How many times should a guy try for a girl?

[BarryLiverstone]

Seems like girls want the guy to make the first move. Some want them to try again even after rejection. So how many times should he try?

Updates

+1 y

Thank you everyone for your answers. As most of you advised I stopped trying after getting turned down. But the confusing part is I learned a while later she had a crush on me.

Ag that point I should still stay friends even if she had a crush and gets jelly if I see someone else?

[WonderBell99]

If she rejects you, then don't try again. If she changed her mind, then she should ask you out.

Personally, I would not want a guy to make a move on me if I did let him know that I was not interested in him. I don't change my mind often. If I was interested in someone, I would let them know, but that's just me. Everyone is different.

If any girl wants you to try over and over again, then she just wants attention. Attention seekers tend to be narcissistic and you would be the only one trying which would lead to the relationship being toxic.

[WonderBell99]

With reference to your update: if you have romantic feelings towards her, I’d advice you to cut off contact with her. It’d only complicate things more and she’s already playing games.

Doesn’t seem like the type of woman I’d look forward to dating, if I were you.

[ChrisMaster69]

A lot depends on the context, situation.

it also depends on the rebuff from the girl, was it a fuck no, or a no, or a not committed no with an open door for the future.

usually 1 if it was a strong get out of my face no.

2 if it was a no but maybe asked wrong on one of occasions.

3 is entering potential stalker, pest area and should only be used if there is some interest and circumstances prevent a yes, for example exams, moving house, travelling, or simply it’s 5 years or so since last asked.

For me 2 is the rule but needs to be time between them and a different approach on the second.

[DaveJord]

Really depends on the circumstances and girl, and what meant by try for. If you mean asking her out Itimr , and she say no then forget it. But if she left door open then maybe try again, but says out right no then forget it.

Maybe after weeks you can ask again then after that say if every change your mind here's my number and never try again ask again.

For me once a girl says, that is it. I never try again unless she really come back around... and honestly that hasn't happened to me since high school.

[Allie2468]

In general, no. I don’t think the guy should continue to ask the girl out once she’s rejected him. Playing hard to get can be sexy if done right, but that doesn’t mean that after you’ve rejected the guy once that you should be disappointed if he doesn’t ask you out again. If you’re playing hard to get in an almost goofy, (obviously) joking way, that’s a different story.
Then again, I personally try to be straightforward when I’m talking to or interacting with guys so they don’t have to read through the talking-in-between-lines, that some girls do a lot.

[BirdieBeep]

Just once. Most of the time a girl who has a genuine interest and takes you seriously won't play around like that. If any girl actually likes you but wants to play hard to get, you gotta think whether you really want that kind of girl. Generally even if such a girl actually likes you, rejecting you like that means she doesn't respect you and sees you as leagues below her, and expects you to beg for it, and sees herself superior and feels like she can get away with playing this game and still get you. And don't expect such a girl to respect you or see you as an equal in your relationship either. Also if a girl flirts with you but rejects you, it can also simply mean that she enjoys the attention, but isn't actually interested. So keep that all in mind.

[zagor]

All those girls saying just once are wrong. You obviously shouldn't stalk her or obsess over her, but I know several cases where the girl turned a guy down at least once, but eventually said yes and wound up in a relationship. Depends on the circumstances.

One girl I knew turned a guy down because she though he was too short; she was about 5 feet tall and he was a customer at the bank she worked at. He persisted, and eventually she realized that there was a platform floor behind the counter that was about a foot high, and he was actually 6 feet tall. They are now married.

[Jamie05rhs]

That's just because girls are dumb.

[Aerissa_Jade]

If he gets rejected, don't try again. I never want a guy to try again, if things change I'll come around and make the move on him.

I find nothing more annoying than a guy who can't take no for an answer and keeps trying.

[Justerino]

I agree here! I’ve tried being persistent and it does not work. If I girl is feeling you she will accept a date, if she says no do not ask her out again it can make her uncomfortable.

[BarryLiverstone]

That’s what I did, stopped trying. But after some time she admitted she had a crush on me

[Aerissa_Jade]

@BarryLiverstone Then it is her loss, she rejected you so you can't read her mind that she wants you to try again.

I get it, I known women who when they got proposed to said NO, but lets keep dating and ask again in a few months, that is different.

So if she rejected you, with a not right now. I can't handle a relationship, my mom has cancer (or whatever else) then maybe down the road you can try again when things settle down.

[BarryLiverstone]

Thanks. So basically the balls in her court and I should just be friends and let her make a move. Are guys comfortable making a move?

[mikaelis]

So the main word here is had,. Does she still have a crush on you? And why did she reject you if she did? Did she give you reasons? And well it's always good to have a friend but if you like her in a different way and you confront her one more time? And ask. I mean it takes two to play. Not just you all the time. It'll get tiring real quick. . Just move on. She wasn't the one?

[AndrésC64]

I'd say that it depends on how the first attempt goes. If it's a flat-out, shut down, then I say you quit after that. I would never take it so far as to be harassing, but if the first attempt wasn't a complete blow out, then I might try a gentle second attempt. After that I would quit.

[Jamie05rhs]

I disagree with this philosophy, and I'll tell you why. Because if you set it up to where whether or not you ask her again is based on the severity of her rejection, then girls will just be trained to reject guys harshly and rudely even on the first ask. That's not helping the situation.

[Gwenhwyfar]

After being rejected once he should definitely wait a while to see if circumstances change before he asks her out again. Doing it once a week is just annoying to her.

[Gwenhwyfar]

Update: go out with her if you’re single abs she has a crush on you. What’s the harm? It’s what you wanted anyway.

