Friend followed my man on social media, am I overreacting?

[Anonymous]

Am I tripping over this? My 'friend'/roommate has a history of flirting with the men I date or am interested in, but when I confront her claims she has 'no idea what I'm talking about.' She got into a relationship with a man I was talking to last year, talked to him behind my back and rubbed it in my face that she "stole" him from me, showing me the texts between them and laughing. I forgave her eventually because I thought it was a one-off and they really liked each other, but I moved on and started talking to a new man. She asked me to send her pics of my man because she said she was 'rooting for me.' She then proceeds to tell me how "hot" he is and said "Don't worry I won't steal your man again JOKE." I told her she can't go after the same man as me again and warned her, and she said she was 'just joking' and not to trip because she's in a relationship and he's 'not her type anyway.'

But now I noticed she's added my new man on social media, been posting thirst traps and has been liking his pics as soon as he posts them- even though she's 'in love' with her current boyfriend. I asked her about this and she said "what's wrong with me adding him on social media?' making me out to be the crazy one when she doesn't know him and has never met him. She said she'd added him so "she can have something to talk about when she meets him through me." Am I overreacting or is she a snake?

[HollyK21]

I had a friend like this in the past and let me tell you, she’s not someone you want in your inner circle. I wouldn’t bring my boyfriend around her at all. Ask him to block her — don’t be afraid to do that. Why? Because her track record with you is shit when it comes to your men. Already my rule of thumb is that if a man can be “stolen” from me then I don’t want him. However this isn’t about that, it’s just annoying that she wants to make herself close to the men in your life. Asking him to block her is simply drawing a line, and you need to stand by it. If she confronts you about it then I’d be snooty asf and be like are you really asking me this question? It’s her own fault.

[Asker]

Thank you <3 Just curious, How did you end up dealing with your 'friend'? I feel like she will go after him harder if I show I'm threatened because she wants to one-up me. I want to unfriend her eventually but can't right now as she's my roommate.

[HollyK21]

Oh I found out the she gave my ex I was with at the time a BJ in the bathroom at a friends party😩. I had crashed on the couch so I didn’t know, and they blamed it on being cross-faded. Crazy bc we’d been friends for 8 years when that happened so it really hurt me but honestly it’s helped me be more strict now and set boundaries with friends. I spent too much time with them together and i wish I didn’t. Anyway, if you genuinely think that girl will go after him harder then you absolutely must stand up for yourself and shut that shit down because otherwise she will see you as weak and think she can do whatever she wants. I’d also be looking for a new roomie in earnest so you can end that friendship. I wish I did sooner, and that’s my biggest regret.

[Asker]

I’m sorry, that’s horrible. At least you know both her and him are trash and you’re rid of that toxicity from your life 👎🏼 I don’t know what she’ll do because she’s obsessed with her current boyfriend but also obsessed with trying to be ‘better’ than me or prove herself especially with guys. I want to stand up to her as I’m really fed up with her but she will only deny it and pretend she’s a good friend. She’ll also probs paint herself as the victim to others bc she always does that.

After I move out she’s gone from my life, she never really liked me anyway and she has insecurity/jealousy issues

[HollyK21]

It’s okay love, it’s been few years since that happened and definitely being rid of them both was for the better☺️ as with your friend, if you did decide to ask him to block her, she may try to blow it up but I wouldn’t even indulge in a fight. It’s not something you’d be doing to spite her or be mean, but it’s her own fault for becoming an untrustworthy “friend”. Hopefully she won’t try anything janky, all I can say is to keep an eye out, because you never see it coming. With my friend, she was literally married with 2 kids, so I thought that not even out of respect for just me, but for her partner she’d never do such a thing. Hopefully once you move out, you won’t have your boyfriend anywhere near your best friend, she just has shady written all over her.

[Asker]

I’m glad you moved on 👏🏼👏🏼 Yeah you never see it coming, and it doesn’t matter if the “friend” is taken as well, because them taking your man is about YOU not about the man in question. At least that was the case with my “friend.” They probably don’t even like him like that, they just want to boost their ego by taking something another woman has or seeing us lose. I don’t think my man is interested in her, but if he were to do anything then at least I know what kind of man he is and he can go.

[HollyK21]

So true! I don’t think it’s about having interest in the guy at all, just that you’re interested in them so suddenly they want the guy too. It’s so much drama but you really have a great mindset about it. Hopefully it works out for the best☺️🙏

[Aurora1010]

Ask him to block her, I don't know why you want a friend like her anyways...

[Asker]

Thanks girl. He thinks she's just being friendly so has added her back. I'm afraid if I ask him to block her I will come off as insecure and she will use that against me :/

[Slayerrrrrrr]

This is how 90% of cheating scenarios start. If she didn't let you know, why the secrecy and sneakiness?
And your dude is just allowing her advances to just happen... smh

[Asker]

Not trying to be mean, but she’s not his type physically so I doubt he’d go there. He told me he thought she was just being friendly because he knows we’re friends

[Asker]

In the slight chance he does go there, at least I know what kind of guy he is and I can be rid of him

[Slayerrrrrrr]

I mean, you see them setting the trap. Yet you're ok walking into it? I don't know love maybe think real hard on this one. Better on you if you tell people you broke up with him... so everyone sees that you know you can do better

[Asker]

Hmm, thanks for the advice. I’m keeping an eye out. If he does anything shady I’ll dump him

[Luckycharms12]

Why way to be sure ask guy say with you test her

[Hangry06]

It's over for you

[Asker]

What do you mean

[Hangry06]

You lost your boyfriend already

[Asker]

He’s not interested in her though but he probably is flattered by the attention

[Hangry06]

I am sure all your exes were also initially not interested in her

[Asker]

Should I unfriend her. She has admitted also that she has jealousy issues, I can’t have her try to steal every guy

[Hangry06]

You should have cut her off long back.
The girl is too obsessed with stealing all your guys.

[Hangry06]

Better if you tell your boyfriend about this behaviour she has

[Asker]

Yes I will tell him, thanks girl ❤️ If he can be stolen from me then good riddance anyway

[In_Trance]

yeah