I have a date tonight with a hot woman. She is REAL. We are texting. She gave me her cell phone number.
The problem?
She appears to be an Instagram model with about 1,000 followers. Most are nature of trees pics or makeup pics. But some pics are bakini or her in bed with lingerie modeling.
Is this relationship material or should I go on the date thinking its friends with benefits?
Yes. They just like pictures
No. They either are having sex with many people, unfaithful, or narcissistic
Select gender and age to cast your vote:
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Updates
+1 y
Okay guys. I should update you. The first date went well. She was a beautiful brunette with tats and a few piercings. She was beautiful but not skinny like a model. The date went well. She had spent some time in the Hollywood scene. She was very kind and sweet. Was full of conversation. We made out after the date. Still lots of questions. Much to know. But a solid date.
Are Instagram model looking people who take a lot of social media selfies relationship material?
I'd say no. My friend dated one for a year, and I got to know her and her IG friends. They all cared only about material stuff, no desire to have a real job, milked my friend for his money and could sit their phone down long enough to even have a real 5 minute long conversation. Sure, everyone's different so there's no harm in meeting her and getting to know the person behind the filters. With that said, most people in their 20s only relying on IG modeling seems to have short term goals with no solif long term plans. The 401k isn't all that great in IG modeling, nor is the insurance plans. It's nice to do as a side hustle, but unless theyre like in the top.5%, then they likely won't be able to retire at 30 with the rest of their lives paid for. You'll likely be the one taking care of them going forward. I've had at least 20 female friends throughout high school and college who aspired to be models, 10 years later, none of them are successful models... some did find dudes who were successful though, so I guess kudos for that? I say give it a shot, and if she ticks all of the stereotypes, then move on once the night is over.
There’s no way to tell without getting to know her. It’s easy to take advice from random people online versus taking a risk at getting burned on a chance that this girl isn’t just good looking but also attractive on the inside.
Don’t take anyone’s advice here. There’s nothing wrong with being vulnerable and accepting it’s possible she MIGHT disappoint. If she turns out not to be relationship material, guess what) you’ll survive and find a new girl. But there’s a chance she will IMPRESS. Go on your date. Be yourself and allow her to show you who she is. There’s no way to know who she is right now
I think you should go on the date expecting to meet a person, not the IMAGE of a person. Instagram models make money from what they do, just like ANY model does. What they show in pictures has little or nothing to do with what kind of person they are. Listen to what she has to say and be open to who she presents herself as. I'd ask her how she got into her modeling work. I'm sure some Instagram models are trying to get careers in the real world of print and runway modeling. It's a hard gig to land if you aren't in New York, Dallas or LA or don't have money.
THank you. I did. It was a great date. But every man must be cautious that his time is not being wasted. A man must be careful that he isn't being used for free drinks or meals. Luckily I paid for the drinks and she paid for cheesecurds. A huge attraction for me.
Every woman faces the same issues. Maybe not the free drinks and meals thing, but the free sex and booty call-FWB scam. She might be a winner. Good luck.
friends with benefits is fantastic as well. I have many friends with benefits relationships that were wonderful and ended on good terms. My thinking is that she would prefer friends with benefits status with me. But she is coming to my house in a few days for date #2. I have no expectation for a relationship. But I am looking forward to sleeping with her and seeing where things go. So far she is sweet and kind but sounds pretty insecure about herself. She knows she looks good but emotionally it seems someone was abusive and put her down. She hasn't said this but I sense it.
Well you are unusual in your friends with benefits statuses. Always seems one person or the other wants more than just friendly sex. I've never cottoned to it. I'd rather use a device. No strings.
Very true. It depends on the people involved. Sometimes I have falling in loved. SOmetimes they have. Other times it was just mutually a good time when we are single. But in my situation with friends because we respected each other and valued each other as people things were not too full of drama.
