My male friend (we are just friends before anyone asks) started dating a girl a year and a half ago. This is his second girlfriend. When they first started dating, she seemed really nice and sweet and we all got along with her and would invite her out with us. Then literally 3 weeks after they started dating, they became official and she moved in with him. It was a whirlwind romance and he quickly became besotted by her.
After she moved in, he stopped seeing us altogether. She was apparently telling him we don't care about him, and that she is his only "true friend." She was saying to him that “his friend [we] don’t invite him out, and so we are not friends.” They spent time together 24/7. We were happy for our friend, but concerned with how quickly their relationship seemed to be moving. This girl had cheated on her last boyfriend to be with our friend, so she hadn't time to be single before ending the last relationship as well.
We as his friends confronted him about the situation, mainly just saying we worry about him and we miss him and hanging out with him. She used the confrontation to tell him that we are a “bunch of c**** who is just jealous of what they have and jealous of her.” She gave him the ultimatum that if he sees us again, he is going to “lose her.”
Now a year and a half later, we still haven't seen him. As far as I’ve heard from mutual sources close to them both, he barely sees his family now either and has cut off all his friends for this relationship. Now his only family is her family, and his only friends are her sisters’ partners.
We have heard that she hits him and throws his possessions away, and he hit her back and had to spend the night in jail.
Is this abusive? We as his friends are all worried about him and want our friend back. Or, am I overthinking this?
