How do you find a girl to date in a small town?

[Anonymous]

the place i live isn't actually that " small " when you think of a small town , its still big enough to have a wal mart , hospital , high school , several gyms , numerous restaurants and a small mall although its mostly empty ( does still have a grocery store and dollar store in it ).

in terms of dating this place is the pits , one of the worst places to try and meet someone new. the only girls i seem to meet are young women who works at restaurants but already have boyfriends who seem to enjoy meeting me but are unwilling to do anything. i've been to the gym a few times but yet to meet anyone there , only girl i talked to worked at the front desk.

i suppose there is single women who go to other places in this town and perhaps i just haven't meet them. in terms of online , generally isn't a lot of profiles from this area on major dating sites whenever i checked them in the past. there is usually more single men looking to date here than women , so the odds aren't very good

Updates

+1 y

though the "long game " would work here if i got to know them and would eventually date one of them but it didn't , the girls seem to be with the same guy years later, or they moved away , or i lost interest or some other reason

Updates

+1 y

i'll update or PM if i come up with any new ideas or anything else happens on this front. the winter isn't really a good time to date here , people don't go out much and is less people here period.

[Avicenna]

What about an hour's drive away?

[Asker]

there is some rural areas with even less people , there are some smaller cities to the south , but at an hour drive each way , not sure if there'd be any practical options there

[Avicenna]

You have to go where the women are, and they are more likely to be found in urban areas than rural ones, which are boring for them.

[Avicenna]

Women around your age in rural areas are usually paired up, so you need to look further afield.

[Asker]

true i can recall some women that i meet here in years past , many seem to have relocated to other areas by now , some have moved to the big city which is 2 hours away , but i don't think dating a girl from the big city is a likely or realistic option for me at this time , need to come up with an option that is realistic , close by and attainable

[Avicenna]

You can DM me if you want some further advice. I understand the dilemma, but if they ain't there, they ain't there.

[Asker]

true many girls that i know here already have bf's or married , some were married long ago. its never been an area with many options in terms of women. despite the fact there were a lot of girls here when i went to high school , a lot of girls have passed through there but they seem to drift away or if there still around simply aren't available

[Avicenna]

Exactly

[Asker]

our high school has had too much of a focus on preparing women for university not for the local job market , preparing them for university usually means they leave town once they have a degree.

but i get what your saying if there aren't many local options there isn't a lot i can do to fix that and i need to come up with another plan

[Asker]

whatever i do about this , it has to be practical in terms of my life and financial abilities , dating someone an hour away may not be impossible but you have to put into account additional expenses for travel and so on. and the reality a solution to this problem needs to fit into my current life

[Avicenna]

Understood, but if the women aren't there where you live, you need to be flexible.

[Asker]

the other day i saw one of the girls who had a boyfriend that i meet through her work at a restaurant , not sure what to make of her , still feel like she was interested , perhaps she didn't know what to do about me at the time
also at the gym , still feel like there might be some options there , although its a tough gym to meet people as its concept is about being open 24hrs and crowd tends to pretty random when you go there , often don't see the same people much. and most of the women i see there , often know very little about them or who is single or married. one lady who is often there is married to the owner of a sports bar here but a lot of the other women i don't know much about them and its hard to find anything out based on knowing so little about them , other than we go to the same gym

[Avicenna]

If you don't know whether they're single, you can talk to them.. Gyms are tricky places to talk to women though.

[Asker]

there are still women here but i agree when your dealing with the reality of such a small pool of single women in my immediate area , you need to keep an open mind to other options , i tried to check POF dating site to see how many members they had here but it won't let you see the site anymore unless your a member , but i know in the past there was maybe a couple pages of active users my age , might of been a bunch more who were older but if you were to check a larger city there might be 100's of users

i though the girl who worked at the gym might be an option ( had meet her earlier this year when she worked at a restaurant ) but feel she might be more comfortable if we were just friends for the time being , i notice she likes to talk to pretty much everyone at the gym , so need to be careful not to misread things

[Avicenna]

