Why is she calling me her “gay friend”?

[YinYang42]

So there’s this girl I work with that I’m interested in. We’ve had a couple of conversations so far and she seems great. I feel like we connected the most out of everyone else just by the way she behaves around me. I’ve noticed that she’ll talk and hover around me the most when there’s other people around. She doesn’t seek me out, but when I’m around she’ll sometimes try to get my attention by saying something or asking a question. She’ll tease me sometimes and say silly things I taught her in my native language.

What I’m having a difficulty understanding is why she keeps referring to me as her “gay friend” every time she sees me. She mentioned that when she first met me that she thought I was gay because of the diamond studs and because of how I “act” sometimes. She said she’s just messing with me when she says it. She also teased me about it once in front of my other guy friends (they aren’t the type she’d date).

I’m trying understand what this means, if anything, or if anybody else here has done that to a guy, or a guy they liked or didn’t like and wanted to keep as friends.

I haven’t asked her out yet or for her number or social media because of that one comment.

Serious opinions are appreciated.

Updates

+1 y

Now she got into the habit of touching my hair. Two days in a row now.

[ZackBan]

"No one she'd be interested in"
"Got in the habit of touching my hair two days in a row"
Hate to break it to you but that's pretty gay. Or actually gay is not the word as you're into women not men but it's a beta feminine behavior and I promise you at this rate you'll never date her.
The path to a relationship does not include playing with hair or any kind of friendly interactions before an actual date.

I don't know if it's too late for this one but to salvage the situation you need to assert your position as someone who's intersted in her that means you flirt you compliment you make a few flirty jokes and then you ask her out as fast as possible, after the date you keep building from there and only when you two are dating do you allow friendly behavior.

Trust me I've been down the friendzone road before and while it feels like you're growing closer every day as long as you are not a romantic interst in her mind all that you two do will be as "friends"

Note: point out that you are straight and don't appreciate being called a gay friend as long as you let her call you that she will subconsciously think it.

[YinYang42]

What’s “beta feminine behavior”?

[ZackBan]

Im afraid this is a question that takes more than the gag limit of words to answer.

Fortunately for you the web is full of people addressing that stuff some do it more justice than others but it's always good to get as many insights as you can.

One small recommendation I can make is a YouTube channel called playingwithfire it's more about dating coaching and all that stuff but the guy really gives good insight on what to do and what not to do in order to be a person of high value that women would want to get in a relationship with. He may sound like a jerk at first but if you listen through you'll realize that he's very level headed about these things.

But the main point is behavior can be changed I know because I had the problem and managed to change mine so do the research man it will change your life.

[YinYang42]

Oh, I was referring to the comment you made towards the hair play and such. I’ve actually told her no every time she starts doing it. I’ve also told her that I’m not gay and don’t like it when she says it. She’s foreign (not American) so I don’t know how they see things in her country/culture when it comes to this.

Thanks for the input though. I’ll be looking into it.

[OlderAndWiser]

Good chance that you are friend zoned. Many girls like to have gay friends.

[doopayo]

That’s fetishization, you want to stay away from people like that. Especially if she doesn’t seek you out, she doesn’t see you as a person and just keeps you in the confides of “gay best friend”
Drop her, you deserve better!


People like those are some of the worst

[ShaTTeredMasterpeace]

Calling someone my gay friend would mean that I'm not interested in them.

[Avicenna]

Go ahead and ask her anyway. She probably just thinks she’s being funny

[exitseven]

Tell her you are not gay and you don't like it when she calls you her gay friend.

[Likes2drive]

Maybe just likes you as a friend

[Jmmmfi4]

none of this is a good sign