There is a guy I like and just when we were getting closer, I’ve learned that he will move to another city for work. Do you think a long distance relationship can work? Do you have any advice for a healthy long distance relationship? I have never had a long distance relationship before so I need your advice :(
Long distance relationships are the hardest it's because you can't see eye to eye you need to look into each other's eyes as you talk when you don't have that it will let your mind go anywhere and everywhere and once somebody starts thinking that way it just destroys everything I have tried being in a couple long distance relationships and they were good but for me I'm like a workaholic and then I got some other stuff added to my plate on top of that so I'm on the go all the time I work weird hours because of the job location there's many times where I can work really late and then there's days where I can't work at all but when you're bouncing from job to job like a pinball and trying to communicate it gets hard to do and then if that other person doesn't know you that well or loses trust and respecting you somehow the whole thing falls apart
So in many ways it's just like a regular relationship you have to believe you have to trust you have to respect that person until they give you a reason not to but it has to be a good reason you can't just be because you feel something or you think something and you don't know if it's true or not and usually it's not true but then you start blowing it out of proportion and like I said when things like that happen it's basically done and over with you're not going to be able to bring it back not unless you want to work it and make it work and try to understand that person better if you don't have faith in yourself you're not going to have faith in anybody else if you have lied or cheated in the past then you going to think everybody else does it too and that's just not the case I mean communication is good you have to communicate at all times just like in a real relationship where you're face to face and when you want to show somebody that you love them I mean you have to hold them you have to be able to hold their hand give them a hug kiss her lips or at least I do I want to feel that energy rushing through my body and that just brings me even closer and until you can actually meet each other you're not going to get that the only advice I could give you is just be you be happy don't take something and turn it into something else just because that's what you feel if you don't know the correct answer don't take it there like I said I like long distance relationships but at the same time I like real relationships I like being in the Here and Now and the other thing is even though you like communicating back and forth there has to be the time for it it can't be just because you want it all day long because you're lonely or you want to be with that person you have to understand that other person has things they have to do in order to live so there has to be dialogue about that too
In Highschool I was in a long term relationship with a girl two years younger. I enrolled in the local university although I was accepted in two others located remotely. Basically stayed home to be with her.
Two years later she informed me her intention to go away. Initially thought it wouldn’t be that bad because my best friend went there. I already travelled there occasionally to party.
Anyways she goes there and I came up to visit (2hr drive) & I stopped by my friends place. He wasn’t there but his roommate offered condolences I was like what for? He says breaking up I was like what? He goes to explain seeing my girlfriend quite enjoying herself with one guy in particular.
I was supposed to stay at her dorm & brought all this food and supplies from her parents. I arrive head up to her dorm and see some dude leave her room look at me kinda snicker then walk away.
I carrying all this shit come into the room she's acting like she doesn’t want me around. I say I’m hungry she tells me where to get food…. I’m like I meant you and I dinner? She actually sighed so as I leave room I see snickerboy down the hall with bros eyeballing me.
I know whats up. I don’t bullshit around either. So I just left went down to my car collected the rest of the shit dumped it on ground and left. Returned to my friends place and explain the bullshit they’re all like yeeaaahh boy.
She started blowing up my friends phone wanting to talk to me I told him to tell her where to go. He was having a keg party that night & told her she wasn’t welcome.
So much more drama happened but the worst was returning home & following week she shows up at my door crying and apologizing. She wanted it to be like how it was before 🤷♂️
While at school wanted nothing to do with me. Returns home and wants to be my girlfriend.
So if you’re in a long distance relationship and the other is a disloyal ahole end it and move on.
I believe the only way a LD relationship can work is if you have a tested history of an in-person relationship. This would mean you were regularly together for at least a year or two.
Without that kind of in-person relationship, where you intimately know someone, all their habits, have been out with them many times, know their humor, good moods and bad, shortcomings, personality, you truly don't have a sound basis for a LD relationship.
If you have had such a relationship and your LD separation is only a temporary one, you could have a good chance for success. You partnership is solid, he has to go to grad school for a year and will return to a waiting job and you. She's doing a foreign internship for a year and is returning to be with you and start your life together.
But a relationship where you have never met, based on zooms, texts and emails is not the basis for a love partnership. Until you smell someone's breath, body odor, burps, see what they eat and eat with them, know how they share or don't share food, how they chew, scratch, keep their house, clothes and body, whether they show up when they say they will, know how they treat you in person, you DO NOT KNOW SOMEONE.
And don't be fooled by WORDS saying otherwise. It is all about actions that back up those words. Good uck.
Long distance relationships are hard and the only one I was actually in failed. You have to have really good communication with your partner and make sure you’re still putting time aside out of your day to spend time together in some form. Mine failed because when we were together we could read each others body language and correct the problem, but that doesn’t help when there is a lot of space in between and you have to use your words. I would just focus on your communication skills tbh, make sure you’re spending time together in some form, and maybe try to visit each other whenever you’re able to as well
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I dated some body freshman year in college. We both ended up transferring to different schools. We were 1500 miles apart. We were both poor college student sand this was bedford cell phones and the internet. Airplane fares were really expensive and it was a 30 hour car ride if you drove straight through the night. Phone calls were expensive too. We wrote letters and mailed them. Ir basically sucked but once you start down a road you have to keep going to see where it will end up.
