Do guys of different cultures love differently?

Question

I’ve only dated white guys and I’m kinda seeing a pattern here (an unfavorable one). I’m half middle eastern and live in the US and am wondering if I just will never be compatible with white men because I’ve noticed 1) they’re very self centered and insecure, 2) they don’t know how to “woo” a woman; they just ask to hang out and are so typical and don’t do anything special, even conversations with them are the same, 3) they sleep around so much, and 4) they lack passion. And I’m speaking of my generation (22-30 roughly). So I can’t tell if it’s a cultural thing or a generational/age thing or if all men are like this.. if it’s the last then I’ll forever be disappointed that passionate real love will never exist for me...

224466881010 · Accepted Answer

Sounds to me like you're asking for a man who:

1) isn't self centered or insecure. What do you mean by that? Do you mean a confident man? Do you mean a generous man?

2) knows how to "woo" you. By that I assume you mean a man who is "always trying to win you over".
- Alright ok, but are you sure you really want that? Are you sure you know what that truly looks like? By that do you mean giving you gifts all the time? Holding the door open for you? Complimenting you? Get clear.
- Make sure you know how much effort that is and what it truly means in a partner like that. Will you put that kind of effort into them too? Do you know how much effort it takes for a man to treat you the way you want? How much time and money will it take? Think of it very robotically. Is it 2 hours a week? Is it 10 hours a week? Is it $200 a week? You should understand clearly what you're asking for, who's capable of giving you that, who would want to and *big one* if a person giving you that would make them unattractive to you.
- Check your friendzone and try to objectively evaluate whether these men fit what you think you are looking for. If they do, you really have to ask yourself why you aren't attracted to them when they meet the requirements you think you have.

4) Has passion
- Passion about what? Passionate about things in life? If they're passionate about their life, be careful because I'm sure you have a hard time being fully devoted to just one thing, let alone 2. Because it's hard.
- Passion about you? Do you mean just in bed? Do you want someone to worship you?
- Are you simply turned on by someone who is very turned on by and in love with you? Sure, just also know that if you want someone to dedicate you as the object of their desire, be the best you, and are you sure you want that in the first place? Would you be turned on by a man so passionate about you that they neglect other important things in life? Where's the line for you?

It's great to have desires, but you need to think about these things in reality and what they actually entail, because sometimes you think you want something but your romanticized idea of it blinds you from what is actually something unattractive in real life.

Women say things like "I want a sensitive man who can be vulnerable with me" all the time. What they really mean is they want a man who has empathy (usually to an unrealistic level, and it's often them avoiding responsibility for their terrible communication skills) and a man who has the great communication skills they lack. This could get into contraversial territory, but women I've spoken to who have actually gotten a "sensitive man who can be vulnerable with them" actually got really disgusted by these men because they cried in front of them and really showed their emotions. The women even felt guilty for being disgusted when I pressed them about it. It's not that you can't cry in front of women, it's that you can't cry or show emotions often. Women are disgusted by men who aren't emotionally stable or less emotionally stable than them. Cave women had no need for emotionally weak men who broke down and cried in the fetal position with them and the other children when a neighboring clan attacked the village. Cave women needed strong men who fought and saved their village. Our instincts don't understand the modern world yet and we have to work with that fact.
So... Be careful what you wish for. Pay attention to what you say you want vs. what actually makes you wet, and don't judge it. Just get curious and try to understand it. It's uncomfortable but you'll learn a hell of a lot and be better off for it. If there's anything worth having scientific rigour about, it's understanding yourself.

Nightless · Accepted Answer

I can't speak for the white population, as I am black, so I will speak for myself as things are for me, and based on being a well-traveled individual in a global sense before COVID struck.
No, not all men are like that. Just as personalities vary wildly so too do the minds and behaviors behind them. Yes, the culture in which we were raised does have some of an impact as it does on us all. Whatever the culture is, they lived and breathed that for most if not all of their life. But some are able to grow and develop beyond such cultural boundaries, sometimes only in the mental sense, sadly. Something to consider.
I am a calming yet passionate individual when I feel I can love someone without being betrayed. I have been through many rough situations where I do not trust easily. Particularly the women populace. The shortest amount of time I have ever shown this side of myself was six months into a relationship. Keep in mind, I had known this individual for many years prior and decided to give her the chance she had asked for. We were close friends before all of this occurred, so she already had one hellova head start than most would. I dated her for only two amazing years before she passed away in an accident.
The woman after her only reinforced my decision to stay choosey with the women I decide to date. We dated for three years before Covid hit. Only after four months into COVID where we had to be long-distance (she was from Europe and had to leave once COVID hit) she cheated on me with some other guy, stating she couldn't be without 'physical affection' for so long. I ended the relationship then and there.
In reflection, I believe there are quite a number of men who love passionately, are very skillful at 'wooing a women' but have either been hurt to the point their trust in women is sparse, are found 'undesirable' for varying reasons, or aren't interested in pursuing anything with anyone.
And those that are, are either taken, have their eyes on someone else, aren't even thinking along those lines of thoughts. Personally, I am the latter. While I would love nothing more than to find a life partner, as that is my personality, to whom I can devote my time, money, attention, and affection to, I will not settle for someone who is toxic, manipulative, or otherwise harmful to my way of life. I firmly refuse. If I ever find someone who is as devoted to them as I would be and have mutual trust and respect for one another as that is what a relationship is meant to be (as an example, such as my first relationship) then I will whole-heartedly invest in such women again. Until then, I'll writing my passions into books as per usual.
I hope that helped answer your question

