How to tell a guy I'm going on dates with that I don't feel ready for physical stuff just yet?

[Anonymous]

I had a very very bad physical experience with a number of men when I was 16. Because of this I dislike physically sexual contact even kissing when I don't know someone very well.

I've been friends with this guy for a year and been on one date with him but he's very physical and has invited me over to his tomorrow night. I know he wants sex.

How do I explain to him that I am interested I just feel uncomfortable being this physical with him this early on without having to talk about my traumatic past?

[BarryLiverstone]

You can tell him something like this:


I am looking forward to more dates with you as I feel like there is potentially a romantic connection between us. But I respect you enough to let you know now that I wanna focus on our emotional energy first and will be more comfortable with physical things like kissing in the future once we build up the emotional bond. While some people are excited about being sexual early on my boundaries are such that I wanna trust you immensely so that I feel safe once we start to explore that sexual aspect of which I’m very much looking forward to in the future

[BarryLiverstone]

Also let him know you would rather meet him in public places for the first few dates and appreciate the offer to visit his house but wanna save that visit for later on

[BarryLiverstone]

If you told him this how do you think he would respond?