Is a 36 yr old man too old for a 25 yr old woman?

[aliali8]

She doesn't want kids until 7 years later. Doesn't want to get married until she turns 30. And would an 11 yr age difference cause problems down the road in marriage?

Updates

+1 y

she also dislikes the idea of him being in 40s by the time she has kids.

she is worried that the age difference will cause life stage incompatibility as they get older. If she is 49 and he is 60. She wants a husband who can still fuck , run around with her, go on vacations.

[bamesjond0069]

As a man who at this point in my life exclusively dates 10+ year gaps... i think its opposite.

Younger women and older men are way more in line with life stages and its far more compatible. Your compatibility issues are coming from, in my opinion, a strange desire to wait 7 years to have kids. Who does that? I think that would make you incompatible with even most guys your age. So thats not an age thing, thats a you thing.

Regarding still fuck and do things with the gap... thats mostly a lifestyle problem. There are men in their 70s who are capable athletes and men in their 20s who have self inflicted health issues their diet is so poor and can't make it up the steps without an asthma attack. So thats really up to the man and what he chooses for himself. Are you going to hand him cookies at every meal or going to say hey lets go to the gym together today? You have some influence here too.

Im 34 and my girlfriend is 18. My last few gfs were 24, 20 and 19. They all were kind of ehh about dating an older man in large part to the fitness aspect. However upon being more intimate they had all told me im in far better athletic shape than the guys they knew from HS and college. Because i actually eat right and exercise. So just really depends. If your dude is a fat armchair warrior now then you should carefully consider this issue but if he isn't then it might not be something to worry about so much.

[aliali8]

A woman hits her sexual prime in her 40s while men are on their sexual decline in their 50-60s. how are you gonna fuck her if your dick's not working by the time you're 60?

[aliali8]

As early as 40 years of age, up to 40% of men report some impaired sexual function. Inability to attain or maintain an erection consistently for satisfactory intercourse was reported in 67% of males over 69 years of age in another study. Testosterone decline is common with age.

By Sanjai Sinha, MD
Reviewed by Clifton Jackness, MD, Attending Physician in Internal Medicine, Lenox Hill Hospital and the Mount Sinai Medical Center, New York, NY

www.medpagetoday.com/.../1099

[aliali8]

Buss, Easton and their colleagues found that women in their 30s and early 40s are significantly more sexual than younger women. Women ages 27 through 45 report not only having more sexual fantasies (and more intense sexual fantasies) than women ages 18 through 26 but also having more sex, period.

content.time.com/.../0,9171,2007422,00.html

[bamesjond0069]

can't really identify with that. Im a fit athlete with above average testosterone levels. I could lose 50% and still be above the median average and at very healthy levels. Younger men as a generational thing have the lowest test levels. Its not weird for a healthy 20 year old today to have a 200 level. Personally im rocking an 800. As i said. Depends on the man.

[aliali8]

i trust what doctors have to say.

[bamesjond0069]

What do doctors have to say about athletes? you're looking at averages and the average man is a fat piece of lard. If i listened to what doctors had to say about women you ARE obese. Most women are overweight at any age. Therefore you are. Maybe you are I don't know. But how ridiculous to say.

[aliali8]

Overwhelming majority of men are not athletes. I'm not dating an athlete either.

[bamesjond0069]

Well then you do have a legit concern. You could try and motivate him? Tbh 11 isn't that crazy. They do have viagra and even better these days is TRT. So men are staying energetic longer than ever. So its something y'all should talk about. If he says ill do whatever i have to to keep you happy then maybe its not a big deal. If he seems like ehh im not taking pills or anything if i need them then you're fucked (or unfucked lol) I don't know just weigh the pros and cons. A lot of young guys suck in bed too so i mean many women are facing that starting on day 1 of marriage so I don't know how important that all is for you.

[aliali8]

most men spend 40-55 hours a week at their jobs, nobody has the time to become "athletes". And you can't force someone to be an athlete if they don't want to be athletes or if they are not athletic. If it were so easy to become athlete, then every man will be muscular and ripped.

Even if he were an athlete, who would want to fuck an old man? do you think 45 yr old wives are physically attracted to some shriveled up , wrinkly, saggy 60 yr old man? she would be way happier fucking some young guy that she finds attractive. Viagra is not a guarantee to work either.

