Can long distance really work?

[Anonymous]

I ask this because I’m talking to this guy and we are getting pretty serious but he is many states away as well as a 3 hour time difference so pretty much long distance. There are times where he gets busy or goes out and we don’t talk much , just makes me wonder if we could work out.

[FictionalCharacter]

It depends on the person lifestyle.

In my case, I live in the middle of nowhere. With not much outdoor activities going on for miles/hours to the next town. But, it’s not just me being miserable here. My family, neighbors, employees. From what I witness.

I try any means to heal myself. Smoking, trying to walk outside, calling therapists that charge a lot of money, exercising for my mentality and boredom. It’s hard to talk to my family, since we’re in the same boat.

My social interaction is online. Yeah, I’ve grown attached to some people. That it hurts and embarrasses me. Or I don’t feel attracted to them because of gut instinct. But the kind ones, I put to the test. For them to be real and honest of handling me. Though they throw in the towel and give up.

[Anonymous]

LDR’s can absolutely work — but for the right people. That sort of situation is not made for everyone, and when it comes to deciding if you can do it or not, you have to be very real with yourself.

[Asker]

Very true , at the moment I feel like we could really work out. Talk about meeting up really soon and spending a good amount of quality time together but it’s when he doesn’t reply for some time I get errrm. I don’t want to constantly ask what he’s doing or be sooo clingy just 😅

[Deathly_Pheonix]

It CAN work. But it is extremely difficult, requires a lot of patience, understanding, communication. and work. y'all need to be able to feel secure and trust eachother completely. If you are the type to be jealous or insecure easily, then it will not work. Its hard, it really is, but if you both believe it is possible and that you are able to put in the effort then there is no reason not to try.

[FictionalCharacter]

It is fuckin hard. Yeah, I get jealous and insecure. Even though I try not to, I respect his work schedule and try not to be possessive and clingy. That I try to occupy my time with errands and chores. Daydreaming about him. Only to get love texts hours later or the morning.

Even though he respects me, I feel he's not interested in me. Because of barely communication from his part. It’s only when I get emotional and confront him. He tries to assure me of his actions.

I try not to feel this way. I’ve even flirted with other guys to fill in the void of his absences. Only to be let down, feel guilty or just lonely.

[Deathly_Pheonix]

Well, if this is the case, I think you two need to talk out all your feelings and discuss if that is how you wanna go forward, and be honest with them about being insecure and jealous, it's nothing to be ashamed of. But you do need to make it clear that you need clear communication without being possessive and overbearing. It is a lot of work and maybe y'all need to focus on being friends more, at least till you can meet irl?

[FictionalCharacter]

That’s what I tell him. I have been friend zoned in the past because of guys just losing interest in me. It breaks my heart. That I say “do you remember when we first met, you liked me?…. what happened?…” their response is “I dunno. I just got busy with life.” It really hurts me. That this is a repeated cycle. That I want something REAL. 💔❤️‍🩹

[Deathly_Pheonix]

I totally understand your pain. And honestly finding a good match is difficult in the best of circumstances. But you gotta keep your head high and remember to love yourself first

[FictionalCharacter]

Loving myself is slow paced with work. 🙈

[Deathly_Pheonix]

I understand that. But try to list a few small things that you like about yourself, then get bigger from there

[CuriousMufuxka]

No. I have personal experience of moving about 1400 miles to a girl I believed I was in love with. 2 and a half years later, I came back with more terrible memories than awesome. While I say no to it working out, go for it. Life is about adventure and discovery even if it turns out shitty.

[Asker]

Oh no so sorry to hear that :( but yeah definitely taking a chance when doing these things

[CuriousMufuxka]

No regrets :)

[StrawberryShake]

It depends. Me and my boyfriend were long distance for 4 months, never saw each other once. Just talked on the phone and facetimed. Now we see each other on a regular and love one another so much. 💗 It can work. We both had lots of patience and self control.

[cookiecrusher]

Why?

You two don't even know eachother that well.

If you 2 are serious, get together and live under the same roof. Long distance is usually crap, no real intimacy or bonding. It can work but not very likely.

[dudeinohio]

Never will work