You're probably right about her

[Asker]

most at that gym i see so randomly i wouldn't even know what to say to them , most of the women who go there i've only seen 1 once and i've been there 5 or 6 times now. its very random , you think being a small town it be a lot of the same people. 2 younger women who i'd describe as attractive where there with there boyfriends , not girls i had seen here before and knew nothing about them.

its weird our pub downtown tends to be a lot of the same people , everyone tends to know each other or at least a little bit , not entirely strangers. but that gym is just very random , especially for this town. there is a couple other small gyms in this area but i don't know much about them and never been a member of them , the gym i go to seems to be the busier one and most members

[Asker]

thats my sense but i think she'd still make an awesome girlfriend. also think now that she's at the gym , she's coming out of her shell and perhaps has a lot more male interest than in the past. so it might be harder to stand out now. i've always though she was good looking but think its only more recently that she's been more open about it or that guys noticed her . i wouldn't even be surprised if she was one of those girls who everyone though was a 10 /10 but she herself didn't think she was half that. she's odd i know that she got her belly button pierced last year which at the time really surprised me as she didn't seem like the type , then she deleted the picture of it and never seen her show it off once , just don't think she see's herself as the sexy type despite being really attractive

[Asker]

note i know more about the gym who works at the gym as we had some friends in common through that restaurant she briefly worked at earlier , so i had seen her social media before and know a fair bit about her , she's also planning to leave this area around the fall? to attend school in the city ,

i wouldn't have a clue how to go about finding any of the random women i see at the gym online? it be helpful to know which ones were married or single , but it doesn't hurt to ask and if you find out she's with someone its not a big deal as long as you don't come on too strong

[Avicenna]

Don't tie yourself in knots trying to figure out if a woman is single or not. If she is wearing a wedding band or engagement ring, assume she is. If she isn't and you don't know whether she is single, feel free to start a convo with her. In my experience, if a woman is in a relationship and you've approached her respectfully, she will tell you nicely that she is in a relationship or mention a boyfriend or husband but still talk to you if the convo is respectful and interesting to her.
Most if not all of the women you meet in a gym won't be single because women who go to gyms regularly are generally in great shape and have good incomes, so they're very desirable partners.

[Asker]

true especially in this town , i'd imagine a lot of the women who go to the gym aren't single , its a much different scene than the city where there would likely be more singles in a gym. women here tend to be bored and the gym is something to do.

there used to be a women's only gym here but it closed a couple years ago , not sure why as it was popular and well used , for some reason the chain decided to leave town. so all the gyms here are mixed men/women. lets say my gym has 100 female members , vegas odds they can't all be happily married? there has to be a few singles in the mix , but just cause we go to the same gym , doesn't mean we'd be a match in terms of a relationship

[Avicenna]

It doesn't hurt to talk to a few. However, don't talk to more than a few because you don't want to get a rep as the guy who is talking to all of the women at the gym.

[Asker]

true i could see that happening especially in a small town , in a city it likely would go unnoticed as gyms have so many members who wouldn't even know each other but here a lot would. it just seems like a tough gym to meet people in as its concept is focused on being open 24hrs , doesn't seem to do a lot of classes but it might have some , not really sure? as i haven't been there at certain times of the day.
think here single women are just hard to meet , like a girl could be single and working as a cashier at a grocery store and i'd never even know she was available if she didn't come out to the pub or the gym. where would i even meet her? if she didn't socialise where i did and even if i saw her at the store i wouldn't know she was single , find some of the girls here just don't seem to go out much

[Asker]

i found out that the girl who works at the gym is in fact single , was able to view her instagram page today , it was open had been private , no pictures of her with any guys. of course that doesn't mean she hasn't dated anyone else since i first meet her at the restaurant , she's pretty good looking and my town is full of horny guys. but i would definitly be interested in getting with her , kind of the awesome combination of good girl meets really hot girl who spends a lot of time at the gym and isn't a whore who's slept with everyone. i'm not sure how to go about this , wish i had found this out earlier as i would of tried a bit harder at the gym but she's always there so will be more chances