[bamesjond0069]

Actually if they are in good shape women usually love older men. See brad pitt or george Clooney

[MotorcycleMan]

That is going to be up to you two. I don't think the gap is too big, and the older you get the less it matters. There will be differences and the occasional challenge, but it's all about how you handle that. Don't worry about what others think, do what works for you.

[aliali8]

I just don't want to be unhappy being married to someone that can't keep up with me by the time I am 45.

[MotorcycleMan]

I'm 18 years older than my girlfriend and she can't keep up with me. ;)
Age is a factor, but so is personality type.

[aliali8]

think about all the younger, hotter guys that she can be with instead of an old man like you

[JennBITx]

Depends on the maturity level of the other person. I try to be careful with age gaps, because I want to see the other person really love their lives

[Anonymous]

Really look at future goals and lifestyles. You mentioned everything YOU want, now what about him? Does it match? Especially kids! Both my parents are with others with bigger age differences than that, and happy, but you have to look at not only your interests, but lifestyles and future goals. It's very possible to be happy. However in this particular case, I'm wondering why you are even asking when you seem to have made up your mind already I think? lol

[aliali8]

I mean, I'm just worried that he wouldn't be able to sexually fulfill me by the time I hit my sexual prime in my 40s. Women's sexual desire increases with age while mens sexual performance decreases with age. I also don't know if I can handle, having a husband that I can no longer do things with due to different energy levels. If I have to constantly stop walking because my husband can't catch up with me.

Things are fine now because we are both still young. But I just know things won't stay the same forever.

[IDontBelieveIt]

Go onto you tube, in the UK there is a programme about a family living on a farm, Clive is 66 and Amanda 46 they have 9 children and are very happy been married for 21 years they met when she was 21 and he was 42

[aliali8]

Couples who have a five year age difference have an 18% chance of divorcing, and the likelihood of divorce increases by 39% for couples who have an age difference of ten years. Alarmingly, divorce is 95% more likely for couples with a 20 year age difference, and when there is a 30 year age difference this increases to a 172 % chance of divorce.

www.hg.org/.../age-difference-between-spouses-impacts-likelihood-of-divorce-34215

[NoLookingAtSoleil]

I stick to Darwin when it comes to age.
A 16 year old would not be too young.
Depends on how her parents raised and treated her - without history of abuse there never is a problem, we are wired to be fully functional at 12 already, we terrorise each other by waiting (and then worry about 3rd world overpopulating - they do it, we stand self-guilty in all our self-denials - it is one thing when it is abuse, completely another when it is genuine love and care and innocence on both sides)

[Fireguy17]

I have had an 11 year difference in a relationship, and it was fine.
Both should want the same goals, or at least the same major goals. Family is a big one.
The older you get the less important the age difference becomes.

[aliali8]

"We find that men who are married to younger wives are the most satisfied, and men who are married to older wives are the least satisfied," said Terra McKinnish, a professor of economics at CU Boulder and a co-author of the new study. "Women are also particularly dissatisfied when they're married to older husbands and particularly satisfied if they're married to younger husbands."

That initial satisfaction erodes rapidly, however, after 6-10 years of marriage for the couples with a big age gap between the partners.

phys.org/.../...usal-age-gap-affects-marriage.html

[aliali8]

"Over time, the people who are married to a much older or younger spouse tend to have larger declines in marital satisfaction over time compared to those who are married to spouses who are similar in age," said McKinnish, who is also a research associate at the Institute of Labor Economics (IZA) in Germany.

phys.org/.../...usal-age-gap-affects-marriage.html

[DJB72]

I'm 49. My son is 2. Evan after losing my leg I can still run around with him on my prosthetic. As for the rest, I know plenty of guys my age who are sedentary. Some of my school friends are dead from heart attacks etc.

On the other hand, I also know some guys in their 70s & 80s who are fitter than me.

Live a healthy lifestyle and there's no reason a 10/15 year age gap should be an issue. It's all about the mindset.

[aliali8]

Its highly rare to find a 70-80 yr old fitter than you. I think you are just looking for rare exceptions, not the rule.

