Should I be worried about my boyfriends female friend?

[Anonymous]

My boyfriend has a female friend. I've met her once or twice and had no problem with her until I attended a 21st with my boyfriend. I was standing right next to my boyfriend and she just started wrapping her arms around him, putting her head on his chest and holding his arm.

Further my boyfriend refuses to post on Instagram of our relationship or save snaps of me and him or even just me alone on Snapchat but she's all over his instagram and he has a album of their snaps together and screenshotted snaps of her on his phone.

They send quite a lot of whatsapps, send Instagram memes quite a bit, they are always snapchatting each other. Their moms are best friends.

I'd never get my boyfriend to stop being friends with her, I know she has a boyfriend and my boyfriend has chosen me but I have to say I'm getting worried really and wondering if this is a red flag going forward?

[CallMeDave]

Generally, I don't think there's anything wrong with someone having opposite sex friends while in a relationship. I have female friends and my girlfriend has male friends and that's not a problem. Those opposite sex friends must be completely platonic though and have to be lower in importance than the person's partner.

I see a few things in what you said that are very concerning and do not seem right.

"she just started wrapping her arms around him, putting her head on his chest and holding his arm" sounds much too affectionate to me. A quick hello/goodbye hug or a hug if one of them is in emotional distress is not really a problem, but what you described sounds way too affectionate. Definite warning sign.

"my boyfriend refuses to post on Instagram of our relationship or save snaps of me and him or even just me alone on Snapchat but she's all over his instagram and he has a album of their snaps together and screenshotted snaps of her on his phone" is concerning also. YOU should be his top priority. It might be OK for him to post occasional things about her as a friend, but you should be on there more than her. Definite warning sign - probably an even bigger one.

"They send quite a lot of whatsapps, send Instagram memes quite a bit, they are always snapchatting each other" is also very concerning and also a big warning sign for similar reasons. Even if there's nothing sexual going on between them, it really seems that he's more connected to her than he is to you.

Unless you're satisfied with that arrangement and don't want to be #1 in his mind and heart, I would certainly be worried

How much time and energy does he have to spend with you when he's investing so much in her?

[Kiss_Me]

Remember the Bat Signal from Batman? Yeah, its that big of a Red Flag. Id see if her boyfriend is ever around. She may not have one of her own, or he is also unaware of what is happening as well.
Want to have some fun. Have a talk with him and find out.

IF you do... post the results. We are nosy that way... :)

[Simplismilez]

Well it sounds like there's something going on between them. I had a similar situation with my husband and one of his "friends". I met the bitch a few times and she seemed really nice and sweet. And I honestly believed that they were just friends until come to find out he's been seeing her on the side for the past 3 months and they were plotting for a way to break the news to me. I'd ask him though. And go with your gut. If something is telling you that something is off it's because it probably is.

[Killer-Queen]

None of it is appropriate and this isn't high school anymore. I would not have any of it. Tell him to take care of that and knock it off.

[Killer-Queen]

ty for mh

[Alyssa11]

This is a major red flag - not just a red flag. Honestly I'll just be honest with you - you should be super worried.

[22evie]

I would definitely be worried, and agree with the other girl that commented, you should confront him about it

[pleasestopthis]

They seem a little too invested in each other. I wouldn't like it if my partner were too affectionate with another female.

[lanadelrey25]

Ugh leave this man whore

[paradiseinhiding]

Yes be worried confront him about it

[collie22]

two red flags

[Dave31989]

always