Girls, Do you approach guys or is that the man's job?

[AlainDiaz1991]

She says it's the man's job to approach, I don't know if it's a sexist view but that's her opinion.

[AzzaBlue]

I've read a good number of women's responses and they make my skin crawl. It is quite simple, are you ladies adults or pathetic children? Adults are responsible/ accountable for their lives and choices. It is up to all of us as individuals to make our lives better and more meaningful. This attitude of expecting men to chase women (and practically do the bulk of the courting) is a cop out. Lets say that you wanted to become a lawyer. Do you simple sit on your arse and expect some high profile legal firm to contact you and offer you a job because you arrogantly think (wrongly) that it is your birthright by possessing a vagina? Or do act like a freaking adult, go to university, get the relevant qualifications, get a side job to build some kind of experience and widen your professional references and then construct a good quality professional resume? Do you then apply for position after position copping rejection until you finally get your break and land a job at a good legal firm? Dating/ courting is no different and I don't care what anyone says.
You ladies might be able to fool others (and even yourselves) of your bullshit, but you don't fool me. The real reason on why women don't want to approach blokes or do anything that gets them out of their comfort zone is because they are lazy, self entitled cowards. Period. Full stop. Mic drop.

[VanillaSalt]

I was okay with this until equality became the driving factor in society. Now if you’re not willing to bring effort up front I have to assume you’re using me for food or something. I wouldn’t even pay for a first date if I really wanted a relationship with you if you putting it was guaranteed. Actually ide lose interest. I don’t like women that put out in first dates. Well no that’s not true I love women that put out in first dates but I don’t marry them... their sex fodder nothing else.

[Soremain]

It's fine for girls to approach, but if both are equally capable to do it, it's definitely the man's job. At least the times when I didn't, I felt like the biggest pussy, and the girl probably thought the same about me. I'd have to be the biggest degenerate loser ever to redirect even half of the responsibility to the girl to avoid feeling like the loser. I think that's exactly what guys who say "it's not only my responsibility, that's not equality" are doing.

Think about a situation where both are interested in each other but hesitate to approach and just wait to gather the courage. And then the woman is the one approaching first. As the man, could you really feel good about yourself knowing she has bigger balls than you do?

And it doesn't even matter "whose job it is". If there's a hot girl you want, she doesn't have to approach anyone, she can just sit there and get approached all day long.

[Sarahr123]

I NEVER would do that. That’s his job. I have been in a steady relationship for seven years so I haven’t had the chance to know anyone other than my only boyfriend but if we broke up I will never ever approach any boy. He better impress me and woo me if he wants me. I am too good looking and intelligent to lower my standards so much as to chase a man. A real man will be courteous enough to pursue the woman he loves and I won’t lower my standards for anybody. The one who deserves me will pursue me otherwise I am happy alone.

[VanillaSalt]

So if you were alone and no man bothered to approach you. Would you be okay living single without sex our children your whole life?

[Sarahr123]

@VanillaSalt I would be okay with being single without sex but I will never be OK with settling for a lesser man. I am a beautiful and intelligent and educated young lady. I speak six languages fluently and am very cultured. Why should I settle? I won’t settle for any man who doesn’t make me happy. I know my worth and I am completely content to be on my own. I have family and I have other things that I can do instead of being stuck in a relationship.

As far as kids are concerned, for now I want to focus on making a lot of money. If I have no kids in my 30s then I’ll go for a sperm donor and have my own kids that way. You don’t need to be tied to some man who doesn’t make you happy to have babies these days.

I’m not that obsessed with sex either. Good porn and my fingers or a toy will do if I get horny. I’m not just gonna settle for someone because I feel horny sometimes.

[VanillaSalt]

It seems very one sided. All women I ask seem to not mind being single no kids or sex. So if every women’s okay with being single and alone what are men supposed to do? Do you think men care about your education or finances? I think it’s a real problem that women control everything and men have absolutely no say as to the direction of society and dating. I wonder how you will feel if you have a son and he realizes he has no power in society.

