What's something that would be an INSTANT deal-breaker for you about a person you're dating & otherwise think is awesome? Why? Could they fix it?

[Anonymous]

[MCheetah]

DEALBREAKERS:

1. Transgender/male.

A HARD DEALBREAKER (no nasty pun intended). There's nothing they could do about this. I'm not gay/homosexual, so I could never have an interest in transwomen, transmen, or any men, whatsoever.

2. Bisexual/pansexual/queer.

A HARD DEALBREAKER. No way. I have zero interest in lesbians or pseudo-lesbians. There's nothing that could change my mind about this; I have zero interest in dating gay/queer women. Why TF would I ever want to be with a woman who doesn't like men? Or to be with a woman who doesn't like men, does like women, but likes using and exploiting men as simps? No. F*ck off. Good bi.

3. Feminists.

If they stopped being retarded and stopped hating all men and seeing all women as weak, pathetic victims, then maybe I'd give them a shot, but feminists are usually too idiotic to ever change their ways.

4. The Extreme Left/woke.

If they stopped being vitriolic, disgusting, black-hearted, bigoted pieces of sh*t and sopped hating white people, men, conservatives, all non-progressives, then maybe I'd give them a chance, but progressives are usually too retarded to ever change their ways.

5. Polyamorous/the "open relationship" type.

I have zero interest in being with an adulterer or someone who is unfaithful. It would take a LOT to convince me they could remain faithful if they have a history of not being so. People never really truly change.

6. Abusive in any way, physical or verbally.

This one should be honest. I'm pretty damn egalitarian when it comes to people putting their hands on me. The only ones I show mercy to are people under the age of 14. Anyone else who tries to take a swing at me is getting dropped, I don't care what gender they are.

7. Has an OnlyFans and/or promotes lewd content on the internet.

This is pretty obvious. I don't have a problem with sex workers, but I treat them on the same level as drug dealers, bootleggers, and con artists. However, OnlyFans whores aren't even sex workers; they're half-assed, lazy, exploitative, narcissistic, pathetic, sh*tty human beings for "sex workers" that make a profit off of pathetic men's sex addictions. It's PRETTY hard for me to respect a person who'd do this. At least the drug dealer actually puts in work to make people's lives miserable. So OF whores are lazier than sex workers and drug dealers, but just as harmful to society. They're human trash.

8. Mentally ill identity politics attention seekers.

You know the people. "Gender non-conforming, Genderfluid, Non-binary, special pronouns, otherkin, two-spirit, abromatic," and all the other Tumblr crap.

OTHER HIGHLY UNDESIRABLE TRAITS:

1. Closed-minded/stupid.
2. Arrogant/conceited/entitled.
3. High maintenance/gold-digger.
4. Shallow/superficial.
5. Lazy.
6. Has kids.
7. Smokes/does drugs.
8. Too skinny.
9. Looks or dresses too masculine/butch.
10. Body/face piercings.

Everything I despise in a person, wrapped up in one image.

[Asker]

I admire your openness and honesty with what some may think of as inappropriate or offensive opinions, as well as the self-examination and commitment to the relationships you *do* have being anchored in solid, important and lasting shared values & perspectives. You've obviously done plenty of soul searching, learned from past or commonly made mistakes & set a precedent for the type of person you want to share your time and future with. As a professional therapist, this is a rare and refreshing example of realistic & mature expectations and goals. In regards to some of your opinions, perhaps you may want to water down the usage of potentially hurtful & offensive language and references to other human beings who are just as valuable, deserving of respect & non-judgmental or potentially off-putting behavior from their fellow members of society. Consider this: perhaps you meet a lovely, charming & mature woman who checks all your boxes. You two have great conversations, fun and fulfilling dates & shared values about the way you live your lives. However, on date number 3, she tells you that she's a nurse who dedicates her life to helping and caring for people with developmental disabilities (i. e -"retarded" folks) and has been disappointed in your use of the now gauche term as a pejorative. You can rise above petty snark in the face of compassion & clarity, can't you? I think you can in a snap. You're articulate and intelligent enough to find a way to speak of those you disagree with without the insults and condescension. You'll come off as an even better catch, trust me.

[MCheetah]

"perhaps you may want to water down the usage of potentially hurtful & offensive language"

Nah. Offense is always taken, never given. It's also extremely subjective. If I call someone "retarded," I'm obviously not talking about actual mentally ill people, nor am I going to change my entire vocabulary every few months when words people have been using for decades suddenly become "taboo" or "offensive" according to 12 year old mentally ill Twitter users. If a woman likes me, she needs to like me for ME, not some watered-down, PC, neutered version of me trying to kiss the world's rear end. But fine, "retarded" is a word I can comprise on. At least, in public. I'd treat it like a swear word.

My values however, I will not compromise on. I've had women claim they liked me, but that I needed to "be more open minded to dating bisexuals and queer women." I responded by asking them would they tell a gay guy he needs to be more "open minded" to stop chasing men and to just marry a nice woman and "pray to God to cure you"? Yeah, lesbians gross me out as romantic or sexual options. That will not change anytime soon. I only want a woman who is attracted to men (heterosexual), even though society says men should be happy being used, exploited, and cucked by lesbians in Current Year.

So with that said, I've already made peace with the idea of never finding a partner in my life. I'm short, so that's already made it "highly unlikely" to "virtually impossible", anyway.

[Asker]

I think you misunderstood me if you thought I was suggesting you should compromise or alter your core values, beliefs or principles for ANYONE, EVER. I only suggested being a bit more gentle in your statements about those who were born with a disability and had no control over their fate. In the other cases where you expressed negative feelings about whomever for whatever reason, your statements were about a theoretically competent & capable adult who is free to live & act as they please being undesirable to you based on CHOICES they made & embraced. I'm sure you understand the difference. It's clear that you are thoughtful and intelligent.
Nobody should ever be put in the position of having to choose between their inherent moral values & a partner who truly respects, admires & supports them. If a partnership is healthy and worth investing in, it meets in the middle in many places and it disregards minor differences in disposition and quirks in service of the strength of your bond. Your partner should be proud of you and your values, not put them down

[Oregano]

Most of the radical leftist types. Just want a normal, healthy human being.

[WhatTheHeckkkk]

Uhhh, probably if they always spend way too much (or irresponsibly spending) money on things/hobbies.


Listen, I’ve dated (irresponsible) car guys, gun guys, and gamer guys etc etc, where they spend half their paycheck on their hobby. It got to the point where they had to limit on groceries or gas because of it.
I’m into cars, guns, and games, they’re all awesome as hell, and I will gladly support them and their hobby, but not to the point where it’s interfering with things like transporting to work and food, and our relationship.
I’ve dated those guys, I’ve been with them, I’ve dealt with it… It is not easy. Those things
are always top priority.

[KatherineJ]

If he wanted to date other women it would have been an immediate deal breaker. If he was a criminal it would have been a deal breaker. If he wasn’t a decent human being to others, it also would have been a deal breaker.

[In_Trance]

friends with their EX

[2pac_da_best]

If she doesn't do anal sex 😂