What is NOT okay is leading a girl on. Like for me in relationship mode I go with the flow. But it is important to be honest with a girl and not lie about what you want and what your intentions are. All of my FWBs were agreed upon before having sex. Most of my relationships were just go with the flow in the beginning and really growing and enjoying each other. :)
You've known some laid back women. I'm more tightly wound. friends with benefits, ah ah. Casual dating to see if you have potential, if you don't, friendship only if there's a desire to have said. I like men friends. But, I gotta have the whole tomato man. Just like I'm the whole tomato woman!! Kisses!!
I can tell you as a guy it took years for me to get to the point of being laid back and allowing the woman to ask for committment. Guys get turned down all the time asking for a relationship before having sex. Pushing committment. I was friendzoned for 25 years. I have since learned to give a woman a good time. Be confident and forward about having sex. And allow her emotions to evolve naturally with consistent sex and romantic dates. When she feels no pressure and allows her heart space to grow then that is when she will be open to relationship with a guy. Trust me. I've dated a lot of women. Its the only way. Let it be her idea.
I don’t most much and when I do it’s when I travel. I think girls who frequently post on their stories or account is too fulll of herself and likely to care about her needs and not his.
Since she is only posting these pics occasionally, it could go either way. It's something to be aware of, but not enough to disqualify her out of the gate.
I personally think people who are influencers on IG be it man or woman, but given this is about a woman in your question, I feel the majority of those are nothing but thirst traps to lure followers in.
How much time and photos do they take to get the right photo for a post? How much time do they take to edit it and make her look flawless for endless comments from men? It comes off very vain and narcissistic. Good chance she will have dozens of options from men as well given her inbox and DMs are probably filled with a lot of requests.
Good for you if you got her number and got a date, but don't get attached or have an expected outcome with her because you will most likely be disappointed. Probably would look more for an friends with benefits or date for fun with a woman like her over a serious relationship.
If I were you, I wouldn't keep my hopes up. In the dating world, a girl with many followers and is posting "spicy" pictures of herself is often the one who will bring you headache and has 100 dudes sliding in her DMs. I seriously hope you're not taking her on a dinner date, because that's one easy way to set yourself up to get used for a free meal.
In my experience and what I've witnessed, girls who are that serious about social media are often promiscious, high maintenance and/or a headache. If you're more of a laid-back guy, then being serious about this girl is going to drain your energy. I'd say, see where it goes. If you can at least hit it, that would be great. But don't expect much.
I hope she finds a better guy than you who doesn't ask total strangers online without joy of their own if he should like her or not. I take this personal because a guy I liked made his friends convince him to dump me, get a mind of your own and deal with the consequences of your own. You act like she's gonna kill you and eat you, what's the worse that could happen? if it doesn't last then you both will have memories meant to be a lesson. And if she does eat you then tough luck, it was meant to be that way, we're not gonna help you decide to ghost her because you're paranoid.
Funny, I can guarantee you that she is talking to a bunch of other guys while talking to him. A girl who posts sexy pictures of herself and has at least 1000 followers is definitely getting dudes sliding in her DMs and cranking up her ego. And yet you're sitting here shaming this guy for expressing a worry that stems from his guts telling him not to trust the situation.
She isn't going to kill and eat him. Often, women mislead guys and use them for free validation/attention or (dinner) dates. While they know they have no desire for them. So no, I don't think he is paranoid. He is simply cautious
@Newhead What an "intelligent" comeback. Somehow this "loser" is in a relationship with a wonderful girl who doesn't plant seeds of doubt in the head of the person she is with. But do keep rationalizing if that helps you with your cognitive dissonance.
I don't think so. Not while they are addicted to that and the attention they get from an army of guys begging her for sex. The chance of her being loyal to you or even being able to take you seriously is close to zero. But she ain't going to tell you that. She will use you to get the kind of attention she can't get from the online dudes, like you (eventually) showing that you care about her & not just her body.
first of all, she's not an instagram model since she has about 1,000 followers and instagram models have upwards of 15k, and second, there's nothing to worry about :) a lot of girls take bikini pics and its a really normal thing to do!
True. But do they pose in bed with just their bra and panties in a very highly produced way? Do you do that? I feel if i met someone who does but is legit id feel better.
