Is my boyfriend abusive?

[LA2939S]

Recently I’ve started to wonder if my boyfriend is abusing me. Here are the reasons why:

- He engages in constant sex talk, sexualisation, hyper sexuality, saying degrading things about women, strips on video calls, masturbates on video calls without my consent, makes me feel very uncomfortable and sick
- Insulting me, ie my appearance, saying i’ve got bad teeth, need braces, saying I need to go to the gym more, workout with him etc.
- He insults my family members, sisters and mum.
- When my dad was in hospital, he faked trying to care about me, told me to focus on a conference/cult he took me to and disregarded my anxieties
- Is part of a cult and trying to reel me into it
- Is very manipulative, gaslights me when I call him out on his shitty behaviour and makes it a ME problem
- Tries to make me jealous of girls/females in his life, ie making you jealous of his personal trainer, trying to start rivalry, mentions flirting with female colleagues at work, numerous other females he’s pitted me against for a reaction. Receptionist at the gym, when he’s on video call to me he will say “hey you” to the receptionist in a flirty way
Lies to me about text messages he received from girls, I've found girls texting him sexual things asking to come over after we started dating, saying it gave him a “thrill” to reply to those messages with a wink face
- Going into a supermarket and purposely threatening a woman with children with a gun, and then laughing at her reaction
- He laughs when I go wrong or make a mistake, when he met my friend I spilt coffee he spent the entire time laughing at that
- Going from constantly texting and calling you to not texting at all, playing manipulative mind games
Getting possessive and jealous of me when I go out with your sister on a night out. Trying to make me jealous and ruin my night out by sending me messages girls sent him

Is this an abusive relationship?

[Anonymous]

You need @BoobSlayer.

[WilmaReportu]

I'm warning you now - stop saying 'You need Boobslayer' or I will take further action. I will not hesitate to report you to the authorities if you continue to make such inappropriate comments. Respect others and think before you speak.

[Thatpearl26]

@WilmaReportu I’m so confused right now? Why are you so pissed? That person was tagging someone. 🤣

[InspiringMind]

@Thatpearl26 lmfao

[ShesRad80]

your own words in above post-- Going into a supermarket and purposely threatening a woman with children with a gun, and then laughing at her reaction

he's an effin ahole, like what are you doing or thinking? and was he arrested for doing that? supermarket gotta have him on video

ask yourself why do i stay? abusive would be an understatement. GET OUT he will only escalate with time till he is beating on you. tell your parents, family, friends anyone who can help you get away. tell them what is going on and get out

[provokeesmokee]

Your first point is all you need in my opinion to dump him.

Then I got to the insulting your family and thought "why the fuck are you dating him?".

And THEN I saw he's in a cult and gaslighting you?

RUN.
Block him on all platforms and stay with someone you trust for a while. Be prepared for him to get violent and harassy - cult members aren't known for being rational or measured in their responses for rejection.

[BoobSlayer]

No, you need @RoosterBreast

[razelove]

That isn't abusive. He sounds like an asshole, and you like assholes if you're sticking around. Behavior like that doesn't pop out of the bushes like the viet cong or something. That's like hiding a bus with a towel.

Come on, you're old enough to know, what are you actually upset about since all of this would have been going on since day 1?

[ohsheeT]

Ok so you already know the answer to this question
Let say this was your daughters boyfriend and you found out everything you know right now how fast would you have her out of that house out of his world. And if you let her stay. . of course you would have to ask yourself how much damage could he do to her.
What would your answer be

This is your choice. If you every pay attention to your self and other.. and if we listen we know the answers to every question we have ever asked or thought of
You maybe you didn't hear yourself so maybe this is why your asking it out loud

And if you still can't hear yourself.
You have 1 question
If your smart you will only have 1 answer

But your not then you will have 2 answers the second one is no good.
And you will know that . so maybe another question how many lives do you have and do you love yourself more than
Unstable, hatred, lunatic, dangerous, perverted, sick, hostility, out of control, loser, hater, if he can't love himself he sure the f*** can't love you I have a feeling that you're going to play a game and take this too far and that's going to be sad because you had your way out you better take it because after you do that you're going to have another battle him trying to manipulate you to get you back and that's going to be f****** a nightmare so you better make choices now because you're going to have your hands full and if you get back into him it's the worst thing in this world besides starting to go out with him in the first place

[SueShe]

The asker is a troll/spammer and has asked the same question under multiple accounts multiple times before

Is this sexual abuse? ↗

[ohsheeT]

Thank you SueShe

[ohsheeT]

To the fake person to the fake guy that has the balls to even make up something like this you should be ashamed of yourself you should be ashamed of yourself for being a troll to be so weak minded that you have to do something like this and it's not the first time I kind of felt that I had read this question before but why would you even do something like this are you mentally Disturbed what you seek attention

[YesterdaysChild]

@SueShe su she is a tr0ll!