[Daniela1982]

@Sarahr123 Come one! Six languages fluently? If you could do that you would be working for the CIA as a translator and making big bucks. And for certain you wouldn't be on this lame site. And beautiful? I would have to see a certified pic to believe that. *rolls eyes*

[Sarahr123]

@Daniela1982 Oh shut up old lady I’m only 22 I just graduated recently. I was working for the civil service in England for a few months. We’re in national lockdown. I don’t have plans to work for the government anyway. And CIA? Everyone isn’t American.

[Sarahr123]

@Daniela1982 it’s very common for people of my kind to speak at least three languages. Everyone isn’t a White American monolingual you weird woman. You’re so old and know nothing about the world. You probably have protruding teeth, no chin and small eyes and flat lips. No wonder you’re so jealous that you have to write this stuff. Fat old hag!!!

[Daniela1982]

You learned 6 languages by the time you were 22? Get off it! OMG, you sound like one of the fake pink accounts who are really guys bullshitting. ha ha That would be the only explanation as someone as "cultured " as you pretend to be would be on this site.*rolls eyes again*

[Sarahr123]

@Daniela1982 LOOL I didn’t learn I was taught them as a child. I’m Indian we all speak several languages. You dumbfuck!

[VanillaSalt]

Fight fight fight fight hissssss!

[Daniela1982]

Hey gang, @Sarahr123 says she has a bridge in China to sell you cheap. Who is interested? Just pay her in girt cards.

[Sarahr123]

@Daniela1982 why is your ass burning old lady? You’re nearly 40 and don’t have anything better to do than argue with strangers online. LOSER!

[Daniela1982]

@Sarahr123 Woo hooo! The cultured leady speaks. Don't make false claims if they are not truel ha ha There are a lot of people in here with a 123 at the end. Does mean all those trolls are you too? That is why you say you speak 6 languages as 1+2+3 = 6.

[Sarahr123]

@Daniela1982 Oh shut up you old hag. It is a well known fact that Indians speak at least three languages fluently. I have relatives who can speak up to nine languages fluently. Since you keep trying to refute me I can see that it burns your ass so badly. Why would I bother about a dumb gag username? I’m not a loser like you. I only use this site because of national lockdown. You are nearing 40 and have nothing better to do! 😂

[Daniela1982]

Ah ha ha ha, you are so easy to rile up and call people names. So much for being cultured. ha ha By the way, is pig latin one of those languages you speak? Speaking 6 dialects of the Austroasiatic, Sino-Tibetan, Tai-Kadai and a few other minor language families and isolates, does not count as separate languages. It is mostly all rolled into one, unlike French, Spanish, or Italian - 3 different languages..

[Sarahr123]

@Daniela1982 You are so pathetically dumb. Bloody uncultured dumb twat. Indian languages are far more different than French is to Spanish or Italian is to Portuguese. You’re too dumb to comprehend the difference between Dravidian languages like Tulu or Kannada to Indo European languages like Hindi, Bengali, Konkani or Gujarati. You are pathetic and will always be. Don’t even talk about French lool I speak fluent French AND English whereas you can only speak English. I also speak Hindi, Bengali, Konkani and Punjabi whereas you can’t speak anything. I can speak and understand several dialects of Hindi and Bengali too but yit just burns your ass so much you ugly old aunty.

[Juicyred921]

I’m more brave online.. but I’m real life I’m terrified. I just assume I’d be rejected and the guy would be repulsed by me. So I don’t even try. Honestly if a guy came up to me.. I wouldn’t know what to do. I would just smile and assume I was in his way.. or he thought I worked at the store we’re in. Lol

[NamerOfStars]

Generally speaking, it's usually going to be the man who makes the first move, and most if not all of the escalating steps; that's just how human psychology works. Some people, however (particularly the more traditionally-minded), think it MUST ALWAYS be the man, which is just kinda stupid. The whole point of human intelligence is that we can choose to be more than just another instinct-driven ape.

But defying instinct takes a social courage that few possess, and while we may eventually see women asking men as a completely normal, everyday thing that raises NO eyebrows (today few will complain, but few will do it), that won't be in our lifetimes.

