How to transition from friendship to dating?

[Anonymous]

A male friend and I have been doing this slow dance of courtship (flirtation?) for over a year. I'm falling for him, but I have not let my feelings known. Signals from him have been... steady-ish (I guess? Perhaps not really). I don't think he's the kind of guy who pursues women, ever.

This ambiguity and lack of development are maddening. I'd obviously like to date him, but at the same time also don't want to push it too hard and risk a rejection. What's the best way to proceed in such delicate situations?

[Explorer91]

What do you mean risk rejection? You do realise friend zoning someone is rejecting someone. You already are rejected. So no harm trying to unreject yourself.

[Jamie05rhs]

Who says she was friendzoned?

[Explorer91]

@Jamie05rhs pretty obvious mate. She hangs around him for 12 months and there has been nothing. It’s called I’m not that into. Not I’m shy.

[Jamie05rhs]

@Explorer91. Nah; I disagree. The reason I say that is because I am one of those guys like the one she is describing. We take things VERY slow.

[Explorer91]

@Jamie05rhs you are not the majority though. It’s like going on a first date with someone then 12 months later saying let’s go on a second date, sorry I was interested I just like to take things slow. 12 months is not taking things slow unless there’s an intimacy issue going on in your head holding you back. Which is fine, but in general it’s not the situation for most,

[Jamie05rhs]

@Explorer91 But they've never dated at all. That's the point. They haven't gotten over that hump yet.

[Jamie05rhs]

You're gonna have to speak up. Speak your mind. Get it out. That's the only way, my friend.

[Jamie05rhs]

Thanks for the MHO.

[Asker]

Thank you for sharing your thoughts. What constitute “speak up”?

[Asker]

Like, a confession of how I feel?

[Jamie05rhs]

Yes, ma'am!!

[dudewithnoname]

I would just tell her that you're liking her more than friends and see what her response is

[Asker]

I don’t think he’ll ever take this step though..

[dudewithnoname]

If he shows interest in you now im pretty sure hed high step into it with you