[ohsheeT]

No she is GaG

[YesterdaysChild]

@SueShe so why aren't they removed? You mods remove fun questions but not troll questions.

[SueShe]

I did ask GaG to remove my Influencer status as well as my moderator status and therefore, I have no longer the ability to hide or report spammers and trolls.

[ohsheeT]

I always felt you were good at your job sorry to hear here that

[SueShe]

Thanks but I am no longer ready to accept those quotas GaG administrators put on moderators to keep their status. If GaG wants this site to work, then they have to do the job themselves and not ask others to work for free and assign quotas.

I don't have that pressure anymore and a lot of good moderators have already left the sinking ship. This site could be good but it is getting worse every day.

[ohsheeT]

The number one I think you did one hell of a good job you're on top of everything I also think it's wrong to have quotas I also think it's wrong for you not to get paid for doing a wonderful job balanced job
And somewhat of a *can be a difficult job +
As a matter of fact I thought you were so good I actually thought that you were part of the creator of gag.
That's how in tune I believe that you are with GaG
We both know that I have broken rules on here. And I've been sent notifications are warnings about it
And the one thing is in that moment even though a little bit angry about it I've always had to stand back and relax and accepted because I always felt it was coming from you and like I said I hold a lot respect for you so letting it go was easy well I believe that they lost an asset by not looking at the deeper picture I think you did a very good job. And your still an asset to them in many ways

[SueShe]

You are kind, thanks. However, I will progressively reduce my time here on GaG and no one will have to fear me except for my forked tongue at times :-)

[ohsheeT]

Well to be honest with you that is one of the best qualities about you is you're not afraid to say it how it is

And in that moment that you do this that person has to be honest with themselves and they have to ask themselves are you right and all my cases you have been a blessing you have been a teacher and a guide by the things that you have said whether to me or somebody else so I appreciate you and I thank you

[Anonymous]

I'm really sorry to hear about the experiences you've been having in your relationship. Based on the behaviors you've described, it does raise significant concerns about abuse and mistreatment. Abuse can take various forms, including emotional, verbal, sexual, and psychological abuse, all of which seem to be present in this situation.

Some of the behaviors you've mentioned, such as insulting you, engaging in sexual activities without your consent, gaslighting, manipulation, and attempting to isolate you by involving you in a cult, are all red flags of an unhealthy and potentially abusive relationship. Additionally, making you feel jealous, pitting you against other women, and laughing at your mistakes are further signs of emotional manipulation and disrespect.

It's important to prioritize your safety and well-being. Consider reaching out to someone you trust, such as a close friend or family member, to discuss your concerns and seek support. They may be able to provide you with guidance and help you navigate this situation. If you believe you are in immediate danger, please contact local authorities or a helpline for assistance.

Remember, no one deserves to be treated with disrespect, humiliation, or abuse. You deserve to be in a healthy and nurturing relationship.

[boombastik]

It doesn't matter if he's abusive or not. If he's in a cult there is not one reason in this world you should stay. If he's in cult his number one priority is to get you into that cult. I imagine the reason he puts your family down is so you'll stay away from them so he can't get to them which is what they do, seclude you from all known alliances. He's trying to break you down mentally by putting you down. Cult members do not work alone. He is manipulating you and don't think you will never join his cult. Leave now while you can.

[serious_miss419]

FYI women and men can be assaulted and harassed in a relationship and it goes un noticed. You have no right to tolerate this guy and he has no right treating you this way.
Cold turkey goodbye. Don’t feel bad for him no matter what he says or does or goes through.

[Kori1236]

Sounds a lot like gaslighting.


Leave now. He’s not worth the time or energy you've already put in. And reevaluate your standards, what behaviours are you willing to put up with. What’s a hard no, and red flag for you vs something you’re fine with.

[BoopBoopBeep]

Either you're trolling or the biggest idiot I've met on here. Are you honestly asking if joining a cult and threatening people in a store with a gun is abusive. Like, you're on the fence about it?

0% chance anyone smart enough to figure out how to log on can't figure out this scenario. Be gone troll!

[KingslayerC]

I'm surprised how many people are taking this question seriously.

[BoopBoopBeep]

@KingslayerC Haha yeah I'm saddened by how many people are taking it seriously. If it IS serious, i'm sure nature will sort things out on its own. This would be staggeringly defective to the point that I'm surprised her mother didn't eat her as a small child.