[IMuser]

Do it once. If she rejects you first and then accepts you, she will do the reverse again sometime (because this is called being indecisive. If she really wanted to make a decision, she would ask for time)

[Jamie05rhs]

MHO.

[Anonymous]

Depends. If you are trying to get sex, keep asking. A lot of girls are weak to pursuit. There is a way to do it though. You want to be nice. Maybe invite her to some place or tell her there is something fun to do on the weekends. If they become rude, then it’s over. If you are looking for a serious relationship, let them reject you once, and give them your number to be able to contact you if they change their mind. Tell them you’ll always be available.

[Jamie05rhs]

Should you really tell them that, though? Because it isn't the truth. You could get snatched up at any time. Then they'll miss their chance.

[Opinion Owner]

@Jamie05rhs Yes you should tell them that. Because it’s no different from how they rejected you.

[Anonymous]

Once.

If a girl plays hard to get, she isn’t interested.
Girls make rules for guys they don’t like and break rules for guys they do like.

Example.
If you text her late and she says “I gotta get up early, I’m going to bed ttyl”..
know that if it was “chad”... she would jump to answer him and would he up all nite talking to him etc.

Don’t let women convince you that you need to work harder. Stop wasting your time on trash.

[AviatorTom]

He should try as many times it takes to win her over, or until she really tells him to get lost.

My father used to say, "I chased your mother until she caught me."

[snowboarder720]

…until she caught him at the end of a gun?
Seriously, a “no” doesn’t mean a challenge and it shouldn’t mean that you should just try harder or be persistent. This is the response of a boy, not a man.

[Slartybartfast]

Anymore than once is harrassment, move on, don't be a creep.

[Anonymous]

Once. If you don't like each other to date after knowing each other then not meant to be. If you have to try convince them that can change you too much and easy way to get cheated on. If she keep wanting you to try don't trust too suspicious she just thinks you are toy like year 1800 slave

[sirderpsalot123]

I will never chase a girl. When a woman tells me to stop, I stop. Some women want us to keep trying and others do not. I'm not risking being told I'm a creep. It's also immature and a waste of time.

[Anonymous]

Once, if it does not work, move on to the next one. Life is too short and there are a lot of fun ladies out there waiting for you.

[demonics]

"I learned a while later she had a crush on me."

Sounds like a personal problem. YOU as a man, don't have time for BS.

[mikaelis]

Never a real number. Just how special you think she is?

[Anonymous]

Only once. It's her fault if she turned down a good thing.

[ArrowheadSW]

I will try twice if I think that the first time didn't work just due to circumstances or if the lady had a reason, but still seemed interested. I think each case is a bit different.

[Caramelpie]

only one time and then he should move on with his life to find a better girl than the one that keeps rejecting.

[Anonymous]

A wise woman will reject the first advance, whether she's actually interested or not. Try one more time, and then leave her alone

[Jamie05rhs]

Why the fuck would she do that?

[Opinion Owner]

@Jamie05rhs because how you handle rejection says more about you than almost any other situation you could be in. If you can take it with dignity, it shows you have class and humility

[Jamie05rhs]

I'm sorry, but that's dumb as fuck, bro. If she wants to test a guy then she can reject a date. Not reject the whole mfin' dude!

[Opinion Owner]

Somebody can't even handle the thought of rejection, I see

[Jamie05rhs]

Someone's too snarky for their own good, I see.

[Arichip]

I don't know
I don't play games like that but some of my friends do.

[SecretGardenBlood65]

I think if you get rejected in the first step, give up. too many are abused.

[clampfan101]

Either the third timer’s the charm, or three strikes and you’re out. lol

[Anonymous]

Once. And only once. If it takes her more than one time to say yes she's a flake.

[Opinion Owner]

I understand Barry. Ain't a guy alive who hasn't experienced this. This is why I tell guys don't take it personal. And don't try to extract any logic from it. Just take it for what it is and move on. It's possible she was baiting you. But it's also possible she has baggage in her head that only she can sort out which is the reason for her rejection. That's why you needn't t a ke it personal. Most the time with women it's not you it's them.

[linka_pat307]

I think it's not about you trying but understanding what she really feels

[BarryLiverstone]

That’s a challenge because what if she isn’t clear with how she feels?

[linka_pat307]

I know it can be hard but she must be feeling something or being stopped by the reality

[BarryLiverstone]

We all have diverse feelings. But if we can’t communicate then it’s hard to know

[linka_pat307]

Yeah but sometimes it's best kept un sopken

[BarryLiverstone]

No one is a mind reader. So it unspoken means nothing happens

[linka_pat307]

Things happen but don't have courage to express

[Bluemax]

Very well put.

[DWornock]

Twice is enough. Any more is sexual harassment.

[BarryLiverstone]

After trying three times, I stopped. Then learned she had a crush on me

[DWornock]

Most people like to point out an extremely rare exception as if though exceptions prove the rule; they don't. Even so, twice would suffice. If after asking twice, you stop asking, if a girl is truly interested, she will find a way to let you know.

[cloud9vortex1234]

Once, but yes, I would try again if I found later she liked me.

[Mystery11137girl]

I think 6 times he should try

[Kelsey07]

I kinda think twice but i have no idea really

[exitseven]

how about 3 strikes and you are out.

[TacosRAwesome]

Give it at least a few months before asking again.

[Jamie05rhs]

Somewhere between zero and one times.

[Truthatanycost]

Once.

[Dilekkk]

Till he start to dislike her

[Anonymous]

Zero times. Guys need to stop chasing

[In_Trance]

Once

[Pohjolan]

Once.