Even though she is an Instagram model she still isn’t that big in the spotlight so I wouldn’t sweat the followers , if she is making money from it good for her but if she is doing it just for attention then you might have competition but best thing to do is just go have fun with her be yourself , she picked you to go on a date with so take that for granted , when you do go out with her see how her personality is a lot of times you can tell if a girl is a player or not , just have fun and see how your chemistry is with her when you are together don’t worry about other guys
Not necessarily. A friend of mine is obsessed with her like and follower count and posts daily. Her boyfriend, on the other hand, hardly touches social media. It's also not necessarily a sign of narcissism or anything you've listen. Apparently raking up the most possible likes or followers, as well as as social media as a whole, can be nothing more than a hobby or even a job for some, it doesn't make them sluts (not that there's anything wrong with being one, but that's another story entirely) it9 egocentric, the same way being interested in guns doesn't make you a soldier or crazed gunman
They really aren't either, they are media personalities, they act different in person and sometimes are hoes but sometimes they are relationship material, but I wouldn't say they are gonna be perfect by any means, and be ready to be apart of their social page, they most likely don't do it because they like pictures.
Such a female is relationship material, in my opinion. Women have been hard wired by natural selection to crave male attention. That was (and is) how they attract a good-quality mate. The girls on Instagram (and elsewhere) are fulfilling that deep need to be looked at and desired by men. Most of them probably do not understand that part of their psychology and biology. The girls who have taken it a step further and use that male attention to generate an income have made a decision to monetise their beauty. There is nothing inherently wrong with that, in my opinion. Some girls will take the next step and accept the many offers that they will receive to fuck for money. Others, the girls who I would consider to be relationship material, will be made wet and wanting by all the attention. A smart boyfriend would use her aroused sexual state to his advantage. :-)
Depending on how they post a holiday snap in a bikini, she could or could not be an attention seeker. And social media is known for people seeking attention and validation. And as a person who has grown up with social media, I know this very well.
It depend on the situation honestly. Having a few bikini/lingerie pics isn't necessarily a dealbreaker for me. But it does suggest she may enjoy the attention of men a little bit too much. Which makes me worry about cheating in the future.
I'll date her first and form my own opinion on a case by case basis.
Generally, the less skin is shown off on her IG, the less suspicious I am though. If 99% of her pictures are of her larping in the forest, or just innocent, fully clothed "lifestyle" pics, and 1% are at the beach in a bikini, it's less suspicious than if every other picture is in lingerie with some super sexy pose.
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Anonymous
(30-35)
+1 y
No they're not. They're narcissists. Overly obsessed with looks, popularity, status.
Although she's about a 7/10. She's good looking but I wouldn't say "hot".
Thanks. But so you post pics in bed with your bra on and and lingerie? The last model i dated only wanted attention. But if you are a bakini poster and seek relationship that are real maybe it gives me hope.
Is there really such thing as an “Instagram model” ... or is it just someone who posts photos of themselves a lot?
It’s hard to say without anything else to go on... although her life most likely revolves around what does or doesn’t look good on social media. It depends if that’s your thing.
I define an "Instagram model" as someone who makes enough off of Instagram from sponsors/their own products to constitute a stable, at least part time job.
Generally this means at least 100k followers but that's not always the case.
Wow... there is it. You're a metrosexual man who studies Finance along with being a part of a rock band. Super impressive traits altogether. No wonder how easily you got a date where you even have the choice to hook up with. Great.
First. the girl I posted in here is NOT the girl I went on a date with. I protected her privacy. You asked about whether we had sex on the first date. No we did not. I dropped her off and we made out just outside her apartment. Is there a second date? Yes. She sent a text the next day and asked, "Good morning. First impression?"
I told her, "My first impression is I'm cool with nose rings, I liked your vibe, would love to get to know you more. Let me know when you are free next week." Then she told me some dates.
I replied, "Cool. How about we meet this Sunday at 6pm. Come to my place. Bring either a bottle of wine or shredded mozzarella cheese."
