Should I be worried about my boyfriends new female work friend?

[lmw22]

My boyfriend have been together for a little over a year, we have had rough patch where he did try to hookup with another girl but we broke up for a couple weeks and did not talk during that time. Since then, we got back together and I have had major trust issues with any girl he talks to and that causes a lot of issues as well where he feels like he can’t have friends. He makes friends easier with females than males, I know it and it never bothered me until the instance of him asking a girl to hookup. Now recently we had a big fight where he doesn’t think he can do this anymore if I don’t try to trust him. I’ve been trying but what has bothered me is that he met a new friend from work. She’s a female, a little older than him and looks a lot like me. Okay, that’s not a big deal. But what bothers me is she requested him on Facebook at almost 11pm and has nobody else from work on her Facebook (yes I did snoop). He accepted her friend request and from what the information he has given me is that he mentioned something about her car that he noticed was broken. He’s a car savvy guy. But me being me I added her on Facebook to assert myself as “the girlfriend” since it’s 11pm she added him and she has nobody else from work. Should I be worried?

[chriscdi]

i was gonna say that you should trust your lover but after you said he cheated once, i changed my mind, i would be worried, well not me cause i go by one rule, once a cheater, always a cheater, you cheat once its over, no second chances but honestly i think you should be alerted, give him the trust that he wants but be ready to dip if you have too cause it seems like he is falling into the same bullshit again, i personally am not a fan of male friends if i had a girl cause thats just someshit waiting to happen, like i love to say, im the lover and im her best friend, why you need more male friends lol, if you wanna give him the trust you can but i think you being alerted is also good, i really hope it works out for y'all and that you could trust him again but i strongly believe about that cheating shit, i wish you luck with it all missy

[lmw22]

Yeah I understand that mentality and I stand by it also, but me being me I took him back after we didn’t talk for a while and he seemed remorseful. He hasn’t tried to be buds with other girls until now. I have male friends and he knows about them, but since i got with him I haven’t hung out with them unless he’s there and I talk to them occasionally. I think I’m going to give him a couple of weeks before I start looking into his phone or something so he thinks he’s in the clear... that sounds so bad it’s like a trap but I don’t want him to be alarmed and delete messages with her

[chriscdi]

its funny cause this stuff you are doing with the trap and searching through the phone and shit might seem possessive and controlling to others but since im a loyal and have nothing to hide, shit like this just seems adorable and funny to me lol, ima make sure to get a territorial girl, but i can't really blame you for being territorial or for giving him another chance cause im sure you love him so you trusted him for another chance, i understand where you are coming from missy, but ey sometimes you gotta put the foot down and fight for whats yours right, lets just hope he learned from the first time and doesn't take this second chance for granted, now if he changes his password, you already know whats up, just gonna leave this advice in case shit goes south, whatever happens, there's men out there that are loyal and that won't snake you, and if this guy can't stay loyal to you, im sure there's someone out there that would be honored to do so, i hope everything goes right tho and it all goes back to normal, and hopefully he makes some male friends cause he putting you through a lot of stress 😆💯

[lmw22]

I doubt he’d change his password as he hasn’t changed at all in the year we’ve been together and my Face ID is also in his phone so any time I look at the phone it unlocks for me. I’m not very territorial, just more of a girl who’s trying to protect herself from getting hurt. I’m like a carefree, laid back girl until you hurt me and that’s when the claws come out, unless M (my boyfriend)... I feel like the only reason why I took him back is because he’s my longest relationship, my first and I hold a lot of love for him. I honestly doubt he’ll make male friends, he’s too hardheaded and stubborn and known to get into fights with other males. While with other girls I feel like he gets along with them better since he isn’t in always in “fight” mode ig

[chriscdi]

yea i understand what you mean but personally i believe that no matter how long you have that relationship for, if he can't stay loyal to you then you can't trust him and with no trust, then you can't expect that relationship to last, i can understand him with the fighting other males shit tho, mens egos and masculinity won't let shit slide sometimes and it ends in brawls and shit, but i have male friends tho and they are loyal af to me, im loyal back to them, theyd kill for me and id kill for them, so its possible to find good friends but sometimes to get something you just have to put some effort, and if that effort means he has to control his ego, then be it right? you have to control the ego before the ego controls you, which might sound stupid but it happens, but for now put those claws away and just have them ready to come out 😂

i hope he really pulls through with this cause it be a shame to disappoint you for the second time, not everyone gives second chances, but ey you never know, lets not underestimate him, he might pull of the loyalty after all 🤷🏽‍♂️

[sonoooo789]

No, you should not worry , but you should trust on your love.

[lmw22]

I guess so

[Anonymous]

You should’ve not requested her and just watched his Facebook to see if they message each other. I would’ve just pretended that I knew nothing about it to see if he would continue to sneak

[lmw22]

Oh, I think I didn’t explain enough in my post. He told me about how he made a new friend from work, which happened to be her and mentioned that he messaged her on Facebook that somethings wrong with her car as he’s a car savvy guy. He didn’t sneak he blew himself in. I don’t know any of the conversation other than what he has said. I’m sorry I should have explained in detail

[Anonymous]

I bet he had to hit you up first

[lmw22]

I think this comment is an indication that he’s hitting her up to talk to her and start something and it’s now sent my anxiety into over drive

[Opinion Owner]

I was being sarcastic towards gender roles

[lmw22]

Ah makes sense... but actually I was the one who Hit him up first but he didn’t reciprocate until like three months later since he knew I just got out of a relationship at the time I hit him up and he was allowing me to get over him before trying to see if I actually wanted him