Am I (24M) too old to date an 18 yo?

[CaliSir]

To set the background, due to having to work full time and some major motivational issues when I was 18/19 yo, I'm still in college at 24. I found myself starting to crush on a girl from a class right as the semester was ending and I'm fairly certain that she is also interested in me. Problem is, I found out that she's a freshman after following her on social media. Would it be wrong for me to continue to pursue something with her?

[Canuck37]

According to the famous "half your age plus seven" rule:

24 / 2 = 12 + 7 = 19

The minimum age you should consider dating is 19.

I think the intent behind that rule is that people should be allowed to date other people who are at the same place in life--high schoolers could date high schoolers, college students could date college students, etc. That rule didn't take into account someone like you, who took a little extra time to graduate from college.

As such, I think it might be okay to date her. However, you should be aware that since it's close to the socially acceptable boundary, and as such she might find you to be too old. Ask yourself this: when you were 18, and a freshman in college, would you have dated a 24 year old senior girl who had taken slightly longer to graduate?

[Xtcy2083]

Who came up with this "rule" and why the hell should anyone follow it?

[zeitgeist057]

When I was 17 and in college, I dated a 27 year old woman who had a kid. It was fine as far as our interactions, but also a bit much in terms of all she had going on in her life and I was newly arrived to college.

[Leonharted]

Take your age, divide by 2, add 7. There's roughly the lowest age you should date. So, for you, 19. I doubt too many people would give you crap over dating an 18 year old, though.

Personally, about 6 months after I hit 21, I refused to date anyone under the age of 21, because they always wanted me to buy alcohol for them. Never knew if they were actually interested in me, or interested in trading romance for booze.

[Xtcy2083]

That "rule" is a load of garbage. Who came up with it and why? It's ridiculous, if only because there is so much more to a person than just the number of years they've been on Earth.

[Leonharted]

A bunch of people live by it as a way to avoid the appearance of exploiting the young (being a predator) or the old (gold digger).

Of course, you are free to do what you like, just as others are free to judge you for it.

[Xtcy2083]

So you're willing to go along with something simply because a "bunch of people" accept it as well, and you care more about what others think than your own happiness and finding someone special. Okay. Your loss.

[Leonharted]

I found someone who was willing to go homeless with me, despite having other options that weren’t extended to me. Obviously, that earned trust and love on a scale I never experienced before. So no, it’s not my loss.

I’m sorry you are upset at my answer, but I’m not sorry for my rule. How others perceive you has an effect on how you are treated, though that’s not the reason I stuck to that rule. I stuck to it because I didn’t want to unknowingly groom and/or exploit someone.

[Xtcy2083]

LOL, I'm not upset, I just think that "rule" is stupid. That's all.

[Xtcy2083]

Don't listen to anyone below who is saying that you shouldn't date this person, because you're "too old" or some other such crap. It's only a difference of 6 years, and it's not as though she's nine or something.
You're not "too old". Go for it! <3

[JohnK123]

Exactly

[AnnaTumbles]

No you're not , i guess it’s totally fine to date an 18 year old.

[MarkyMark77]

@AnnaTumbles whats the oldest guy u would date?

[AnnaTumbles]

@MarkyMark77 i dont know

[Interstate]

I would say YES! The age of 18 is when individuals are just BARELY out of childhood, and most likely still in High School (unless of course they were enrolled in school at age four instead of the traditional five). I always advise people to seek more close to their own age. For you, I would advise no younger than 21.

[Xtcy2083]

A person usually completes secondary school when they're 16 or 17, not 18. As for "barely being out of childhood", nah, I don't think so! People mature at different rates, and growing up I knew many teenagers who were far more mature than most "adults" at the time.

[Interstate]

@Xtcy2083 Yes it varies. I speaking on Average. I don't know anybody who graduated High School at 16. I have at 17 and obviously 18, but not Sophmore (16 is Average age for this grade).

[Avicenna]

It's perfectly fine, and you have something in common, so your chances of compatibility are pretty good.

I had an 18 year old girlfriend when I was 22.

[ChrisMaster69]

No that’s fine.
it’s mainly when you date because of age that it’s iffy.

[LegendaryIcon]

Legally you'd be ok, however, if you're caught holding alcohol around her, you'd likely go to jail, even if she's not drinking it, or you

[bamesjond0069]

Its fine. I was 34 when i met my girlfriend 18 and we been together a whole year. you're good.

[TallAnon]

If she's legal, you're good to go. Who are we to judge?

[JesseJayNeak]

If she’s legal and both consent, then there’s no problem

[JessieBellll]

No and people who say yes are prudes

[Johnhunny88333]

@jessiebellll I agree I would date an older woman for sure

[boobliker]

Why? Age is just a number!

[Xtcy2083]

Exactly!

[EnglishEuropean]

That's only six years. Nah, you're golden.

[Steve1071]

Nope. Go get her Ray!

[zagor]

No you are not.

[emperor90]

No not at all