btbc92 · Accepted Answer

Sadly you will find that behavior everywhere around the world. It's not just here in the United States. It's just that in Western countries it's more prevalent. In other countries like East Indian, African, Asian, East Asian, you still have that kind of mentality everywhere. They just may handle it slightly differently depending on how traditional a modern day are and they are. The thing is is that you're trying to date strangers or get involved with strangers who don't share the same values, standards, and principles as you do. You need to be around people who shares the same as you if not much more. Those who Uphold those values.. If you continue to date random strangers you're gonna run the high chance of encounter those kind of guys. Even if you be friend random strangers, you still have the same situation.

Firstly men shouldn't be trying to woo women. But plenty do it. So if you want a man that knows how to do that didn't ask why you keep getting the kind of men you got. You can't blame them and say they sleep around and do all these things and don't know how to take care of you when you want them to Woo you. So that's your problem right there. If you like a man who acts like a charmer then expect problems. It goes hand in hand, Unless they misrepresented what the actual personality is.

Nomina · Accepted Answer

I wouldn't put all white men in the same boat. It could be that your experiences refer mostly to the culture they follow.

I've lived in many different countries and I have seen differences in approach to love, regardless of race. It's the local culture that affects their approach, from what I have seen. Even within the same country there are different cultures and different values taught. For example, in my country we have different tribes that have their own social customs (some are similar, others not) and if the men and women were brought up with those customs, you can see a difference.

FakeName123 · Answer

There are multiple reasons for that:

1. Cacausians aren't all the same, but generally speaking most cultures in caucasian nations aren't as public with these things. The thing then is, when they say / act upon it, they mean it. Unlike some cultures where the men tell all women how they love them.

2. Feminism and #metoo. Essentially the risk for many men is too high to even bother with women. If you as a man get accused of something, there is almost no chance to get out of it without at the very least your reputation being destroyed (or worse).

3. The rise of narcissim in our modern society. Studies have shown that narcissim among college aged men AND women have increased by 3 to 4 times. Essentially we have tens of thousands of young people who think they are better than everyone else. Which is a problem of our wealth and decadence.

4. Your own ethnicity. Most people have an ingroup bias when it comes to dating. While you are half white half middle-eastern,. I would take a solid bet that your skin colour looks more middle-eastern than caucasian. That means people generally stay away from you, because of that. Not to mention the baggage and association that comes with middle-eastern women and dating specifically. The keyword here is religion. Even if you yourself aren't religious, your family may be and that can be a pain in the arse. Been there, done that.

5. YOU. As harsh as it is, but if a pattern repeats in your life, then you are the common denominator. If you only attract (and feel attracted to) men who are low on temperamet and passion, then you are doing something wrong.

Phoenix98 · Answer

Well not all white guys are the same or even from the same cultures lol and everyone loves differently.

But love much less passionate love isn't gonna come on a first date much less even early on in a relationship. Passion and love towards someone is cultivated with time. Passion towards someone you know nothing about and barely know isn't passion it's obsession.

Also you have to ask yourself why should they pull out all the stops and woo you on a first date? What do you bring to the table to warrant that?

Why should some guy spend a large sum of money on you or go through great and time consuming effort to make the perfect date for you? Are you worth that, do you warrant it? What do you bring anything to the table?

You have to look at it from a guys perspective as well, if you were a guy would you really want to put in all that money or all that time and effort when there's a decent probability that it could turn out to be a one off date? And she won't go out with you after that?

Now I do know how to woo a woman

But I personally don't pull out all the stops or woo them on a first date or even sometimes the first few. I do coffee or a walk in the park something simple and cheap on a first date and even sometimes the first few. To weed out people trying to use me but also to find out more about a girl as an individual, see what we have in common, if we connect if there's chemistry and to find out what kind of person she is and if she's genuine.