Then she laughed and said she will bring both. So yes. Most likely when she comes to my apartment we will make a pizza together with jazz music playing, open a bottle of wine, make out, then have sex.
You asked how I opened with her on Tinder. What my "game" was. i wouldn't say that what I do when talking to women is a game. I am just very direct and very blunt. My presence is very alpha like which confuses them because I look like a metrosexual nerdy guy.
We matched and I said, "Do you consider yourself more of a curious person or a mysterious person?" After her reply I told her, "Do you consider yourself a badass chic or a sweet innocent type?" Then I added, "I tend to be a cocky asshole with a dirty mind. But once you know me I am sweet, kind, passionate." (All of which is blunt as fuck but actually true)
Lastly, I described myself as a metrosexual man who studies finance and is in a rock band. What is funny is unless she has stalked me on facebook by finding me... she knows none of this yet. All she knows on my profile is that I study finance and have a couple pictures of me with a guitar. She is interested out of pure curiousity at the moment. she doesn't know my other qualities yet. only by having sex with her, pair bonding, and continue to not be a clingy guy will her attraction be raise in a chemical way to be obsessed and know more. Right now she is just curious why a nerdy guy is so confident and goofy.
Wow... just wow. I am stunned. I mean I am very much happy for you but impressed at the same time. First of all thanks for getting back to me and replying. It seems to me that you both will become a relationship, don't ya? The way you are at it is so passionate and meaningful. Just like a natural charmer of women. So is being blunt helpful in getting a relationship? Also if you don't mind... can you tell me what I, as a 21 year old, can do to meet more women and improve my success with women? Also is it true that younger girls want men older than them? I mean you're 33 and she must be what? 23 or 24 I guess.
Private message me and read my controversial myTakes. Just send me a PM and i can give you advice. I based on your situation. Im not a dating coach. Im not selling anything. Just a regular guy.
Ohk I will DM you. Ik you aren't a dating coach but honestly, when was the last time you heard one of your friends who went to so and so dating coach and he got success. It is regular experienced men like you who are the real deal tbh. If these dating coaches are so great, why aren't they having all those success. Almost all of them are behind creating their name and then creating a brand out of it.
They tend to be pretty boring people, hence why they give so much effort in looking their best.
Also "1000 insta followers" is below average for a "model". But she's probably just an ordinary girl with aspirations to be a model. Don't go thinking she's the next Cindy Crawford or something.
As far as dates go, there is a process to it. But listen more than you speak, and engage in active listening.
It depends. Some of them do it for fun and are just trying to inspire confidence in other girls and women. But the majority of them, probably at least 60%, are just narcissists. But because it is possible, I'll reluctantly have to go with option A, even though most probably are not relationship material.
Just because someone is “social media” attractive doesn’t make them bad. In fact actually it’s how they perceive this so called fame. It can become tiring if everything you two do alone is treated as a photo shoot. There is one other thing you need to find your peace within the realm of her level of celebrity. At this point you have someone whom could be another’s dream girl so build up your own confidence without being over bearing. Good luck end enjoy
It doesn't matter, if you like the girl and she likes you, does it matter if she's a hoe? you can be a hoe too, and both of you can hoe out together. Love like that stays longer, trust me!
1000 followers is not an influencer, that's a completely normal follower count and most girls do the occasional selfie. I hate Instagram culture and think it's narcissistic and fake but what you described is nothing to worry about.
What is she trying to do with the account? Ask her. If she is trying to make money then don't worry about it. If it's just for fun, then just treat it like a hookup.
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Anonymous
(45 Plus)
+1 y
Yeah there are people just like you and me and someone’s going to be going out with them so it may as well be you
Thanks. Yeah. I dropped her off and she textd me wanting to know if I came back safe. Then the next morning she sent me a text saying, "First impression?"
I do take that into consideration. But I have seen her whole instagram profile. It is a lot of pictures. Including her in bed with a bra on. Im open minded but wondering what people think. I dont want to be used.
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