Should I stop calling and texting her?

It's bothering me that she never contacts me first, and that ever since I've met her, up until our most recent date, I've always been the one to contact her. So I was thinking that I need to change my behavior to let her know I don't like it, because going on like this is not going to make me happy.

Should I stop calling and texting her until she eventually contacts me, or should I send her a text saying, "hey you know I've noticed I'm always the one contacting you, why is it like that?"

I haven't talked to her in two days, I've contacted her a few days ago and she kept it short, and I'll be leaving on holiday soon so I won't be able to plan any dates in a while, which is what made me think she was interested in me initially (agreeing to go out together). But now that there are no plans she's short in her responses, though still friendly, and I need to let her know I don't like this.


Most Helpful Girl

  • This is a tough one! The guy I like always starts the conversations and recently he hasn't been speaking to me, but I don't want to start the conversation in case I look too keen. As frustrating as it can feel, maybe you should continue in making the effort with starting the conversation. Maybe just send her a message inviting her out before you go on holiday. Girls respond well to guys making the effort to see them and contact them! As for letting her know you don't like it, I'd hold off because it may put her off! I know it sucks always making the effort all the time but the more effort a guy puts in, the more a girl will respond and start making the effort too! Good luck

    • really? I'm in the same situation jus dnt wanna annoy the girl by bein first always

    • Show All
    • I know I'm 10 months.. But please.. just stop. How the hell were you so paranoid to look clingy and desperate, when you're the one who leaves it to the guy to initiate everything? Ughh, these behaviors annoy me. I hate always initiating first and feeling like they are entitled to be treated like princesses.

    • Lol whatever, I don't expect to be treated like a princess, in fact I was the one who took my now boyfriend on our first date. I was simply stating some women do have insecurities and don't like making the first move. I wasn't saying men always had to make the moves, simply stating some women are uneasy with initiating conversation with the men they like. Jeez.

Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 2

  • She's not interested.

    It's as simple as that. Sorry for the bluntness, but she's doing what I do...which is trying to disconnect oneself with someone without being mean.

    That's why she's still being friendly, but not ever texting you first.

    I say move on to a girl who finds you cool and likes you for who you are =]

  • She isn't interested in being more than friends if you have been giving her those signs.

    Either stop contacting her and maybe she'll contact you.


    Tell her how you feel.


What Guys Said 1

  • As a professional dating coach I'd like to help you out here with how to text flirt:

    Look, whether you like it or not, men have been chasing women for hundreds of thousands of years so don't expect it to change soon. In other words, women won't come to you when you do nothing. You need to take action to "get the girl", and that includes when you try and text flirt.

    As some women have already said: they want to contact you first but often don't because they don't want to come across like they're desperate when they text flirt (or in any other situation for that matter).

    And asking why you always have to contact her first is only showing that YOU are desperate. Because what's a girl supposed to answer: "ok OK my turn! But tomorrow it's your turn!" I don't think so.

    So, you should be the one contacting her the most and taking action the most. Having said that, you should also look into how to text flirt and create attraction. Who knows, maybe she doesn't respond that often or contact you first because you're doing something wrong.

    And if you need help with attraction and how to text flirt, then do check out a ton of examples of how to text flirt (and some do's and don'ts) I've prepared for you on my blog!