Birthday Card Can embarrass?

[Anonymous]

I've been dating a guy for a couple of months, and even before this we were really good friends. I've known him for 2 years now, and we dated on and off. However, he hit me up again this year and I decided to give him another chance because I truly liked him. He told me straight up he is leaving another college in the fall, so he doesn't want to start something serious (he's 20 so am I ) and I wasn't really opposed to it because I didn't want to get attached, and either way wasn't getting my hopes up because I'm more focused on other things. Hence - our situationship started. [ Many of you know how this goes- you both are going out on dates, talking every day, but the catch is you guys are not "official". ] I realized however going into 4 months of bliss that my previous feelings , strong feelings were coming back. I knew he has a lot of things going on in his personal life, so I didn't want to tell him… I fell in love with him. Its such a weird feeling to me since I have never fell in love before nor did I ever catch feelings this strong. Usually I do not get attached. He was definitely different. So... I ended things. He genuinely never did anything bad specific (treated me very well) but because I couldn't have this commitment I was scared he would be talking to other girls which would gut me, so I ended things as soon as I admitted I was in love with him. I never told him, I just messaged him I decided I am looking for something a bit more committed. He said he respected my decision and this caught him by surprise. Question: His birthday is coming up, and I was just going to do the typical Instagram/text message (we still follow each other: he watched my stories, and he liked my posts, he sent me memes after we ended) but I was wondering would I embarrass myself by sending him a birthday card in the mail? (I've been to his house many times, vise versa) He's had a really tough year, so I wanted to send a friendly card (with keychain he likes) than a message.

[natured]

I think you should do it, why not? I'm sure he will be very surprised and not at all freaked out. It's actually a cute Idea.

[Asker]

Thank you! :) I appreciate your opinion! I just don't want him to think its weird since nowadays, everyone just messages through the internet, not really mail. Even if we do not end up never dating, I want to at least have a good friendly positive relationship between us. But I don't want him to think I'm trying to get him back and that I'm desperate or obsessed/crazy lol.

[natured]

Well you are not everyone, you want to send messages your own unique way, and it's amazing.
Sure I understand, but i think you should be yourself and if you feel like sending the card then do it. I think he already got the message that you are not desperate or obsessed, and I am sure he knows that you have a huge amount of selfworth choosing yourself over him. Only by the fact of you kind of "distancing yourself" from him, is very clear that you are not obsessed.
If you where obsessed you'd do everything to brutally convince him to be with you, but you are an intelligent young lady ,

[Asker]

You're definitely right, I like the way you worded that. I did distance myself, so it makes sense what you said. Thank you for your honest opinion, it definitely gave me more confidence to do it. I was worried it wouldn't be taken the right way, but you're definitely right. I hope he likes this friendly gesture.

[OlderAndWiser]

Do you have any idea how he really feels about you? Did you ever ask?

[Asker]

He's the type to not be blunt about what he's feeling, so that was also something that bothered me. He has directly told me he likes me before and enjoys my presence. But actions speak louder than words usually, and the there are little actions he did show me he cared about me. He also sent me memes and pics of his dog after things ended. (I don't know what that means, haha) I just don't want him to hate me since I was the one who ended it, and think it's weird because people usually now don't send mail just message on social media.

[OlderAndWiser]

He may be disappointed by what happened. You dated before, it didn't work out, and the same thing happened again. You staying in his life may be quite counterproductive for him.

[2021biguy]

Just send it, it's a nice gesture and it would make him happy.

[Asker]

Thank you for your opinion! :) Yeah, I want it to definitely be more of a friendly nice gesture.

[2021biguy]

You're welcome and that's nice that you are a nice girl :)