[Leavesbound]

The only thing I see as an issue is he is likely to die first. So he'll be 41 and she will be 30 at marriage and presumably he'll be 42 and she 31 when the first kid arrives. emotionally they will be in similar places. Women tend to be a few years ahead of men of the same age emotionally. a 41 year old male will be in better financial position than a 30 year old man most of the time. it sounds like a good match to me though her parents may not agree.

[aliali8]

have you ever considered that the old man will have a hard time catching up with her physically as he gets older? she would probably not be happy with a man with impaired sexual function during her sexual prime. she probably won't be happy changing her elderly husbands diapers while other wives her age are going on retirement vacation with their husbands. Its hard to grow old with someone so much older.

And lastly, she is a professional lady. Women get financially stable with age too. So she's not in desperate need of a "financially stable " man

[Finchie40]

Age means shit they are both adults they will be fine

[aliali8]

phys.org/.../...usal-age-gap-affects-marriage.html

"Over time, the people who are married to a much older or younger spouse tend to have larger declines in marital satisfaction over time compared to those who are married to spouses who are similar in age," said McKinnish, who is also a research associate at the Institute of Labor Economics (IZA) in Germany.

[exitseven]

o, I think ten years would be the biggest difference for me but I would be williing to stretch it for the right person

[Anonymous]

No, its not too old by societies standards. It would be for me, but no its not considered weird or anything

[DiegoO]

No, I don't think so. At 25 most women's should be mature enough, and at 36, most men should have their shit together.

[ChrisMaster69]

What about the Guy, plenty men still have sex at 60.

she will be entering or have entered menopause, which usually means no sex for a lot of women.

[aliali8]

mens sexual function decreases drastically with age too.

[ChrisMaster69]

Yes so it balances

Money tends to be the biggest driver

[aliali8]

Empirical evidence has also accumulated in support of women's preferences for older men, and as you might expect, the data often overlap with those data supporting men's preferences. As this sample of Conroy-Beam and Buss's (2019) review suggests:

Cross-culturally, women report wanting partners who are (on average) 3.5 years older than them.
In online dating, women make the first contact with older men at a greater than rate they do younger men.
Marriage records show that women are marrying men who are older than they are by about 3 years.

www.psychologytoday.com/.../what-we-know-about-age-gaps-in-dating-love-and-marriage

[aliali8]

en.wikipedia.org/.../Age_disparity_in_sexual_relationships

[ChrisMaster69]

Yeah and who cares.

[DaMack999]

No you're perfect. I dated a woman 10 years older then me. We hit It off for 3 years we been together. Once you're over 21 were all ADULTS.

[TurkishDİxon3419]

I don't think it will be a problem until the age difference of 15. But the decision is yours, don't do things you'll regret later.

[Ceslovas]

Depends, if u really want him.. u can make it work..

[Sambelfast198526]

My honest opinion is they are both over the legal age and it's not that big of a gap.

[aliali8]

11 years is a pretty big age gap. Completely different generations

[Sambelfast198526]

Not the worst age gap really. As long as they love eachother

[aliali8]

love is not the only thing that will sustain a marriage. you need someone who you can do things with, who can fulfill you sexually.

[Sambelfast198526]

That's true but what if the guy who's 10+ years older have a big one and can use it.

[aliali8]

sexual performance decreases with age for men while it increases with age for women.

[Sambelfast198526]

For me I find it in better in bed now than what I was in my 20s. Also my penis grew a lot more.

[aliali8]

well you're 36, thats still young. Things won't be the same 10-15 years later

[Sambelfast198526]

Hope things are the same in 10 or 15 years time. I do look after my penis area.

[aliali8]

i don't think any man likes aging.

[Sambelfast198526]

That's true and only thing I would be conceded about is not being able yo get hard when I'm older.

[MannMitAntworten]

Not remotely. What causes problems aside from the usual relationship ‘stuff’ is outside influence or one or both having a problem with the age difference.

[aliali8]

she is worried that the age difference will cause life stage incompatibility as they get older. If she is 49 and he is 60. She wants a husband who can still fuck , run around with her, go on vacations.

[aliali8]

she also dislikes the idea of him being in 40s by the time she has kids.

[MannMitAntworten]

It is women who usually lose their sex drive in their late 40’s/early 50’s. Not men. At 70 he’ll still want to go several rounds. I know plenty of 70-something men who are enjoying their sex lives now that they are divorced from wives who lost interest.

