Do you think looks are underrated?

[Chthou95]

People always talk about personality and how personality is everything. But i feel like people downplay looks and just how important they actually are. Without looks, your other qualities won't shine and most people won't give you a chance if you dont pass in the looks department. Yes personality matters but looks are very crucial as well. You might have an amazing personality but that won't matter if you're not doing what you have to do to be physically attractive

[NathanDavis]

I've never seen personality as being EVERYTHING... just the priority

and I've never seen looks as not important at all... just not the priority

and my personality (among other qualities) have been absolutely important for me, because no, I am definitely not what most people would consider "conventionally attractive"

and I have never been a girls "first choice" in the "looks department' either, neither their second choice.. lmao

maybe a third or fourth choice and that because they considered my personality in the mix as well

[maximumpower]

Looks are SOMETHING but NOT everything.
Belive you'll find women are MUCH more hung up on looks than men - regardless of any claim they may throw out there.

[Chthou95]

This a politically correct i can agree with

[Twalli]

Looks are what gets you date 1. Personality is what gets you a long-term SO

[Chthou95]

That's the point. Without looks/physical attraction first, your characteristics dont matter and in general won't save you

[Twalli]

Except physical beauty is subjective and personality traits that people seek aren't

[Chthou95]

Its not that subjective. Its subjective for minor differences. But most women aren't going to find an overweight fat dude attractive

[Twalli]

We could say the same about short dudes, but I got a girlfriend and I am shorter than most girls as well as guys (5'4").

[Chthou95]

Are you using yourself as an exception?

[Twalli]

I'm saying that girls like muscles and guys over 6 feet tall except when they don't.
Guys like big boobs and asses except when they don't.
I am short and skinny. I got a girlfriend. My girlfriend has small boobs and a small ass. She's got a boyfriend. We also chose to date based on physical attraction from traits that most people don't like.
So physical beauty is subjective based on what a person likes. Yet there are certain immutable personality traits that everyone wants.

[Chthou95]

Men and women aren't the same though. Men are more visual but not the way people mean. Visually men can find anything attractive and learn to appreciate it. Women in general like men who are shape and are tall. You're lucky you ran into an exception. They're rare but men and women dont view attraction the same way. It's not 50/50

[Twalli]

Visual attraction, yes, but if we go beyond what people look like we find a similarity in traits that people want.

[Chthou95]

Sure people are looking for the ultimate goal (love). But how its earned is different for both sexes. Similar in some way but not identical

[Twalli]

Loyalty
Affection
Happiness
These are things that everyone wants in their partner

[Chthou95]

There's other things in there people want and look for. But it would be considered shallow which is why people don't mention those things

[Twalli]

I am just saying the desires for personality are generally closer to the same across the board and there's more variation in preferences related to appearance.

[Chthou95]

For men sure, for women not so much. Its pretty much usually around the same area in terms of appearence