I can’t tell if the girl I am talking to is a bad texter or just doesn’t want to talk to me?

[Anonymous]

Met this girl on a dating app, we had a great conversation at first and then she suddenly went silent for about a week, not a big deal, we hadn’t met and I just moved on.

She texts me later and says she’s sorry but work got really busy, eventually we hung out and things went well. But in the days after she started getting distant again. In my experience with dating, if someone gets distant after the first date or two, I just take the hint and move on. I tried to send a follow up message and got no response for a couple days. Then she texts me saying she had been working crazy hours this week and didn’t have the energy to text when she got home. I understand being tired, but give me the common courtesy of at least sending some sort of acknowledgement... even if it’s just to say “hey sorry, I’m really tired from work and can’t talk”. I don’t want to call her because I don’t know what her work hours are and she doesn’t even have the energy to send me a text.

We were texting last night and she stopped responding, I don’t even know if I want to send another message today, or just wait for her to respond. I could send follow up texts but I really hate doing that... especially at the beginning because it makes me feel desperate, and it also makes it feel like I am keeping the relationship on life support instead of letting it die. Thoughts?

[ecfresh]

Seems like she is making excuses. Most people have busy lives and work can be all consuming if you let it. Sounds like either she is using work as an excuse to be hot and cold or maybe she really does let work consume her life at times which is unhealthy if she can’t strike a balance. Either way, do you really like her enough to put up with this pattern? If you do then sounds like you need to be more proactive and schedule either dates or times to speak to her if she is going to be busy moving forward.

[Red_Dragon]

Sounds like you're waiting by the phone.. never do that. Ever.

[Asker]

I am not waiting by the phone with this, I have in the past and that’s something I don’t want to do again. I had already accepted that she wasn’t interested after she didn’t reply to me, but then she did. I just don’t want to continue something that is this much work

[Red_Dragon]

Okay then don't.

[katha0706]

First it is important what YOU want. Do you want to talk to her and keep contact? Or is it already too much effort?
I would recommend you, that you send her a last message where you clarify what you think about the situation and what you'd whish for. At some point she'll respond to it. And tell you what she thinks about it. And after that you can decide if you want to stay in touch or just leave it and go on.