Exactly how do men have it harder?

Question

I see a lot on here about how men have it harder when dating. I don't really get how when there's wiggle room for men to get a woman. Being tall will get you a woman. Good looks will get you a woman. Good personality will get you a woman. Money will get you a woman. However, for women we have to be attractive or were F**ked. There's no wiggle room for us.

Yes, I know it's hard for unattractive men to get sex but it's also hard for unattractive women to get a relationship.

How do men have it harder?

MCheetah · Accepted Answer

Society expects men to do everything, sacrifice their own happiness for their employer/women/family/society, never gets a Thank You for any of their hard work, aren't allowed to complain about it, and nowadays thanks to the far-left, are told they are responsible for all of society's problems and are sh*t on, left and right, and called "incels, misogynists, bigots," etc, if they don't become the slaves to women and society as been orchestrated.

As far as dating goes, very few men are tall (at least 6'0"; only 20%), very few men are good looking (10% or less), VERY few men are wealthy (5% or less), and "a good personality will get you a woman." is LAUGHABLY false as f*ck!

By contrast, even unattractive fat ugly women can sit on their asses and have simps and beta males pay all their bills on OnlyFans. A woman can literally live with her parents with no job and have some guy come along, date her, and propose marriage to her, without her ever having to do anything. Women get societal choice nowadays as well as the old-school method to just be someone's wife and waited on, and and foot. They have the best of both worlds and also get constant emotional validation form society as well and are never given blame or fault for failure or a lack of success. They get every excuse and out in the book.

Have you seen the ugly women shilling their OnlyFans? Have you been on Instagram and seen literal 400+ pound women with hundreds of thousands of followers on there? (I'm not even against fat women for what it's worth, but I know many white men are). And yes, women can get sex whenever they want. Sex with a man who only wants to casually date is still better than LITERALLY NO ONE AT ALL. Men get no women at all if they're not in those top percentages I just pointed out.

I don't dislike women or anything, but they DEFINITELY have it easier in modern Western society than men do. Especially when it comes to dating. But if you need even MORE convincing, here's the most blackpilled of blackpill videos you can find when it comes to being a single man.

DaveJord · Accepted Answer

Well honestly, it just think its hard for everyone in dating... can't say men have it harder.

I would say ladies have it harder because you probably get a lot more attention then most guys do on average. Because you have guys hitting on you all the time, or would be at least interested in some type of relationship.

And being a good looking, attractive guy does not make it any easier, because then ladies expect more than a good time from you.

dustybiker · Accepted Answer

Both genders are so different from each other. When the struggles are polar opposite and so often misunderstood (both sides) the question becomes a bit empty.

taylorallen · Accepted Answer

They don't. I thought all of us women agreed on this Lol.

Anonymous · Answer

Well, as it turns out, just because men have money, are tall, or have a good personality, that does not actually equate to getting into a relationship. I know a lot of guys with great personalities who have been single for years. I know great looking guys who in private would lament how hard it was to find someone they connect to. I know one rich guy who is always on his guard, because he gets approached by gold-diggers a lot, so he finds it difficult to trust anyone.

This part might also be shocking, but not every guy is a horndog just looking for sex. Usually that's fun for a small portion of their life, and then after that, they actually want companionship and struggle to find it just as much as women do.

On top of that, men have bombarded with expectations. They have to be the one to show courage and make all the first moves. They have to provide the bulk of the income. They have to work manual labor jobs that destroy their body or risk their life.

Obviously this isn't true for everyone. We're both making broad, sweeping generalizations. I'm just trying to say that the grass isn't always greener on the other side. And maybe you're right, perhaps men don't have it harder than women in the dating world. Maybe they do. But men and women face different problems, so it's hard to compare which problems are worse, because to women, theirs will always be worse and for men, theirs will always be worse. This is because we can't experience the plight of the other.

So ultimately... does it even matter? Life sucks for everyone. It doesn't have to be a competition.

Ralpfh · Answer

It's an interesting question.

I think the main problem is that most women (hight percentage of them) seek a small grup of men. It's not enough being a tall guy, you got to be funny/have good social skills/ good looking (at least low average) as well. It's not enough to have a good personality, you got to be tall/have financial stability/etc... I think you got it.

Men, generally, should have several good qualities to be considered "a good play". Those men; who are good looking, tall, good social skills, funny, nice job, etc... are also a reduce porcentaje of them. Those men can have a lot of girls and it's not rare that they want just sex for a while. Those men are the ones that women usually want to date/hook up. The other percentage of men have it harder.

