Is my boyfriend abusive?

[Anonymous]

I’ve cheated on my boyfriend in the past (we’ve been on and off for about 4 years) and, to be honest, for a long time I didn’t deserve his love or trust, I haven’t cheated on him again, but let’s just say that more than a few times I haven’t been worthy of his trust, he’s really been the sweetest, when he got angry he would just cry or break up with me for a while, but he never yelled or got violent, not even when he was really drunk or when I was the violent one. He’s really a saint and I know I don’t deserve him. However, a few months ago after I broke his trust again, he had enough and started being resentful and saying really hurtful stuff to me, we got drunk, he had way too many drinks, we had sex and he got rough with me (he began to scratch me while we were at it), so much so that I had to let him know he was hurting me and told him to get off me, he listened to me, but he pinched me really hard before laying by my side saying that I was the worst person ever and a piece of shit. The morning after that he didn’t remember a thing and felt horrible about what happened, he apologized to me and said that he was horrified about it all. Normally, I would think behaviour like that is unforgivable, but taking all things into consideration what do you think? Is he abusive?

[Finchie40]

Actually sorry to say but you are the abusive one , by you cheating on him just shows that you truly don’t value him , but for some odd reason he is trying to save something that isn’t there , and you are holding onto something that isn’t there as well, Cheating on someone is a selfish act , meaning the cheater only thinks of themselves , if you truly loved and valued him you wouldn’t be cheating , So by you cheating on him answered your own question that you should move on from him and let him go find someone that truly loves him if he care about him , staying with him is just you being selfish only thinking of yourself , realize what you did was wrong in every aspect and set him free

[Anonymous]

No I don’t think so. I think if anything you’re the abusive one emotionally. You two don’t need to be together. He needs someone who wants a nice, good man. Not an immature girl who wants someone who lives on the edge, treats them like shot, etc. I think that’s where you’re at in life. You’re not attracted to him cause he isn’t dangerous, exciting, you want a POS that you can cry over to not leave you, to take you back. Best if you two go your own ways. Let him find someone who will reciprocate what he has to give because you sure as hell aren’t.

[Kerrim23]

No. I don't want to make you feel bad, but you emotionally and mentally abused him by cheating and breaking trust. A person can only handle so much. He shouldn't have said you are the worst person ever, but he has reason to feel that way

[Anonymous]

I don't think that is a abusive behaviour. He is hurting from you cheating on him and breaking his trust more than once. I think from what you wrote where you said you can get violent, I would say you are the abusive one.

[JessJJ]

No, I wouldn't say so.