How should I reconnect with a girl that I really liked but haven’t spoken too in a while because of my own personal issues?

[Anonymous]

I met this girl in my college in September and we both rlly liked each other and went on a couple dates in December. She went away for all of January because of Winter Break, and we lost contact. I haven’t messaged her since because I was dealing with a lot of family issues and felt depressed. I was abusing weed, nicotine and even harder drugs but I finally got my life back together in recent weeks. I still have such strong feelings for her, but I don’t know what to say after such a long time. Should I explain everything and ask her out for dinner or something or would that be too overwhelming for her. Any advice would be appreciated.

[Anonymous]

First off, she may no longer be single. You last dated her in December—nearly five months ago. I only say this because you don’t want to get your hopes up and end up depressed again and fall back into bad habits. Attractive women don’t stay single long.

Definitely don’t tell her about all of the things you’ve been dealing with. That’s a lot of heavy information. That’ll overwhelm her, especially since you haven’t spoken in a while and you’re tying to reconnect. She may also judge you for your drug use potentially or depression and think that you’re no longer an option.

Just tell her you’ve been spending time with your family and you’ve been focusing on cleaning up your diet and just trying to be a healthier person. Maybe mention you’ve been trying to get back into exercising or something. These aren’t out and out lies. You have been spending time with your family (dealing with issues) and you have been trying to become a healthier person.

You don’t want to hit her with a big truth bomb, or worse, start venting to her like she is some therapist telling her all you’ve dealt with. You don’t want to scare her away or set up that dynamic. You’re trying to reconnect. Keep things light.

Best of luck to you and congrats on your personal successes becoming a better you.

[AviatorTom]

Ask her out and just tell her you've been working through some personal issues. If she presses you for details, tell her whatever you're comfortable with, you can be as vague or specific as you want.

[IsoUser]

First off don't stalk her send her a text message and go from there.