You are right, men are more attract to physical part, so being attacctive is important. But, there are a lot of desperate men out there. So, honestly, women doesn't have to be a 10 out of 10 be considered attractive or have a dates (a different thing is that a girl doesn't want to date someone she is not into but the guy he's not into her ) . Just have a healthy life, take care of them and being nice. I have generalized a lot, I did not take into account social strata or social issues, a lot of things. But I think this is a good general idea. Hope I've helped you : )

JSmuve · Answer

I will try to break this down as best as I can...

"Being tall will get you a woman."
"Tall" is generally 6' or above, of which 90% of men are shorter

"Good looks will get you a woman."
Looks are subjective. I'm reminded of an OKCupid survey that asked women to rate men's pictures and women rated most men as unattractive.

"Good personality will get you a woman."
Yes, but only if she gives you the opportunity to show that personality, which means you have to approach her, get her to talk to you, ask her out, get her to say yes, and go on a date with her. Many guys can't get that far because women seem to have a dislike for being approached (or at least they come off that way).

"Money will get you a woman."
Only if you're a top earner, which, again is a relatively small percentage. And most guys in their 20s or 30s don't have that type of cash flow.

"However, for women we have to be attractive or were F**ked. There's no wiggle room for us."
Not true. While being attractive certainly helps, men have a much wider range of qualities that are considered attractive compared to women. That OKCupid survey I referred to earlier showed that men rate women's attractiveness as a normal distribution while women rate men on a skewed distribution. Being shorter than him will help get you a man. A good personality will get you a man. Being approachable will get you a man. Staying fit will get you a man.

The problem is that a lot of women either aren't approachable, aren't fit, or don't have good personalities conducive to a relationship.

Men have it harder because we have to sell ourselves to you in order to get a date in the first place. Women don't. They just have to take care of themselves, be friendly, and show interest in the guy in order to get asked out. We have to do everything a woman does plus extra things.

Lynx122 · Answer

I think you overestimate how this works there's a lot of guys who fal in one of those categories and still have a lot of trouble. I am tall and handsome and decently athletic too but I have a mental disability. I have had women interested in me but it's very difficut for me to understand people and especially women and social interactions so either I get uncomfortable and want out, or I find a way to screw it up accidentally.

In the past I wanted to be alone a lot but lately that has changed and I feel like I'm ready mentally but my life is not in a great place atm so that's a problem. Some guys just have great social skills and experience and make it look easy those are the guys that women see the most but there's tons of guys that don't know what they're doing and it's very diffcult for them.

Slartybartfast · Answer

I'm tall, muscular and fit, fairly well off, good looking enough to be asked to model, extremely outgoing and I found dating so rediculus and difficult I stopped trying.

Women know less about what men must endure just to get a date than most kindergartners know about astrophysics.
It was easier to get one of my degrees than to get a date. In fact I got an art history degree by accident just to trying to get a date with a girl that was flirting with me (turns out she was just a flirt with every guy)
I knew a guy from highschool who joined the military to get a date with a girl who told of him she liked military men in uniform. he died in Afghanistan.

Think about that for a while

FunkyMonkee · Answer

I'm 6' 9'. I've been single for 20 years!
I'm told I'm good looking. Still been single for 20 years.
I have a great personality! Still single after 20 years!
I don't want a gold digger or someone that only wants me because I have cash!! She DAMN WELL better love me for ME, NOT my wallet!! I'm not into plastic chicks!!
That's UTTER BULLSHIT!!! I know of a number of unattractive women that are MARRIED and even have grandchildren, by now!!
Again, BULLSHIT! If you want a guy bad enough, you can get one!

Honesttguy · Answer

Hm seems no one mentions few things.
1) When men hit puberty they are now perceived as creeps, perverta and potential rapists everywhere you go for rest of your life.
2) No one gives a crap about men, they are on their own with their problems, like 0 fuks fiven.
3) Goverment is against men, cus of reasons above, you get jailed for talse rape accusations, false domestic vilences, you lose your house, money everything, and u pay for rest of your life.
Would you say that makes ot easier for ment to approach women and get onto relationships?

Kaamraj · Answer

Dating and the sexual marketplace operates on something called pareto principle where 80% of the men are invisible to 80% of the women. It means that 80% of the women want to have sex with only the top 20% of men. This has been proven repeatedly on platforms where there is complete anonymity regarding sexual decisions "dating apps" where it was found that women's perception of men was highly skewed, or that most men are below average, whereas men's swiping pattern showed a more normalized bell curve, or that most women coming out as average, which is statistically correct.

The average man is invisible to the average woman. So unless an until a woman is exceptionally unattractive, she has no dearth of potential sexual partners. Now the issue is whether that potential partner is matching of her standards of the idealized top 10-20%.

fpmsn · Answer

Tall guys get women? Good looking guys get women? Good personality? Where do you live? How many of those are without being capable of getting a single girl? Both genders have to do some work but it's much more easy for a girl in a disco to get an one night stand

Anonymous · Answer

It depends on age. Under about age 30, women DEFINITELEY have it easier in dating.