[AlainDiaz1991]

Yes and as you can see the ape in the video follows her instincts

[Daniela1982]

@NamerOfStars You must have organized the Sadie Hawkins dances at your school along with "Mix and match" day.

[NamerOfStars]

@Daniela1982 No, I had... other priorities back in those days. But it always seemed stupid to me that a woman should simply wait to be asked out by a guy she likes if she's more assertive than he is; you miss out on a lot of potential fun that way.

[Xoxocutekitty]

I think in many situations, women do a lot of the initiating of interaction. It is she who decides to smile at him from across the bar or casually mention that she doesn't have plans for the next day. The woman is the one who might suggest that she is looking for plans on a spare Saturday or is looking for 'the best coffee in town.' There is also textbook approach of needing someone to help lift some things ;)

I think these are many more less formal, but equally valid things to take into consideration. Very few men will point blank ask out a woman, without context. When I see men taking more charge on these sorts of things, aka sending out those informal feelers, "so I heard that you're really good at balancing a budget," etc, then It's much easier for that girl to say, yeah, "Would you be interested in making a budget over coffee sometime? Call it a date?"

[Curmudgeon]

"She says it's the man's job to approach,"

It pretty much is. I know that sucks, but that is how it is, get used to it now.

[AlainDiaz1991]

So that means i'll always be alone

[Curmudgeon]

I thought that way too once. However:

1. there are ways to do this online that are less difficult.
2. Your best bet is to find a common interest, from day hikes to sports to hobbies, and see if there are women interested in it too. Lots of Singles groups exist for this.

[VanillaSalt]

Online dating ruined dating. Women have access to all men over the ones in their area... best options are only the best looking men. How you fight something like this? All guys get plastic surgery?

[Toast792]

I think women should be able to approach men just as men approach women. I don't personally approach anyone, mainly because very few people interest me. Also people typically find me scary/intimidating and I don't want to make them uncomfortable.

[TayTay21]

Yes, I'll approach if I'm feeling it with a guy. But he's got to ask me out and make something happen. I'll flirt my little booty off, but I don't ask out--ever.

[Hispanic-Cool-Guy]

It's her job to give you a sign she's interested then its the man's job to approach her.

[AlainDiaz1991]

Problem is I'm too shy to do anything

[Hispanic-Cool-Guy]

Well get over it. You can't expect her to do all the work.

[AlainDiaz1991]

That's true, i'll make some effort

[Daniela1982]

Yeah, that can be a problem. Sometimes you just have to force yourself to do it. Better to embarrass yourself once in awhile than go without. Even guys who approach women all the time don't have more than a 50/50 success rate.

[Hispanic-Cool-Guy]

@Daniela1982: No. It's never good to embarrass yourself. If a woman doesn't show interest then its a waste of time to even go talk to her. Better to move unto a woman who does desire you.

[Daniela1982]

@Hispanic-Cool-Guy Thing is, women aren't always alert to a man's intentions. They may have other matters on their mind at the time. Some people just smile at others when passing as a force of habit, rather than frowning. Would a guy think that is a sign that she is open to being approached though, just because she smiles, because she probably smiles at other women too? I would think if a woman was interested in a guy she would show a bit more than a smile. However, I'm sure a lot of girls are a bit shy too if by themselves but might be a little more emboldened if with other girls. You just never know but don't try and look more into it than it is, just a smile for instance. It doesn't mean she wants sex and may be just going about her business.

[Avicenna]

They’ll approach if a guys really desirable to them

[Daniela1982]

Here is my view.

[VanillaSalt]

But now you can get into serious trouble talking to women in public. I can provide several links which ended in men being arrested for doing nothing... including a guy arrested for rape when he helped change her tire. Now I won’t stop to help a woman change her tire.

[Daniela1982]

@VanillaSalt Well he must have done something. I mean how do you know he didn't? Lone women are easy targets. Just had a woman who went on a road trip here and she was found dead. She apparently met someone who didn't have her best interests in mind.

