Men, is it ok for me to ask how much money you make if you’ve mentioned that you don’t make enough?

[SaraSmithishere]

I went on two dates and both men complained about how little they made. By the third date, I wanted to ask, if only because they had mentioned that it wasn’t a lot. I know asking is stigmatized.

[Crazybeeguy]

I understand where you are coming from and asking. Why are these guys complaining how much they make on a date? Also, they are in control of that. 888thegreat gave an example that you can make money. Their jobs is it in a field that doesn't pay well like an adoption place or Habitat for Humanity? Love does not conquer all. Living from paycheck to paycheck, is not a form of lifestyle that married couples don't want to do. Just like men don't want a gold digger, women don't want one either. If your intention in life is to financially take care of a husband then you might be ok with that. I know of stay at home dad's, it can work. Honestly I've had low paying jobs, Walmart. I never lived paycheck to paycheck, it didn't provide me a lot of money. Again, it doesn't pay I don't stay long just need it long enough for bills to be paid and have money. My motivation is high, I also wouldn't want to be in a relationship where my SO would have to worry about financial stress. Good luck.

[888theGreat]

You should get another guy to find out for you. I would be upset with you because it makes you look like Money is most important to you. It also doesn't prove anything. I make very little , yet I have a good net worth. I invested in metals and Art for pennies on the dollar. You can also inherit money , and not make much where you are working. First is real love. Then how loyal the guy is. Then the fact he does work and understands he should work. Plus maybe there is money on your side of the family. Maybe on his side. Besides as you both age , you will make more money.

[BakedBeanieBabie]

Sounds a little insensitive to be honest. I don't pry into financials until I really know someone and I tend to let them bring that full information with me.

[MrOracle]

If, by the third date, you're feeling serious about the guy, then it's a reasonable question to ask, especially if they've brought it up themselves (and you could mention that they brought it up originally). I would want to know in your position. But it's also important to know that money comes and goes, and that sometimes a man just needs some focus and direction - or a reason to achieve - before he becomes really successful, so if he has some ambition and some potential, the fact that he's not making a lot TODAY isn't that important. If he has no ambition or potential, or if he has a poor work ethic, THEN you want to run away.

[Adam1978]

It's odd that they even bring that up. Unless it's a tactic to either scare away gold diggers or to make you feel pity and pay the way. A person that complain about the salary should be working on fixing that. Switching job is the easiest way. But most of the time it's better to have a good grasp on your own economy so it doesn't leak so much money.

[Novacane]

I mean I've always been taught to never pocket watch (ask people about their money) unless it comes up into conversation, but even then I don't really ask. Asking can come off as weird just because they might think you are judging them for the money or only talking to them for how much they make. So unless they start talking about it then why not.

[DCooper]

Hey, they brought it up first, so it's fair game at that point. Good opportunity to make fun of them ! After all, nobody likes a whiner.

[MTC29]

If you asked me that out of the blue, our date would end at that point.

On the other hand, it is my opinion that once a statement is made "I don't make enough money" the door is open for questions.

[MCheetah]

No. That's none of your business, and if it's that important to you, don't even waste your mutual time and just go after rich guys and admit to being a gold digger.

[DWornock]

Although, just knowing his occupation is usually sufficient, that is information you need to know to determine if he is worth dating. However, you may not get an truthful answer.

[Avicenna]

I'd advise instead asking why he thinks that he doesn't make enough.

[nerijukas]

Dont ask yearly ammount ask what job he has and how much it pays hourly. Some people can make 100k a year and still say its not enough

[Pogi-Paddy-2]

I think it's the same kind of thing that you should not do to any man, it is like a man asking a woman how old she is.

[DeltaCharlieEcho]

Let me guess. You grew up without a father didn’t you?

[SaraSmithishere]

No I love my dad and he is the bread winne r

[UnknownUser01]

Ask what they do for a living and you can make an educated guess as to how much they make.

[dolemite89]

i wouldn’t outright ask the exact amount, ask what he does specifically and guesstimate how much they make based on that

[Anonymous]

But why do you care? Seriously question, why do you want to know?

[Hotboy_booblover]

U shud never ask a women her age and a man how much he earns.. u will never get the right answer😂

[slatyb]

If they mentioned it, it's reasonable to ask.

[DaveToo]

If they bring it up then you can pursue it.

[COMMODOREII]

If they bring it up then yes

[Joshua0213]

If you ask me how much I make were done tbh.

[ItsMeItsMe1989]

should it matter how much he makes?

[Anonymous]

Maybe they are shit testing you

[Anonymous]

Yea you can ask that but dont be blunt