When dating should you go by actions or words?

[Anonymous]

This guy told me he kinda only wants a physical relationship. Though his actions says he wants more. Takes me on dates. Spends the night. Cuddles with me.

Actions

Words

Both

[RavVid]

A Latin girl once said to me that Latin guys will tell girls they are beautiful and all sort of wonderful sweet nothings and contrasted that with Anglo guys. She maintained Anglo guys showed their regard by doing things for her such as washing her car. And other all she preferred the Anglo way to the Latin way as sweet nothings tend to be froth and bubbles but car washing is more substantive.

I'm not sure how accurate this is but I do know that Italian guys can call out to a passing girl 'Hey Bella' and they get a smile whereas I would probably get a glare if I called out 'Hey Beautiful'. Cultural differences. Italian guys have a way of doing it that as an Anglo I don't.

This the long way of discussing action vs words but I needed to set context.

I would think this guy is indeed showing you he does indeed like being with you and sharing affection with you by cuddling. It is not just limited to him mounting you. But then sleeping beside a girl is very pleasant as is cuddling a girl. Both are sex by other means so to speak.

So I think his actions are more akin to 'Hey Bella' sweet nothings. And his words are more actions of establishing a set boundary that rules out a deeper relationship and I think you need to assume he means it. Depends on what you want at this point in your life. Maybe you want the intent of an enduring relationship or maybe you are over that and just want some froth and bubbles. Which do want?


I do think you are getting froth rather than substance.

However a friend was in a long term friends with benefits but ended up asking her to marry him as he realized there would be a big hole in his life if she went elsewhere. So it can transmogrify. Nothing about guys and gals are simple.

[peedy]

Go with your heart because your head will just screw you up

[Xoxocutekitty]

Go off of the difference between words and actions.

Does he promise to follow up via text? And after 3 days you're wondering if you should text him first? Next!

Or does he promise to plan a date, and then goes the extra mile bringing a small gift and asking tons of questions to get to know you? Ding ding!

Anyone with half a mind can show up, text back, and plan a few days in advance. If someone likes you, you WILL know.

[Hrumf]

Words are easy. Promises can be very manipulative. If it is followed up with consistent action/follow through and not only when a person wants something from you, it shows an effort and that he/she means what they say. Action has much more meaning than words.


Actions over words all day, every day.

[Pinay_ako]

Actions speak louder than words. Words are empty. You can say you love me but if your actions speak otherwise, then it’s useless.

[Smoke-n-Growls]

Personally, if their actions don't match their words, or vice versa, that's a big problem.

So I go by both.

Consistency and honesty are sexy.

[libsaretards]

Both. If they do not match, then they are lying through their teeth.

[TenderFantasy]

Actions definitely. Words are cheap. Talk is cheap.

Learned that in life long ago. Even now.

[letuswaltzforthedead]

actions, talk is cheap. Maybe he's being honest but he wants to hang out as "friends" (in the sense as he doesn't view it as a complete relationship)

[ilgirl89]

He just wants to have his cake & eat it too. Actions always speak louder than words because subconsciously maybe he doesn't even know what direction life is pulling him toward. There are more factors at play than what someone just wants for their own life. Unless you have complete power over your own life..*dreams...**

[LazerBean]

In this particular situation, I would definitely believe his words. Cuddling and spending the night doesn't necessarily mean anything.

[boredgal]

he already told you he just wants a physical relationship, the things you mentioned are just part of it.

[petitedollbabee]

Actions. Words mean nothing unless their actions follow those words.

[WhitneySnow]

He kinda likes you but he doesn’t wanna get committed

[Anonymous]

Just because a guy likes cuddles spending nights etc doesn’t mean he wants to be with you long term. You ladies have no idea how starved for any kind of physical affection men can be

[UniquelyBasic]

Actions are more telling than words.

[AimeeKyle]

Both, but actions are more reliable.

[Flower7]

Actions for sure. Words mean nothing.

[MCheetah]

Actions for 75% of it, words for 25%.

[boldlyblu]

They both have to match or it's no good

[Embracelife]

Actions show they are honest

[NYCQuestions1976]

Both are important.

[Wise4myage]

Actions always.

[Celticwolf78]

U can go by both if u know how to read both

[Guy13]

Actions...

[countrygirl8754]

Both