And if she's worth my time, effort and money because those things are valuable and I'm not gonna waste them on someone not worth it.

You should keep those things in mind in the future because some guys have a good reason for not doing that kind of stuff on a first date.

ohshee · Answer

Well I think no matter what you have to look at it a little bit different because there's two kind of guys the first guy he's going to make it all about himself he's going to get on and get up and go to sleep
For me I like Marathon and I like to make it all about the girl I want her to experience and feel something that is so totally beautiful it'll make her flow you have an out-of-body experience but that's just me that's the whole goal if I'm going to make love to somebody I'm going to make love to them and I want them to feel and enjoy every second of it like never before

Pumpkinspice009 · Answer

Yes they do, from my experience Eastern men, first of all might find someone on streets! Like you’re walking and one might find you attractive and approaches you and asks for your number, then would do anything to please you so they like play hard to get women, in western it’s different, men don’t approach you on streets, they won’t even look at you lol, and you are the one that you should get them attention, in the eastern countries men are opposite they do anything to get your attention, so yeah honestly I prefer how eastern men act but I’m not physically into them though.

TwinkleLily5 · Answer

I think it’s American Men, not just white. Im black and my race of men are no better. Lately I’ve been attracting Indian and Arab men. I’ve considered to try dating out of my race for once. American men just don’t have those strong family morals that I like in a man.

pickedcrisps · Answer

Probably do. I know I'm a lovey Dovey guy but others of the same probably are not. So it's a half half answer. Just because you or I were both American doesn't mean your personality is my personality way of showing love.

Besides. What if I'm shy or insecure or i am overconfident and rude 🥱🥱

Aurora1010 · Answer

You know, guys from any race, ethnicity, and nationality can really love and be romantic etc but I did notice that it's different in some cultures. I think *on average* guys from some cultures are more romantic and deep in those kind of things than others

FilmGuy93 · Answer

Men of different cultures do love differently, but there are plenty of extremely passionate American men. You have to live your life in a way that brings you in contact with men that excite you. You also have to make sure that you are bringing passion and enthusiasm to the table yourself.

Anonymous · Answer

I am also middle eastern. I can say that eastern men do not treat their women well, and western men do not care about their women. I'm sorry but you will never find true love. For example, I hate men from my own nation. they're all cavemen and army of scumbags who don't know how to treat women. anyway, let's get to the rest... i met an American here and he was completely childish and not even serious. and he was in his 30s. So what I'm saying is that it's not worth spending time with men.

boomstheory · Answer

Yeah. In South America theyll black your eye and make you hold their drugs for them. 😜

Nazgol · Answer

I think it's the culture. I felt & been through the same as you, and sadly racism still exist. Those whites that you're talking about could just be racist so there's a racism issue going on. They don't see you compatabible because of your background, and that could be the sole reason. Dumb, I know but that's how it is unfortunately

NewgodX · Answer

It's not your fault
Females always think men are not good enough and I garuntee you
Date 10 men from every nation and you will still feel men are the same boring and they can't wooo females or are not confident enough or good enough for you

TommyMountainFigure · Answer

You know what really gets me? People who go to a country and never stop complaining about it's inhabitants.
If you are SO against American men, why not go to the middle east? They aren't self centred at all. Oh wait, you might get stoned or have your hands cut off if you decide to go out for a drink.

RolandCuthbert · Answer

You are half Middle-Eastern and you do not consider yourself "White"?

Interesting.

Well, do you consider European men to be "White"? I mean do you find Frenchmen, Slavics, or Italians as self-centered?

SunnySensei · Answer

Miss, I think all people act differently which means culture isn't the only thing that determines how a person is but it definitely plays an important role in the behaviour of people.

t-8900 · Answer

This happens when you raise a society that regularly beats down men socially. If you want men in the west to approach you more be one of the vocal women against misandry

Babygirl_S · Answer

I have noticed that the men from my culture treat me as an equal or superior and white men try to dominate me. I kind of like that.

Anonymous · Answer

Of course you’ve dated only white guys. We live in a society that whites are seen as superior. They try to label Jesus as white even in the movies like passion of the Christ. They teach how great of a man Christopher Columbus was in schools and didn’t mention the bad things those savages done to pave their way for the white privilege and power whites have today, and these parents have the nerve to not want religion to be spoken of in schools

Jamie05rhs · Answer

White American men were raised by white American women. AKA Karens. Need I say anything else?

Anonymous · Answer

we need to find the best approach for every single culture what we're doing right now it's not working

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