More or less been there done that too many times. Personally I’m mostly steering clear of LDRs, it’s just so much easier, no faff with “face reveals”, text miscommunications, timezone, scheduling calls, lacking physical touch, travel expenses, etc etc.
Although I’ve listed many cons above, I do still believe that LDR can work with both parties are on the same page about what they’re looking for in the relationship and how they’re going to maintain it.
If he’s not even voice calling or especially video calling, then that’s red flags if you see a genuine irl future together.
Maybe they’re insecure/shy, which is understandable, but to put it in perspective, it’s the bare minimum to hear and see who your partner is (death and/or blind people are exempt from this…) if they can’t provide that for you, it doesn’t matter how much of emotional connection you have over text, it’ll never be enough for the sort of relationship I’m guessing you want, unless you’re okay with it, then that’s fine too.
My sucky experience with LDRs have taught me to cap texting an interest at 2 weeks because it builds up false ideas (such as looks because over the phone, even with video call, is never the same as in person. Body language, body smells ((they could have terrible hygiene but you’d never know cause it’s only ever been over the phone)). and a lot of people talk differently irl than their texts. etc)
Ohhhhh
Thank you for the opinion^^
LDRs almost never work, and you should never initiate a relationship with someone who isn't local to you.
The only time LDRs have any chance is when there is already a significant commitment (marriage, joined finances, children, etc.) between the couple, and when there is a target date for coming back together (such as, a military person on deployment, but will return once the deployment is over, or a person who is away at college but will return upon graduation). The big key, though, is that both people already made HUGE commitments to building a life together.
99% of people who get into LDRs don't have anything close to that level of commitment, so they aren't willing or able to make the sacrifices necessary to make a LDR work - and make no mistake, a LDR requires a HUGE amount of effort and sacrifice.
One of the reasons for this is that your brain has a grieving mechanism built in, so that when you experience a loss - obviously a death of a loved one is an example, but so is being apart from a loved one - then after about 90 days apart, your brain starts to disengage your feelings. This is how you are able to eventually move on from a loss, but it also makes it incredibly hard to sustain an emotional connection with someone for a long time apart.
This is why somewhere around 99% of LDRs fail (assuming you are apart for 90 days or more). Everyone seems to have to learn this the hard way, because everyone wants to believe that they will be the exception to the rule, but they're almost always wrong.
Dating is something that should always, and ONLY, be done LOCALLY.
Very true!
I know how hard LDRs can be because I've been in one myself. And judging from the info you've shared, it doesn't seem like the two of you are in a relationship, to begin with. Add the distance and the success rate is almost nihil. So it's all just convenient texting and not even a voice or face-call? That's not a relationship. That's more of a pen-pal scenario.
You probably won't like to hear this, but it is true. You're both not mature enough for such a serious matter. And I can already tell that it will end sooner or later. And even if you were adults who are capable of traveling or even moving, the way it is now does not sound promising either.
He doesn't sound interested. And frankly, neither should he. Not because there is something wrong with you, but because LDRs are in neither's best interest. Feel free to contact me if you want more details, but at this point the best thing for you to take a step back and give him the same amount of energy as he is giving you. Don't let this "LDR" stop you from experiencing life locally.
#1 LDR are always difficult.
#2… Communication in a LDR is the most important. If you two aren’t willing to communicate (over text, calls, voice messages, etc), then it’s going to be a long and painful relationship that will ultimately die out. If one person is putting in all the effort, then it’s not going to work out.
#3… Why isn’t he willing to call? And he only keeps the texts short? That’s difficult to work with.
Going back to #2, here’s my opinion. Communication is most important. He isn’t willing to text or call… And communication is literally the root of the LDR. It doesn’t seem like this relationship will work based on the context you have provided.
True you are right
Opinion
49Opinion
u Have you ever met in person? Ever had a Skype or other video call?
I think if he's unwilling to do video or voice chat, you may be getting catfished. It's not uncommon for older men to trick young girls into things like that. So be very careful.
But to answer your original question, a long distance relationship can work if it doesn't remain long distance for long. If going into an LDR, you should have a plan and a date to see each other in person from the beginning and stick to it. Otherwise it's not likely to work. I see you're 15. At your age, I'd recommend not trying an LDR for a few more years, if at all.