[KingslayerC]

Lmfao 🤣 Yeah, seriously. If real, I don't understand how anyone here could get through to her if all of these red flags that she identified didn't get through. I should post a question about my girlfriend being a serial killer and ask if I should stay with her.

[BoopBoopBeep]

@KingslayerC "I mean, like, she's only killed OTHER people so far..."

[KingslayerC]

😂😂😂

[Highlycharged]

@KingslayerC 🤣

[Highlycharged]

🤣😂

[richardcory]

So much wrong here, but...

"Going into a supermarket and purposely threatening a woman with children with a gun, and then laughing at her reaction"

He Fking threatened a child with a gun for a laugh?

Yeah, leave. No question, no delays, don't look back. I don't care if this guy is a star athlete, male model and billionaire, and nobel prize winner,(but I bet he is none of those things) he's not worth it.

(the other stuff is really bad as well).

[Shy_Steve]

It might not be classed as an Abusive one, But it sounds like a horrible one.

The fact that you still call him your Boyfriend when you explain the Horrible things he has done makes you look Weak and Stupid.

If you want to look Stronger and Smarter just ask some friends to help you and breakup with him.

[Kay0187]

Sounds like a very controlling that enjoys hurting you. It will only get worse and it’s not worth it as you have lost a sense as to who you really are and you as a human being are worth more than that. Not every relationship is perfect, but his enjoyment in making you feel guilty, jealous, and constantly belittling you is beyond toxic/abusive/narcissistic. You can do better all by yourself!!

[Miristheiss]

Is he hitting you? If not then no. Being an asshole is being an... asshole.

Dump him if he is an asshole.

People try to play the victim card too much in today's world. People want to call everything abuse. Well... call the police if you are being abused.

Him being an asshole and jerk isn't "abuse"

[Xoxo420]

Not all abuse is physical. There is mental, sexual, and emotional abuse as well.

[thrillcr]

emotional and psychological abuse is a thing

[Miristheiss]

@Xoxo420
Especially with a society ready to make everyone a victim.
Look at you two swooping in to try your best to make something abuse and to make her the poor, helpless victim.
Shovel that sheeet to someone else.

[Xoxo420]

That’s not at all what we are doing. But go ahead and say whatever you have to, to help yourself feel better ❤️

[MzAsh]

Violence and abuse are two different words with different meanings. What’s described here is various forms of psychological abuse and sexual misconduct.

[Anonymous]

It sounds like he is very toxic and you don’t deserve that treatment at all. I hope this doesn’t upset you, but you truly should break it off with him. You deserve someone who treats you the way you need and want. That whole list of things are huge red flags. Plus the person you’re with should never make you feel sick And constantly try ruining your mood. Sounds like mental/emotional abuse.
If you need to talk let me know and I can message you 💗

[Gopackers02]

Yes he is. If this was a relationship I was in I’d dump him. Ik it may seem easier said than done. Since he can make threats and all that If you mention breaking up. Ik from experience I was in almost the same situation except the public stuff. But yeah dump him and If he makes threats talk to the police

[007kingifrit]

the first few sounded like he's rude then i got to like #4 and now i think you're just a drama queen who can't see both sides of something

also you're in a relationship he doesn't need your "consent" for half of this but cult? what cult? elaborate...

[GoingNooWhere]

Hold up, he needs your consent before he is allowed to call you? Wow. That is not even the slightest bit abusive. If anything that's a red flag on your part

Regarding the other stuff get rid of him

[GinjaNinja86]

She wrote that he masterbates during video chat without her consent. Which is a form of sexual assault.. like would you be all chill if ur sitting on your couch and ur buddy shows up, u invite him in and your both chatting.. and while your mid sentence he just openly starts beating off? Or would u feel uncomfortable? Like this person said she is made too feel? Because she never gave "consent" (saying that yes she is comfortable with him masterbating while she spoke to him)

URGH... Actually read what is written before you make ur comments! Because in the end u make yourself look ignorant!

[imfreeze95]

Get out of this relationship. This guy is some kind of sociopath

[CaptainOverthink]

Uuh. Yes, very abusive.
You seem to have it all nailed down. This guy seems super unstable, toxic and rather dangerous.

[Awesomesauce2005]

YES,, leave this crazy man and find someone nice like me

[Thatpearl26]

I think you already know the answer if you’re already questioning if he’s abusive. Leave, if you stay your just encouraging him to keep treating you that way.

[Alwayreckles93]

Girl get out asap. Yes he is abusive live him please. I have learn your boyfriend/spouse can end up being your worst enemy. What next he will try to kill you , Girl it will only get worst.