It is FAR easier for women to get sex. Anyone who doesn't acknowledge that is a very dishonest person.

Men have to pursue women, not the reverse. That should tell you something.

It's no secret that women have higher standards than men. Why? Because they can. Men don't have the luxury of having high standards.

All of the above applies to men under age 30. After age 30 the tables turn and it is men who have the advantage, for obvious reasons.

Anonymous · Answer

You said it yourself. Men have to be tall, we have to be good looking, we have to have a great personality, we have to have money, all you women have to be is attractive. We have to be everything and you only have to be one thing. And what frustrates most men isn't women not wanting them. It's the inconclusive-ness of it. It's the hot and cold of it. It's the I'll flirt with you but I won't even consider dating you.
The single best date in my life was the day I decided women were a locked door to me. A weight had been lifted. When I realized no woman I was interested in WOULD EVER be interested in me. I was suddenly free! Unencumbered to live my life and pursue interests without that hollow existence anymore. Understand I'm NOT knocking relationships. I'm talking about accepting reality is all.

Anonymous · Answer

"women we have to be attractive or were F**ked" - Not true.
But do you want to know our equivalent to that? WE HAVE to be TALL, and like you said, have MONEY or social status, or we're F**ked!!! There's no wiggle room with that either trust me!

But I don't believe one has it "harder". I think it's equally hard for either, just in different ways. And if anyone, I do think guys slightly because women are much more "selective" in general when picking a partner. They look at more things than guys do, or guys will "over look" more generally speaking. Like just an example, you think women have to be "perfect" or hot, which isn't true, but for guys, height is actually a "deal breaker" for many women. Something we have NO control over. Women can usually do something about their appearance, if they feel that is the problem. We can't change our height.

Berethor · Answer

An attractive woman only need to be attractive, an attractive man is still expected to do everything.

Lionman95 · Answer

It´s not that easy to say that being tall will get you a woman that´s a prejudice at best because it´s not the normal case. The problem for guys in dating is that we should be the active part while a woman can stand and back and just react to men trying to get her a man always has to make the first move even if he´s totally uncomfortable with that.
Offline dating nowadays is hard because there are nearly no place where trying to get to know a woman could go well. There are no blind-dates or other activities.
Online dating is either a money making business or you have to find a match which for many guys rarely happens.
So it´s not that easy to get to know a woman because it´s not true that women don´t value attractiveness many women also have high expectation in how a man has to look like.

LZPanzer · Answer

Women expect perfection and if they don't get it they more often then not take the exit.

Men want perfection but do not expect it. If the womsn isn't perfect most will ask themselves, do I need those things she doesn't have. Usually for guys it boils down to, can I get a a better deal with the next girl. Most guys who answer 'yes' are either in a mismatched relationship (bad) or they are players and have plenty of options. Those that answer no enter exclusive (long-term) arrangements. Those that can't answer usually stay status quo and wait for things to develop further.

Anonymous · Answer

"I see a lot on here about how men have it harder when dating. I don't really get how when there's wiggle room for men to get a woman. Being tall will get you a woman. Good looks will get you a woman. Good personality will get you a woman. Money will get you a woman. However, for women we have to be attractive or were F**ked. There's no wiggle room for us."

You're talking about 20% of total male population ie high profile men. Yes they have it even easier than women in dating but other 80% men really have it harder especially if they're not good looking and not rich.

FinalFantasyBro · Answer

I think the reason why people think us men have it harder is because usually us men tend to get stereotype as how useful or brave we are. While us men have to usually be the one who makes the first move and try impressing the women, we are also expected to be quiet cilvery towards women and are quite expected to pay for dates. Mainly most men need to present ourselves as catcher in the dating world.

Anonymous · Answer

Oh please, women in their teens and twenties absolutely have all the power in the dating game. The smart ones will take full advantage of that during those years and find themselves a good man as a life partner, because one they reach their 30s they lose that power and men hole the reins.

FýrdracaDócincel · Answer

You shot yourself in the foot and the fact that you don't see it is pathetic.

LIKE YOU YOURSELF SAID.. men have to be attractive and have a bunch of other things. Women just need to be attractive. See how I basically just summed up your post?

Leonharted · Answer

Have you ever asked someone out? If so, were you rejected? How did that feel?

Imagine having to do that hundreds of times. With the wrong mentality, it can be crushing. And that's just the tip of the iceberg. There was actually a lesbian woman who lived as a man to see what the differences were, and said it was hell. You can see the interview discussing her experiences here:

Exactly how do men have it harder?

Most Helpful Opinions

Most Helpful Opinions

What Girls & Guys Said