Ohh thank you for the opinion and for the advice
I am in an LDR. been with her for 8 years. and its been like this most of our relationship but things seem to work out one way or another. there are disagreements and longing for sex and feel each other. exchange of nude pics and video calls while showering seem to do it for now. when we meet its insane sex and cuddling each other.
she will be meeting me sometime after the 1st week of Feb, so I'm excited to meet her after a long time. the longing makes our bond stronger and stronger each time we meet. I prefer to talk in person rather than chat. so in regards to your guy I would say is not the texting type of person more like you are here I give u all my time. like that.
even I am like this but my girl is so fucking clingy and obsessive.. sometimes it is annoying and other times I love it.. I have had arguments 10000's of times with her. we broke up and got back together more times than I can count but since the last 2 years things have been more steady between the 2 of us compared to the past 6 years.
I met her when I was 18 and she was 17. we were young and dumb but as we learnt to accept one another and grow.. no 2 people are the same. I don't think he is not interested. you use more facetime/ duo calls and talk about things and communicate about it. If you both are serious about this relationship then talk it out.
You are 15?
What kind of relationship are you looking for?
A texting relationship with someone you never met or you have met or you grew up together but he has no interest in caring for your needs? It sounds like it's working fine.
A loving relationship that you both care to have good laughs together, holding hands, going out for walks, meeting friends, going out on dates, to parks... have him/her to cry to, laugh with... etc...
Time to break up and grow a little... you are 15... take you time.
This has nothing to do with LDR.
95% of LDR don't work.
Mine is good and we are now living together, getting married.
My sister and her husband are married and he is moving in in 2 weeks. They are having a baby.
RUNNN!!
Just change the genders and it's the story of me and my ex. We hardly called (she even was hesitant to share her pictures with me) and trust me, I accept to remain single forever but never go into a long distance relationship.
My rule is: if you can't meet them 3 days in a week, that relationship isn't worth it (exceptions exist)
If he is your age a 15 years old boy maybe he doesn’t have much freedom in the house to call you easily
But ask him to call you soon make sure you video call asap
he's 2 years older than me.
I'll try it
⚫I think he is not interested what if you are dating a catfish or What if you are dating a fellow girl. There are A few top tips of starting to feel insecure about A LDR 🌍 partner and these are:-
1. A moment a guy or a girl ✋ avoids a voice call then that is a party spoiler for that relationship. Since a vouce call is like an icing sugar to build up that connection.
2. A moment he or she avoids a video call, then it is another turn off and you might be wasting your time on him.
A LDR can always work as long as that connection is big and strong. @sweetxpoison the moment he does avoid a simple voice call how bat a video call to confirm that you are bot dating and Alien 👽
The odds are against it. Why does every Tom, Dick, and Harry ask this question. Do they think a person hundreds or thousands of miles away is going to stop fucking others because some insignificant toad on a dating site finds interest in them? Someone must be on crack. Even people in the same location continue to date others, at the same stinking time, until they choose one to particular one to dedicate their time to because they fit all their must haves.
It works. Mainly l with adults who are ready for serious relationships and to video call. There is just a lack of bonding, if you can't even see the person's smile or hear their laughter. In order for these relationships to survive, there must be phone calls and an end goal to meet in person.
I know some people who met online and were even in different countries and married today.
Mine is working great so far, but we went to voice chatting early on and then once a little more comfortable video chatting. We video chat almost daily now.
If its just going to be short texts like that it will go no where, and long term its always difficult. So get things to a voice call basis at the very minimum since that dynamic is more like real life than texting is, otherwise i see little to no hope of it working out.
Its really hard. I had a long distance relationship and it was so boring. I also wasn't crazy about the guy so that was a different situation. It sucks though, sometimes you feel like you are wasting your life. We don't live forever.
eh... i say beware. the fact he doesn't wanna reveal his voice is? pretty weird. for all you know he could be some middle aged man. do you even know how he looks like?
Ya I know how he looks like and it's confirmed cuz we talk on insta too
Well first long distance relationships never work no matter how much you talk , text or like each other. I had a couple it ended us fading away or meting somebody else closer. Now this guy might be catfishing you especially if you only text and never heard his voice. Also short texts could be another red flag.
They certainly can. But be very careful. Especially since you're not even an adult yet. No offense. There are bad people out there that prey on underage girls. So I personally wouldn't recommend that you get involved in any relationship with someone you don't know in real life.
If you're married sure, if its anything other than the not really.