As for the idea of him being in his 40’s when she has kids, what’s her problem? Anyway, it doesn’t really matter since she doesn’t really seem interested and should just end things before he gets any more emotionally invested.

[aliali8]

A male's sexual response begins to slow down after age 50. Testosterone levels also decease with age.

www.peelregion.ca/health/sexuality/sexuality/

[aliali8]

she also doesn't want to have kids with a man in his 40s because she is worried about her children turning out bad due to lower quality sperm. And the fact that he probably wouldn't be able to keep up with her raising the kids. she was raised by older parents herself and she didn't have a good experience with it.

[aliali8]

As early as 40 years of age, up to 40% of men report some impaired sexual function. Inability to attain or maintain an erection consistently for satisfactory intercourse was reported in 67% of males over 69 years of age in another study. Testosterone decline is common with age.

By Sanjai Sinha, MD
Reviewed by Clifton Jackness, MD, Attending Physician in Internal Medicine, Lenox Hill Hospital and the Mount Sinai Medical Center, New York, NY

www.medpagetoday.com/.../1099

[MannMitAntworten]

Yeah, I have a medical background. I am aware of the physiology and it starts around 35, not 60 on average.

You are asking for yourself and not for some girl you know. It is why you felt inclined to provide a link….

[MannMitAntworten]

Just end things. You need not a collection of strangers siding with you to support your sentiments.

[aliali8]

if u had a medical background, then why would you say that sexual decline only occurs for women? i wouldn't have posted up the links if you knew the answer.

[MannMitAntworten]

Point to where I used the word, “only” and “women”. What I said was a lack of “desire” begins earlier with women. Men still have a “desire” they just cannot perform like their 20-something selves to appreciate their desire. There is a huge difference.

[aliali8]

Buss, Easton and their colleagues found that women in their 30s and early 40s are significantly more sexual than younger women. Women ages 27 through 45 report not only having more sexual fantasies (and more intense sexual fantasies) than women ages 18 through 26 but also having more sex, period.

content.time.com/.../0,9171,2007422,00.html

[aliali8]

so you're totally wrong.

Mens sexual desire/ performance DECREASES with age. While women's sexual desire INCREASES with age

[MannMitAntworten]

Use PubMed…. It is a significantly better source for aggregated medical research. Good day.

[aliali8]

"Over time, the people who are married to a much older or younger spouse tend to have larger declines in marital satisfaction over time compared to those who are married to spouses who are similar in age," said McKinnish, who is also a research associate at the Institute of Labor Economics (IZA) in Germany.

phys.org/.../...usal-age-gap-affects-marriage.html

[Anonymous]

If they're planning to have kids, yes. But hell if I know, I like 'em young

[aliali8]

I know. Nobody wants a 40 something yr old father.

[Opinion Owner]

Yeah, that's too late I feel. And most 40 year olds don't wanna take care of a baby

[aliali8]

i was raised by parents who had me at an older age 37. my childhood sucked cuz my parents were so mature and old that they lost their sense of playfulness and child sense of humor.

[Opinion Owner]

Exactly. Unless they're immature, that would suck.

But what is it about 39 year old men that appeals to her?

Maybe she can find a 40 year old, trapped in a 20 year olds body

[aliali8]

Its me thats dating the 36 yr old. I'm usually not attracted to older guys in their mid to late 30s but this guy is so handsome and looks younger than he really is. He looks about 32. But still, I'm just worried if things don't work out 15 years down the road. I really don't want to be one of those mid life divorcees

[aliali8]

my parents agree that he is a bit too old. but they say "give it a shot"

[Opinion Owner]

I figured it was, so you might as well just said so.

Yeah. You can always date then break up later

[slatyb]

No, it wouldn't. He'll still be fertile at 43.

[aliali8]

he won't be attractive though. think about all the hotter, younger men that she can get that are closer to her age. Imagine not being sexually attracted to your husband.

[slatyb]

Many 43-year-old men and women are very attractive. If she's attracted now and he maintains a healthy lifestyle, she will still find him attractive. Many older men are attractive to younger women.

[aliali8]

I don’t see many 43 yr olds more attractive than 30 years olds. You’re looking for the exception , not the rule

[NathanSG15]

Neh. That’s not terrible.

[NathanSG15]

She sounds like a handful too lol

[Dchrls78104]

What does he think? What do you think?