I have a good job, money, car, house. I am a lazy introvert nerd. I don't have muscular body. A girl rejected me for this reason. Is it so important?

[Anonymous]

Updates

+1 y

Do girls really want a life partner who looks like a fashion model? What about nerds and simple guys? Aren't they good humans or make good life partners? Is social media, TV series, movies, instagram, fashion world manipulating them? Are girls away from reality of life? Do we all men have supermodel looks?

[Screenwriter]

Might be on her "list" of things she wants in a man. Rather shallow because anyone can improve their body tone with exercise. You DO say you're lazy, so perhaps she didn't like that aspect of you if she was an exercise queen.

Everyone has preferences..

[Asker]

You are right. I'm busy in my work and I hardly get few hours to sleep. I thought girls will understand it, if I explain. How can I be perfect?

[Asker]

Yes I would definitely try to improve myself if a girl comes in my life. I'm naturally a career focused guy.

[Screenwriter]

Here's the lowdown, asker. A woman wants to see that you physically take care of yourself BEFORE she knows you. You don't have to look like a supermodel or movie star. Just be fit.

If you're spending all your time on your career and none on yourself, that's bad advertisement. No woman wants a man who doesn't take time to take care of himself.

Your priority is always yourself first and foremost. Everything else is second. If you don't take care of yourself, you can't take care of anything else: that means your career, your cat or dog or bird, your home or your family obligations. AND, if you're only getting a few hours of sleep, something ELSE is wrong in your life. Everyone needs at least 6-8 hours of sleep a night for their bodies and minds to function properly. If you have some kind of job where you aren't getting proper sleep, you need to find something else. There are few things that are as important as proper sleep. If your sleep is off, so is your eating, your thinking, your body functions.

I get the feeling that you aren't living well and therefore YOU ARE NOT WELL in general. Again, this is bad advertisement. Who can date someone who's tired all the time? Too career focused? In fact, you CANNOT make time for dating if you only get a few hours of sleep per night.

You need to reorganize your priorities and focus on what is healthy and on happiness. No one ever regrets not spending enough time at work on their deathbeds. But everyone regrets not spending enough time with family, friends and enjoying life...

[Asker]

I agree, I will try to change.

[Screenwriter]

Start small. Get more sleep. Wake up tomorrow and walk for half an hour either early in the day or right before bedtime. Walk every other day. After a week, add 15 minutes to your walk. If you have a bike, alternate walking and biking. Put in the same time. You don't want to get bored.

After three weeks you should be walking or biking an hour every other day. If you're only sleeping three or four hours a night. Work yourself up to six hours by the end of a month. If you can't do it on your own, see your doctor and get a mild prescription sleep aid. They are non narcotic and safe. Benadryl tabs can help you fall asleep too. By the end of the second month, you can be up to 7 hours. Month three, between 7 and 8 hours.

It's no big deal if you miss a walk or a bike or sleep short one night a week. The point is to BE CONSISTENT. The goal is 5 nights out of seven sleeping well. 3-4 nights out of a week exercising aerobically.

After three months of being consistent... you can add a weights routine to increase your muscle tone and strength. THAT will make exercising and doing everything else easier. Exercising will also help you sleep better and longer...

During all this, look at your food habits. Are you eating healthily? Lots of fruits and vegetables, lots of water, fish, no coffee after 6 pm. No drinks with caffeine after 6 pm. No computer use after 9 pm, turn off the TV so the blue light won't keep you up. These are all tips and tricks people learn after years of trying to sleep, eat and feel better. Just passing them along!! Good luck...

[Asker]

See you understood me. Why other girls can't?

[Asker]

Dating and marriage are not as complicated as you think. We have to make some adjustments if you love your partner.

[Screenwriter]

You may be meeting young women who want to immediately embark on a longterm relationship and want their man well-packaged and well-balanced. I might understand WHERE YOU ARE. But this is no prediction of where you MIGHT be in the future.

I would not think you are a good bet if you don't seem to be taking care of yourself, sleeping enough, eating well and having a work /life balance. it is NOT about IF a girl comes into your life. You should be in good shape NOW so a girl CAN come into your life! To attract one. This is not about PERFECTION! It's about doing as well as you can. Saying you're lazy about self-maintenance is not doing as well as you can. ONLY focusing on career is not either. Being out of balance is also not the best way.

You'll find you'll FEEL much better as well as look much better and more attractive with just a few adjustments.

[Asker]

So you are telling me, to be prepared.

[Screenwriter]

Exactly. You have to present an attractive package. And even after landing a partner, you have to keep yourself in good repair. It's about self knowledge and self respect. And about respect for your partner. Are you attracted to women who describe themselves as lazy, career-oriented nerds? Who aren't in good shape? Of course you're not...

Maybe there are lackadaisical types who are satisfied with others who are the same. Good luck finding this type of person. I"d rather show that I cared about myself and my family and my job. Have a good set of interests outside work, am a good conversationalist, like to travel. If you have no hobbies or have given up your hobbies for work... renew your interest in those things because they make you interesting.

It's the whole package. Make it a good one.

[SecretsofKB]

For what reason exactly. You stated a few things.

[Asker]

For not having muscular body and abs.

[SecretsofKB]

To some people that is important to have. But that does show you the character of that girl if that's the reason she rejected you. I wouldn't worry about her if that's her reasoning

[Asker]

I want to know what? majority of the girls think nowadays.

[Avicenna]

You need to be interesting to at least some of them. Why else would they want to spend time with you?

[OddBeMe]

Well, yeah. If you want a “hot” girl you have to be physcially attractive yourself.

[Dinklex3]

To her it is.

There are plenty of girls who don't care about that. Just find someone else who doesn't mind.

[Midgetmcwidget]

Why do you want a muscular body for? Stuff that girl, you don’t need her.

[UniquelyBasic]

Thats up to you if it is