

There is less variability within any race than the average difference between any two races. Therefore, there is no race I would not date if I could date some of the most desirable within that race. It is only that some races have a higher percentage of girls that I would date than other races.

[Reaperbot666]

I am open to dating or being in a relationship with a woman from any race or skin tone. so long as she has a good personality and we get along well.

[MajesticTwelve]

I date only white typically. It's the culture differences.
I've tried to date 2 Asians (JPN and KOR), a hispanic, etc.
Never jives.

[Dongtai]

This is a horrible way to assume the culture of a group. Japanese and Korean culture aren’t the same. Yes they’re both in Asia but it’s like comparing Canadians and Americans. They’re not all the same.

[MajesticTwelve]

@Dongtai You're right, Canada... yuck.

[Dongtai]

You don’t like Canada? Dude I went last summer. Amazing. The people are cool but honestly they weren’t that different from Americans

[MajesticTwelve]

@Dongtai I've been there a few times.
I think we should invade them. Forget buying Greenland. Annex the snow monkeys.

[BananaRed]

Same here I would like to try something other than white.
I have been friends with other nationalities. I am out of college now but I met a lot of Ricky Martin types. Something very close to white. They were mostly hispanic and middle easterns. Places like Brazilian, Jordanians etc A lot of gorgeous men.

I have heard a lot about Asian/white guys.
I might have to go to Cali. I have never been to Cali

[BananaRed]

uh It does not let me edit my comments here.
I mean a guy who would be half Asian and half white

[Sipubis]

You dated them for money

[ariadneR]

All races. To me it doesn't matter what race you are.

[Dongtai]

Why isn’t there an option for “it doesn’t matter”? I’d date a woman from any origin. Beauty is beauty.

[SkipStop]

Asian and Hispanic are not my type. But I'm not planning to date anyone anyway.

[irishsong]

I'd date anyone I find personally and physically attractive regardless their race.
but I wouldn't date a muslim

[Xlink]

White and European are the same to me.
I don't believe in interraical I bearly tolerate white people as it is.
The closest I'll go is mulatto chicks but that's weird to me as well since they have devil blood in them

[Anonymous]

Indians I feel horrible saying this but whenever I am around an Indian they have this smell that smells gross to me

[chris_987]

It’s ok to discriminate, just sad that people don’t think they discriminate against large groups of people, I’m just here to show you that everyone does it.

[Opinion Owner]

I don't mean to discriminate I'm very sensitive to spell Indians are in no way bad people they can be some of the most friendly talkive people ever it's just that spell I'm not sure if it is something they have eaten that I am smelling

[chris_987]

They don’t bathe as often and they eat a lot of spices, also they aren’t used to indoor plumbing so they all share the same rag to wipe themselves when they shit. But all that stuff could change if they where with someone with a different hygiene

[Poormanscomedian]

like a elephant's butt?

[Anonymous]

Everyone has preferences, but why cut ANYbody out if you find a person who's wonderful in an unexpected outer shell? As long as you;re deeply drawn to someone, it's a go.

[chris_987]

It’s unexpected because of there prejudice, why are they put all these expectations on someone’s skin colour

[Opinion Owner]

It might be unexpected because of their neighborhood, or schools, or groups, or church. If you're negatively prejudiced against particular groups, well, it's not gonna happen.

[chris_987]

There still prejudging them based on their past. We don’t allow police to prejudge someone so why do we think it’s ok for us?

[Opinion Owner]

It's about not having had contact with anyone from particular groups and so not being used to knowing, being with, experiencing someone who looks, sounds different than your ordinary group of friends, associates. I think it's very human and ordinary. We're not cops.

[chris_987]

So skin colour makes us different?

[Opinion Owner]

Not as humans, but could be we were raised and socialized differently. This is why it's good to intereact with many different people from childhood on. Opens you to many interesting experiences.

[chris_987]

So the people who don’t date other races or cultures aren’t open to different people because they haven’t traveled?

[Opinion Owner]

Not necessarily. This is a very diverse country in cities. But if you don't go to school with or interact with people from different backgrounds, you may have preconceived notions about their cultures, religions etc. This might make you reticent. Some Neanderthals interbred with Homo Sapiens because they were neighbors. They got to know each other. The ones who didn't died out with no DNA markers of such interaction left.

[chris_987]

Makes scene lol

[sweet87]

We're all part of the human race so I would date anyone from any culture, as long as they are a good person.

[kinetic198336]

I'm just not attracted to black women. I have no problem being friends but I want nothing to do with them romantically.

[Sipubis]

But white womens are using black mens as SX toys

[AdamSpaghetti]

I'm lucky to be attracted to all kinds of women.
If she's cute and willing I'll give her a go.

[Avicenna]

None. It's hard enough to find the right person as it is without excluding women based on things other than personality and character.