My ex girlfriend put very little effort into the relationship. I wrote to her once a week at least. Maybe i would get something from her once a semester. I was in the hospital for almost a month and she could not even be bothered to sent me a get well card. We talked about getting married and she told me that she loved me.
The last time i saw her I flew 1500 miles and spent money that I really did not have. She showed up at the airport in a hoodie covered in plaster dust and her hair was in this weird perm combed over to one side. It was really weird. She told me that she almost forgot to pick me up. That is when it hit me. I really deserved better than this. I just did not see her the same way. I tried not to think about it but 4 or 5 months later I called her late one Saturday night after 11 when the rates went down and broke up with her.,
The next day i wondered if i made a mistake but now I see that when people are dating thy are supposed to be on their best behavior. If this was the best what would she be like if things really got bad?
I have been in a long distance relationship for the past 7 months. I will say that your experience will vary depending on the kind of person that you are getting involved with. One of the biggest challenges that most LDR face is not being able to see each other in person to talk things through and to be able to share that level of intimacy with one another. One issue that I've been facing in this relationship is that sometimes my partner will become frustrated or angry and decide not to message me back for a few hours. During that time it can be very emotionally exhausting because we can't see each other in person so you are really at the mercy of the other person responding and you guys don't have the ability to just meet up and make things better.
I do believe that long distance relationship can work because when it's good, much like any other relationship, it can be amazing. But when it's bad, it can be just as bad if not worse. If you truly feel like this guy is worth it then by all means, I encourage you to see where his mind is on the matter and see if you two are compatible.
If I had any advice for having a LDR I would say that you need to trust your partner. How are you going to be dating some from a far if you can't trust them? I would also say that you need be willing to communicate, I would dare say even over communicate (If that's possible). I hope that this advice was helpful! Take care and if you pursue this relationship with the guy I hope everything works out! God bless
Yes, when I was younger and naïve. And let me tell you something. UNLESS you have a plan to close the distance and you both are committed to it, it's not worth it. LDRs are a miserable way to be in love and if you're not in one already, I highly recommend staying away. You'll spend more time longing than experiencing. We all deserve someone who can hold us and not have to spend it on wishing. No amount of facetiming can make up for loss of quality time spent in proximity of one another.
Relationships are generally hard enough, don't add another major obstacle and make it harder. LDRs are notorious for their failures. Be wise.
yes we got married last year but LD for 5 years before.
Good communication! physical time together. as always, honor the relationship and each other emotionally. make sure the values and goals in life are well aligned and you get to know them in real life.
It works, but so much better to be settled together so can support one another. operating two homes doubles work, providing support at a distance was sometimes added effort/work/frustration.
Also my relative met someone from another country, dated a year or two and got married.
yea, it works... if the two want it to work.
Good luck with him!
Currently in a long distance relationship and the challenges faced are not being able to see each other everyday and not having that physical intimacy. Sure communication is great but it can become tedious and downright depressing at times just talking on the phone or texting. I want to be able to touch my partner when I tell him that I love him and vice versa. It is hard work. It's not easy but what makes it worth it is when we do get to see each other. If you can keep the communication going strong and be very patient with seeing each other. It can work.
Even the strongest of bonds fail against time and distance.
I can say that as I had a fiance, who I lost to long-distance. We just grew apart, we waited for each other for very long and in the end consumed all the feelings we had.
It’s not worth it, the pain of it ending is bigger than the joy of being together in long distance and an illusion that you will soon meet and everything will be okay.
Currently in one with a guy from Michigan, me in South Carolina for the past few years. Talk everyday, send pictures to each other, and he's been nice.
It's tough, but we manage.
Just talk as much as you can, send pictures of each other, and just hang in there.
I don't care who you are, everyone is different in person than they are over virtual forms of communication.
There's not that connection that comes through personal contact.
I don't believe in LDRs, because you're not falling in love with that person. You're falling in love with a different version of them and it's not real
I dated her for three years and then moved for a job once I graduated from college. I was a 9 hour drive away. We spoke on the phone often, I flew her up there for some fun and even a bit of travel, I came home for Christmas and family vacations at the beach, and after a year I proposed. The second year I was away we were engaged and making plans for the wedding (actually she made the plans). Then we tied the knot.
When I met Shayna on a holiday, We started a long-distance relationship. It kinda sucked, but not because of Shayna, but the age difference between us and We didn’t talk on the phone too much.
I also had a long-distance relationship with Summer, but She broke up with me the next day, because I wasn’t allowed to do many things that many others are allowed to do.
Try a long distance dinner and you will know how pointless a LDR is.
I moved in less then a yr 30 years ago.
That's right we did it before the internet and cellphones
Yes, once. She in Ohio, and me in California. Would never do it again. Travel was a nightmare, and parting was a Worse nightmare.
Yes. Her mom wouldn’t let her talk to me long distance. I just waited until we lived close to her again with patience and faith in her promise to do the same. It payed off until she passed away…
not worth it. especially at your age. just move on.
Done it won’t do it again unless we can absolutely see each other a lot
No. I would never waste my time with something so pointless.
Yes.
A waste of time.
in one
