I told my boyfriend that he didn’t love me and he said “where’d you get that from?” could he really not love me because what kind of response is that?

[Anonymous]

Updates

+1 y

I was crying and stuff sad that he didn’t love me and instead he did not say a word or even hugged me to comfort me until I was getting ready to leave and told him that all I wanted was comfort. He was acting so cold and I don’t know why he wasn’t hugging me earlier when he saw me crying. I was crying because I thought that he didn’t love me

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+1 y

Writes questions to help with overthinking and feeling bad and then people act like assholes in the questions thank you for that. You never know what someone’s going through you have to always be kind.

[Death_To_Stress]

What did you expect would happen after saying something like that to him? He'd fall to his knees and profess his eternal devotion? That's a very manipulative move that immediately slams the door on any opportunity for a mature conversation. Instead of something like "I'm feeling unloved and I need to talk to you about it" you chose to dismissively TELL him what HIS feelings are. Then, you got upset at him for not respecting how you were feeling immediately after you were so presumptive and disrespectful about his. He even asked you why you felt that way. Did you tell him so the two of you could come to a benefitial resolution and a greater understanding? No. Instead, you're on here complaining he didn't react in the way you wanted.

You made your feelings the only ones that mattered in that moment then expected him to jump through some hoop to make you feel better. Did it even occur to you saying that could be very hurtful to him? Did that even register as a thing? Or was being hurtful the point?

Imagine if he acted just like you did and replied with "Yes, I do" then just walked away. That's exactly what you did to him: an unsupported statement of fact that completely disregards the other person's feelings and puts them in a position to defend them. Starting to get the picture?

If you're RIGHT and he doesn't love you, then he's only still with you for selfish reasons. Putting him on the spot with an angry accusation isn't going to get you an honest answer about a dishonest situation.

If you're WRONG and he does love you then you just told him you really suck at recognizing it, you don't value his feelings, and you think selfish outbursts are productive dialog. He also likely felt manipulated into needing to defend his feelings and reassure you, which is OBVIOUSLY what you're looking for. Either way, your actions were very immature, codependent, and left no opportunity or incentive for positive resolution to the conflict. You have a lot to learn about relationships. Likely he may, as well. Seek out the information and do the work. Good luck!

[FilmGuy93]

That’s the kind of response that’s genuinely shocked that you would even say something like he doesn’t actually love you.

[watercolor_lions]

Saying something like that can be extremely insulting to a person. He probably felt insulted and didn't feel like his comforting wouldn't make a difference, because you literally just said you don't believe him, despite all the effort he'd put in prior.

Imagine if you did all the nice things you do, put forth so much effort, and he said to you one day, "Why don't you love me"? That's how he feels right now.

[LazerBean]

Honestly you sound like someone who does stupid shit like this all the time, so he is probably used to it by now and over it. So instead of trying to comfort you, he is asking you a real questions to try to get your brain turned on.

[NotTacocaT6969]

Alright drama queen, you need an English lesson.


“Where did you hear that?” Is a nice way of saying “you must have made that silly bullshit up because it’s not true.”

[spartan55]

You must not want to have a boyfriend much longer.