Girls, Close friends that are old lovers or close friends that are secret lovers?

[kinktoutkiwi]

my current g/f has a couple of her ex flings as very close friends. I have recently become very suspicious of a few things like 1 of these friends has moved in with her and I showed up the other night and she was asleep in his bed (fully clothed) she says thay were chatting and she feel asleep. she also says it wasn't uncommon to have cuddles with this friend in the years b4 we started seeing each other. now she also has another "friend" that comes to visit every so often and when he is visiting her she never invites me over and seems to want some sort of separation there between us. my question here is being that these two guys are ex lovers of hers should I be concerned that something is going on? I have confronted her calmly over both guys and back b4 we were officially seeing each other she was still doing things with the house mate guy which she assures has stopped now but the falling asleep In his bed thing makes me weary. each time I confronted her has ended that same she isn't so much angered by the confronting more goes down the "this is my truth you can believe it or not cause nothing else I say will change your mind " so with that my questions would be. close friends that are old lovers dose that exist or is it more a secret lovers pertaining to be close friends? how would I approach her about this being she has already said "this is my truth etc" ? or to many alarm bells and I should just run now before I get to involved? how am I to know if she is genuinely interested in me more so thay these other blokes? (I am 10 yeas older at 38 Both guys are her age )

[SueShe]

From the way you describe her behavior, I do assume that she is not really interested in you as a boyfriend. Perhaps she will be more interested once you are an old lover and that you may share more "cuddles" and proximity once you have become an ex.

She clearly (mis) uses your confidence and avoids to give you a straight and satisfying reply. Your only choice here is to take your distance from this lady as she will pull you more and more into her scheme and lies.

You have to realize that you are only a substitute for her failed past relationships and it will not be long until you join the long queue of those that were in your situation before you joined them.

It is not worth investing time and emotions into something that you already know now has no chance to be a long term relationship. When I say long term, I mean at least 10+ years.

[dustybiker]

I grew up with all male best friends. We have never cuddled.

[dustybiker]

If she is in a relationship with you she should create better boundaries with them for you. Or let her live her life and move on to someone else.

[Anonymous]

Close friends that are old lovers sometimes make the best lovers.