I Had Three Long Distance Relationships Before But Unfortunately All Of Them Didn't Work , And I Think This Type Lack A Lot Of True Emotions , For Me I Want To Meet My girlfriend , Feel Her , Kiss Her , Hear Her Voice , Listen To Her Problems... All Of That Has To Be Directly
Temporarily yes. And as long as both of you agree in maintaining a certain level of contact with each other. It is challenging but I've seen couples who after 2 years finally came out together and things worked out pretty well until now.
It will never work for your post it seems he is not interested and you do not really have any kind of relationship whatsoever it does not look elike you are not even friends either. That guy is not even your boyfriend does not sound he is
In my experience? No. Both parties need massive amounts of trust and loyalty and these days that's impossible. So no
this is why LDR don't work most of the time because you are not there so you don't know what's going on could be nothing, but your mind will thing bad things
Only if you're willing to move in less than a yr.
By the way it sounds, this one may not work out
Yes it can especially when both parties want it to work. One of my buddies met this girl in the club and started talking then 3months later we got deployed for a year half and they made it work now Thor getting married
I am too & same but it works. He's only away for work.
Have you ever met him? Sounds like they catfished you
I don’t think so at least depends, i mean if he can fly over Budapest every weekend i will be down for this.
When are you planning on meeting? If you aren’t then you are wasting time you could be using to meet someone local.
If you never actually met him in person, he's not your boyfriend. If you have actually met him in person and he didn't want to talk on the phone, he's a douche bag.
They are a struggle but they are worth it. Been in one for two years now and I know wanna marry him.
He's gonna ghost you. Maybe. Maybe he's just scared. Boys that age get scared...
Maybe he is shy? 👉🏻👈🏻
Ya I think that too cuz he's introverted
Maybe try some little talks on discord with him. later he will feel more comfortable
Ohh okie I'll try
A relationship is a relationship
It doesn't matter how far away
I have a relationship with the Earth's atmosphere
It can if both people are invested in it and there is some kind of endgame where you will not be long distance anymore.
It can, but only if your able to still see each other occasionally. Otherwise you will get frustrated not being able to take it further. Usually doesn't last longer than a year otherwise
i knew someone who did it and it was a success they now both live together in the same city
AWW HELL NAWWW !
And you're too young to be having a relationship anyways.
Hypothetically, yes. But I have never seen it happen first hand.
I do not think so. Let's say the girl does not date anyone other than the man she loves. But we cannot say the same for men. Maybe he forgets the girl, his love ends.
It's not a relationship kiddo, and he's not really your boyfriend. It's just an on-line fantasy. The fact that he refused to talk to you should be your first clue.
Maybe he's super shy or insecure.. or doesn't really like you
Nope. That's not even a boyfriend-girlfriend relationship. Especially if you've never even spoken to each other on the phone.
It can work but very rarely, wishing you nothing but the best, it's extremely difficult but it has happy moments too
It really depends how long you were together before distance became a factor.
Also depends on whether or not you have a firm end date for the distance
Yes it can work on a short term basis , although it must quickly materialize such as u two need to get together in person. How old is he being that your only 15 ?
If he doesn't facetime you daily, then na it's not gonna work. Im in Korea and my girlfriend is in the states, we can't even sleep without burning our phone batteries to see eachother before bed.
I would be in one if I was single but if they can’t talk in the phone with me I wouldn’t.
Nope, long distance relationships don't work
Why waste your time and effort?
I've been in many. if you put the effort in.. it can.. and will
No... it's an excuse to not be close and vulnerable...
you're young, date someone from school or something. LDR are the worst.
If you like sloppy seconds, sure. Probably more like sloppy thirds for the guy.
From my experience, no.
I would still try it but I don't think you're as desperate as me.
Doesn't sound like much of a relationship
Yes it can, you just have to be honest
Have you ever met this boyfriend in person?
lol that shit don't work
Call him.
İ think no. İt's impossible...
ldr's NEVER work, i guarantee it
Nope. Just wasted time.
It could work if you accept being a side thing
You can also add your opinion below!
Girl's Behavior 
Guy's Behavior 
Flirting 
Dating 
Relationships 
Fashion & Beauty 
Health & Fitness 
Marriage & Weddings 
Shopping & Gifts 
Technology & Internet 
Break Up & Divorce 
Education & Career 
Entertainment & Arts 
Family & Friends 
Food & Beverage 
Hobbies & Leisure 
Other 
Religion & Spirituality 
Society & Politics 
Sports 
Travel 
Trending & News 
