For those that closed the distance, how do you cope?

[lady_yumejoshi]

I've moved over to my husband's country for 2 years now, and I desperately miss home.. USA to the UK. It's insane how different a world can be when it's the same language.

How do you guys/ladies cope? I miss home, I miss the temperature.. I'm from a warm place and now its always cold and rainy.. I miss the food and seasonings I used to use.. And when I get sad and tell my husband, he feels guilty, and I dont want that.. I just want to feel i suppose and learn to get over it.. It's so so hard.. I love him and he makes me happy but it's terrifying when I can't see my mom and she's in her sixties, you know? Added I'm a Latina and we are insanely family oriented. Like.. He doesn't even talk to his sister or hug her or anything.. And my sister is my best friend.. It's so weird and different.. But I know he loves his sister. He always hugs his mom, is super respectful, kind and sweet.. But I'm missing them so fkn bad.

Please give me coping mechanisms fellow ex-ldrs, give me your own stories, what country are you from? Where did you go?

[Abbycado]

I have never had to deal with this. That sounds tough having to adjust to a whole other country with so many changes.

Do you have the means to visit more frequently (back home)? That or does family have the means to visit you? Maybe even split costs?

[lady_yumejoshi]

It's very different, food, money, tastes, travel system. The USA uses a grid, whereas the UK follows the land.. And it's hard for me to understand the accents a lot of times lol!
As of right now, it's not on the table sadly. We both came from poor families, his a bit better off than mine, we do a lot of video calls, but right now I need to start working so I can get my 5k pound spousal visa paid. 😬 aaaaa so freaking much lmao

[Abbycado]

I can only imagine how tough it is. You sound like you have a lot on your plate.

This may sound really lame, and it is not entirely the same situation. A girl in my dorm building and same hall as me last year had a boyfriend that went to study abroad for a semester. I guess he got pretty homesick, not just not being able to see her but the US in general and things he knew.

She was from the Philly area and he was from the Jersey shore area. So, pretty close really. When she went home for weekends and holidays throughout the semester, she would buy things from their area to remind him of home and ship them.

You and your family could do the same. It doesn't have to be a lot of money. Think of it as a cultural exchange. Every so often, you and your family get a little something that reminds you of home to ship to you and you get something locally that's neat and ship to them. Gives you something to talk about and a little slice of home to remember.

That is what this couple I am referring to did and loved it. They looked forward to doing it every month or so.

[lady_yumejoshi]

Aaah thank you so much, Ill definitely do this :D

I get him missing home a lot, it's crazy how not being able to find something as simple as your favorite candy or hot cheetos can ruin your day lol

But Im glad for this, thank you again

[Abbycado]

That is exactly what they did. Simple things he missed. It does not have to be expensive. Just reminders of home. I'll give an example. When she went home for a weekend from school, her and some friends went to the Jersey shore for the day.

She bought a bunch of touristy stuff that he would certainly never buy (little glass bottle of jersey shore sand) and sent it. While that isn't something he would buy since it was mostly for tourists, it was home for him.

Might be a fun little way to stay connected to home.

[lady_yumejoshi]

🥹 that's so precious omg..

I need something like that, I'll ask my sister, and send her some chocolate XD she's obsessed with it, I'm sure she'll like UK chocolate 😆

[Abbycado]

That's a perfect idea! My friend always said they waited until both had their packages and then FaceTime-d. She said it was the thing they looked forward to the most when he was gone.

Sharing your new culture with them and getting some familiarity from home is fun and simple. Plus, who doesn't like chocolate lol. XD

[lady_yumejoshi]

Omg yes we'll make sure to video call for the presents ☺

Absolutely, thank you so much for this idea I will cherish it! And real lolol!! UK chocolate is so much sweeter it's insane 😵 I don't know how they eat so much of it lo

[Abbycado]

You're welcome! Have fun with it! 💕

[lady_yumejoshi]

Ofc 💕💕🌸

[Abbycado]

Ty for mho!