Asks for photos/messages but then takes hours to open/reply?

[angelmouseblue]

Boyfriend of 3 years asks me to send photos and messages but then often takes hours to even open them, despite asking and knowing what they contain : photos of me! Today he asked me to send him photos and I did, he then waited 6 hours to even open my message and then didn’t reply. This makes me feel shit, like he has no desire or impulse to open it even knowing what it could contain.. am I unreasonable for feeling this way? Would you feel hurt if your boyfriend was capable of waiting 6 hours to view photos of you…that he asked for?

[paradiseonearth93]

Yeah that’s weird behavior. If I send photos to a boyfriend I’d want him to hype me up and show appreciation. He’s being lame and boring. These things should be fun.

[angelmouseblue]

Yeah exactly.. I don’t want to keep bringing it up with him, but it does feel like it takes the fun out of something that should be fun.. and also makes me confused and a bit stupid at the same time.

[paradiseonearth93]

I could totally see why it would make you feel this way. I once dated a guy who told me to send him photos as well and so I did, and then he too didn’t respond or compliment me when I did and even told me once “what am I supposed to do with these?” during a bad day and then accused me of sending them to other men because he felt insecure since he thought I looked “too good”... it’s 100% on the guy here, it has nothing to do with you. I’d try to confront him and ask him what’s up but in the end the guy is who he is. Kinda sucks:/

[Avicenna]

You need to talk to him about it. It doesn't get resolved with you getting strangers to agree with you online.

[angelmouseblue]

I completely agree. I have asked him about it a number of times, made it clear to him that it feels demoralising for me to feel like he’s keen to receive a photo, only to then leave it unopened and/or unresponded to for hours or even not responded to at all. He usually says that his unresponsiveness isn’t a measure of his love for me - which I agree with and understand, and not should it be.. but as another person here mentioned : it should be fun.. and between two people in love it should be healthy fun, no shame, no bad feelings. I am asking strangers online because I am cautious to continue to raise this where I have already many times, and his continuing to do this despite knowing how it makes me feel, does make me question myself and whether I am overreacting. I can understand perhaps if I send unsolicited photos, but somehow it feels quite mean to almost beg for a photo, make me feel desired and create the impression that he is hanging out for this photo, to then leave it unopened for hours.

[Morgador]

Yeah that's not cool. Next time send him a picture of your middle finger

[angelmouseblue]

😂 yes, I might try that next time he asks.

[Iron_Man]

Unless he’s real busy or not a good communicator you have to figure it out

[angelmouseblue]

Yes indeed! I’d say he is a good communicator, more so in person than via text. But even so, a simple heart emoji to acknowledge me would be better than nothing.. it’s the sense he gives me that he’s desperate for me to send him a photo and yet when I do he leaves it unopened for 6 hours that bothers me!

[Iron_Man]

Right I agree with you big time 100% I would be very appreciative of something like that

[In_Trance]

You need to chill

[Anonymous]

Nudes?

[angelmouseblue]

Yes at times, but it varies.. for example, I might say in a conversation, ‘I’m going to xyz party tonight’, and describe what I’m wearing and he will respond by saying how amazing my dress sounds and ask to see it.. along the lines of ‘wow that sounds amazing, please please send me a photo I would love to see you in your beautiful dress’… but yes also nudes, and that’s the real kick in the guts - being asked to send these and then knowing he knows that he has received a photo from me and yet refrains from opening it for hours and hours…. makes me feel undesirable and foolish.