[VanillaSalt]

He was arrested for “pushing her down and raping her”. He actually stopped and help her change a tire. She changed her story in court he brushed against her chest. There was a brief moment it could have happened but she didn’t react. The man lost his job and was about to go to jail...

Until his lawyer checked video footage across the street showing he did absolutely nothing wrong. She suffered no consequences.

[VanillaSalt]

About 7-8 years ago I was in a rush and got into a woman’s way while she was after milk at Walmart. I said excuse me and held the door open for her... she blew up and stared screaming at me “no you don’t talk to me!”. If I wasn’t caught so off guard ide have back handed the bitch to the floor for being a shitty person...

[Daniela1982]

@VanillaSalt Women who cry rape falsely should go to jail. I'm really surprised he didn't sue her or press charges. Any woman who does that is a cunt!

[VanillaSalt]

How you gonna do that though. Most claims are not done in front of a camera. You can’t send women to jail for not having proof to convict a man of rape... and the man never got his job back.

[FictionalCharacter]

I approach guys online, but in real life I’m too shy to even look at a guy 😄

[Anonymous]

Leave it to the ladies

approach a woman in the MeToo era are you fucking mad

I steer clear of solo women under pension drawing age in any scenario

If you get MeTooed, you're best off sucking a 12 bore

[_Troian_]

Its noones job, if she believes it's a man's job then she won't ever get a real man and she will be moaning under wimps.

[Daniela1982]

@_Troian_ If your read my my image above you can see that it is a man's job unless he is a mama's boy and needs mama's permission to talk to a woman because he has no idea what to say to her. You know, like the old caveman cartoon of a caveman with a club hauling his woman off to his cave? Do you ever see the female hitting on the male in the animal world?

[_Troian_]

@Daniela1982 Well I also approach to woman first and start the conversation, I don't have problem with it but the thing I criticize is "expecting everything from man". If I liked a girl and wanted to speak with her I'd at least expect her to stare at me, smile.. make it a bit obvious that she is interested and want to communicate.. that's how I'll approach her. However if she is interested but prefers to not show her feelings to me even for a bit, then nope I won't approach her.. cause no one would want to be rejected for nothing, it's also woman's duty to make it a bit clear to man and call him to flirt with her glare.. isn't it?

[_Troian_]

@Daniela1982 You gave me an example from animal world, yeah I also think the same way.. I like to be the hunter who hunts the female and I don't have problem with it but as I said, if it's not "a bit" obvious from her side then I won't give it a try cause no one has so much time for it.. or even tho if she is interested if she tries to play hard to get, then I'll stop speaking with her lol.. I don't have time for it. There should be effort from both sides not only from men, otherwise I'll get bored and won't want to communicate.

As I said, it's cool by my side to be the one who start convo etc. However there are a lot of men in the world who suffer from psychological problems and they just can't communicate with women, and they are a lot by the way, not even minority.. so what they gonna do if they like a girl? I know guys like this around me, just because she always wanted him to approach they couldn't even meet and communicate, just because she didn't want to get over from these taboos she ruined herself from her love to him and he was also ruined lol.

Women should also think men have psychology, not every men is same.. yeah by nature men should be the one who approach usually but if he can't do that then women should assist them, it should be like a teamwork.

[Daniela1982]

Sounds fair to me.

[moviedude714]

That's how it's been historically and traditionally, I never liked this gender dynamic either sadly can't do anything about it

[kajad1]

i run away if girl apporach me first i need to approach her first if not than no 🤣 🤣 🤣 🤣 🤣

[Anonymous]

That's just what they like, so obviously they're going to say it's "men's job".
It's a hollow claim.

[Anonymous]

I have approached in the past.

[AlainDiaz1991]

So you don't follow pointless traditions

[Daniela1982]

Hey, your 6th grade school teacher doesn't count as that is a childhood crush.

[ITGirl95]

Whoever is feeling it first 😃

[novian]

no one cares

[Daniela1982]

@novian Hush! We are discussing who approaches who. If you don't care you must expect them to hit on you. But some Ho on a street corner hitting on you while her pimp waits in the wings is not the same thing.