How would a guy feel if the girl he uses for sex vanished in the middle of the night and ghosted him?

[Anonymous]

There is a guy who I used to hook up with and really wanted to date since I felt there is connection. He said he wants to, too.

Long story short, I ended up feeling like he sees me as an last minute opinion and uses me for free sex. Even though he says he likes me a lot, gives forehead kisses, cuddles etc. Last night we had sex for all night, we ate, drunk, watched tv, cuddled. We both were affectionate. End of the night we went to sleep by snuggling, after he fell asleep I left him at his bed. I didn't say anything. We supposed to wake up together

He texted me after he woke up "Where did you go? baby?" I only said "Home" and never texted or saw him again

How would a guy feel in this kind of situation?

[FilmGuy93]

Honestly? It's been such little time that I would be slightly disappointed, and nothing more.

Now, if you ghosted me and never spoke to me for like a month or something, I would be irritated because I am so sick of women just assuming they know my intentions and never bothering to just check with me. You said you wanted to date him, he said he likes you too. I'm curious about what happened that you got "no" vibes from that situation?

I mean you spent an entire evening being affectionate, having sex, and enjoying each other's company. From the male perspective this early on, you not being down to stick around is more puzzling than anything else.

[Asker]

In beggining of the night (Around 9pm) He made "I don't deserve you, I like you and care about you a lot but this is all I can do" talk!!! I felt rejected & upset & shocked. Especially after he texted me he does want to date with me, too. l guess he said that to sleep with me again... I didn't know how to react, played cool and kept spending the night with him. We both are very affectionate types. Around 4/5am, he ended up saying "I love you" I got second shocked. But I had finally lost my all desire to work things out after me all trying

[FilmGuy93]

Ugh... so he's pulling the "I don't think I'm worthy of love so I'm going to push you away so you can't leave me." I hate that crap. Like dude, stop looking for reasons that shit can't work. You already have the relationship, you're already making it work, just fuckin go with it. My ex girlfriend was the exact same way. For an entire year, she's trying to act like we aren't a couple because she can't "emotionally handle romance."

I"m sorry you had to go through that. I hope you can find someone more emotionalyl mature.

[Asker]

I have no clue how he actually felt

[Asker]

No indeed he was just bullshitting & giving excuses to not to be with me. I got upset. I lost my all interest since I pursued relationship with him and I had enough. That's why I left...

[Wubs3000]

Sounds kinda like you were just insecure and ghosted him, which in that case he would probably feel very hurt and might cause him to close his heart for a bit because he was vulnerable and you hurt him.

But if he was just using you for sex and being manipulative, tbh it doesn't matter how he feels he's a dick and just using you. But I don't think he would feel very bad, and if he did it wouldn't last long.

[Wubs3000]

Saw the other post with details about I dont deserve you talk. Honestly thats just a huge turn off he could be using it so that you guys dont have a relationship and to push his feelings away. Really annoying and bi poler from him. If you dont like him anymore, just concisely break it off

[Asker]

I still like him but it was stupid to stick around. He always gave excuses... I swim against the stream... We had effortlessly nice time more than even I expected... He probably didn't except it too. We had sex, tv, forehead kissed, snuggled, (even fart and laughed😂) sitting in silence very comfortably... It wasn't usual thing for me, it might was usual for him. I never know. I just hoped him remember me & be regretful

[Asker]

He maybe wanted to put me on friends with benefits category... I'm not sure how he really felt.

[BabyPrincess0]

He probably feels like he can easily go get free, cheap easy sex from another girl and if not, he can just pay a prostitute and she won't bother him with texts afterwards, either.

That's his mindset. Not saying I agree with it.

[Asker]

He didn't feel bother my text afterwards. He's the one who texts me where did I go.

[Pyrofox]

I'd feel like then its okay to just move on and I wouldn't look back. Especially if your only response is you went home. I'd probably also assume I was the problem.

[Asker]

He was the problem. I was the one who put effort. I hoped he felt a little regretful.

[Asker]

What makes a difference me for only saying "Home"

[Asker]

Why especially if my only response "home" ? why made a difference? I only said "Home" though.

[SamIam96]

I'd be disappointed, but not surprised. It sounds like there's a disconnect between yours and his expectations. He seems to really like you, but doesn't have a romantic interest. You seem to want more from him. It's never a good thing when expectations don't align.

[Asker]

I had pulled back for a while. Then he texted me, and I said "We don't have the same intentions" He said "Dating? yes we do" He probably said that to fuck me again. I finally lost all of my interest. I hoped him to be a little regretful.

[SamIam96]

It sounds like you have a nice evening. More than the minimum just to get laid.

Have you thought about inviting him out somewhere? Coffee or lunch or something where sex isn't an option.

You have nothing to loose by talking about what you want. Maybe you'll be surprised.

[Asker]

Believe me I even asked for that too. I offered him dinner date. He works at hospital long hours so he gave that as an excuse. That night he said "I love you" but I was finally done with him it didn't mean anything.

[Asker]

I did invited him. I told him let's date he take me out dinner. Well he said he's busy so he didn't. So eventually I lost interest and left

[Asker]

What you think?

[SamIam96]

Have you had any contact with him? (DM if you'd prefer chatting there.)

[SamIam96]

sorry... I didn't see your response, it was minimized. I think you did the best thing you could given the circumstances. You and he have different interests. I wouldn't be surprised if you miss what you had. It certainly wasn't the relationship you wanted, but from your description, it had some good aspects.

Have you met someone new?

[Asker]

We haven't contacted. He might expect me to contact him first because I left him, otherwise he just didn't care. I do miss him.

[SamIam96]

If you're still having feelings for him, I still think you have nothing to loose by contacting him. Try to sound fun, upbeat -- like a person he'd enjoy being with.

[Asker]

My goal was romantic relationship with him. So I wouldn't want sound fun.

[SamIam96]

Everyone wants a romantic relationship. Like sex, it often isn't the first thing. Try to be a person he'd want to hang out with. The romance will follow.

[Whatever2929292]

You were using him for sex too... You need to use your words he does not know why you did that and personally, truthfully, and honesty even if you're in the right here I think it's cowardly

[Asker]

He doesn't deserve an explanation since he's been using me for sex and he knows what he did

[Whatever2929292]

Again I think it's cowardly but do what you're going to do. Don't ask for my opinion to argue with me. I told you you're in the right. But he don't know why you are just ignoring him either

[Asker]

I don't argue thanks for opinion.. He knows I pursue a relationship with him and I'm just done with him... I just wanted him to feel bad

[Whatever2929292]

Asker. You really don't want to be with someone like that. He might feel bad and he might now. I say you use your words to express how he has hurt you and break up

[SiberFox]

Establish the relationship before you have sex, otherwise he gets what he wants and doesn't have to put much effort.

[IsoUser]

My guess is that he would be extremely horny walking around like a Penguin with his trousers at his ankles. LMFAO 😉😁😁😁😁😁😍

[Asker]

Lol why

[zagor]

A little weird. For about 2 hours. After that, well at least there was sex.

[Asker]

Wouldn't you be a little upset since you actually had nice time and you might miss something could be nice

[zagor]

If we had been going out for some time and had some emotional investment, yeah. But if it was just a few weeks, even if I thought I had found someone really special, then it wouldn't be too bad.

[Jouth]

You seem like you're paranoid.

He seems to like you.

[Asker]

yeah I'm paranoid that's why he told me "I don't deserve you"

[Jouth]

Like he doesn't deserve you?

"I don't deserve you" can be used as a way of praising how incredible someone is.

[Asker]

It felt like gentle rejection