Guys, if you saw the girl you like bullying another girl?

[Anonymous]

If you saw the girl you like/love bullying another girl would it turn you off? Or would you still like her?

[HighlyVolatile]

I guess it's kind of contextual. I might try to persuade her to stop at least. I had an ex who was kind of mean to other girls sometimes but mainly because she worked in showbiz.

So I think she was constantly used to being held to high standards about how she dressed and presented herself on stage. Yet she would do the same sort of thing scolding and teasing other girls for how they dressed.

I wasn't turned off since I could understand where it was coming from, but I tried to get to become more tolerant and realize that not every girl out there has to conform to showbiz standards in how they dress and present themselves.

[HighlyVolatile]

In her case, I don't think it was coming from a mean-spirited place, just an insensitive one. All her life she was performing on stage as an acrobat. She had people telling her how to dress, how to act, how to present. So I think she didn't realize how mean she could be doing the same to other women. I think after I tried to persuade her a bit, she started to understand better. Oddly as attractive as she was, she didn't have many friends outside of her circus troupe. So she only knew this kind of showbiz lifestyle.

[HighlyVolatile]

If it was coming from a genuinely mean-spirited and cruel place, definitely a turn-off for me.

[Asker]

True, I think there's a difference between being strict/bossy and being mean-spirited and bitchy. Sounds like she was the former and not the latter

[HighlyVolatile]

That's a good way to put it. Like I think she was being bossed around a lot herself and it just seemed not to occur to her to avoid being like that with other people. She was a sweetheart once you got to know her, but I think just a little bit insensitive as a result of her life.

[HighlyVolatile]

She also trained like a maniac for her craft. Her hands were rock hard from callouses doing things like gripping ropes and harder than any man's hand I ever shook! She was sort of out of touch with ordinary people in general. It's like the closest I ever got to dating a superhuman. :-D But she was also insensitive a bit in ways we might expect of someone like that.

[genericname85]

That would change my feelings. But I'd try to figure out if there's some redeeming backstory first.

[Asker]

What if it was because she liked you and bullied another girl who also liked you? Like trying to humiliate her in front of you etc

[genericname85]

Well I'd tell her that i chose her, cause i prefer her, so she has no reason to be so defensive about her relationship with me and that i don't like how she treats those other people.

If i notice a change, then all is good. If she keeps doing it, I'll consider ending it.

[genericname85]

Like i will make her understand that when i commit to her, calling her my girlfriend, there's no point in fend of other girls. Cause even if the other girl is more attractive to me, i already made up my mind at that point. Like nothing is gonna change my decision to be with her except her very own behavior and this behavior definitely has a more negative impact on our relationship than other girls from my point of view.

[Asker]

I get that, thanks! but what if she’s outright bullying other girls who she is jealous of?

[genericname85]

i don't think i'd be with her to begin with...

[UniquelyBasic]

Instant turn off

[Qwerrtty]

Turn off