Girls, Why does this person keep telling me to do this?

[Anonymous]

I’m talking to someone and they tells me a lot to not take it personally if they dont reply to messages or if they dont text me. They’ve mentioned this a lot lately and I’m just curious as to why they’d keep saying this. They told me that they appreciate me and they’ve just told me to not take it personally if they don’t reply. What’s going on? Just curious what you all think. I overthink because I’m a trauma survivor and I am so used to toxic relationships

They care about the interaction

Maybe they like you

Really nice person

It’s all good relax

[WonderBell99]

Are you romantically interested in this person? If so, I would ask you to stop distancing yourself from them for the sake of you not getting hurt. Maybe that person is busy with others things going on in their life at the moment and cannot find time to have a meaningful conversation with you. They want to be polite and let you know that you need not worry about them not replying to you sooner. However, if someone does not have time to even have a conversation, I do not think they are ready to get into a relationship with someone.

As one of the anons mentioned, it could also be that the person is depressed. A lot of people, when depressed, pull away from people they talk to usually. They may not feel like talking to anyone, and just stay alone with themselves and their own thoughts. You could always try asking them if they are okay, but if they are not willing to share, it’s best to not press them further.

[WonderBell99]

Oh, and I’m asking you to distance yourself from them if this is a regular occurrence. Not if this is rare in your interactions with them. I once got ignored by someone I used to chat with because they were going through a hard time. I was also romantically interested in them and it only caused more havoc with my internal feelings. The best thing you could do is provide emotional support and be there for them… but they may not always want to talk at all times.

[Asker]

Yeah I just have to see what happens. Thanks so much for your opinion. I’ve found it helpful. I overthink things because I’ve been hurt before and it’s a way of me not wanting to get hurt again and I’m sick of being alone and disconnected if that makes sense so I get impatient. I just got to let go a lot more. Thank you

[WonderBell99]

No worries.. it seems like the person understands your emotions and feelings. Maybe they asked you to not take it personally since they know you overthink a lot and put the blame on yourself

[Asker]

Yeah but it seems to me they’re just a nice person. In all honesty nobody’s really said that to me before. I don’t wanna engage in a sob story but a lot of people can be super mean because they just don’t understand things like depression or anxiety

[WonderBell99]

Yep, that is correct. They do seem to be decent enough to let you know when they’re not online. I would consider that person understanding.

Oh, I can definitely relate a lot to that. A vast majority of people who do not have disorders like anxiety or depression do not even try to be empathetic towards those who do. I have anxiety, and I was ridiculed for my behavior… (I get tended rather easily and always seem to be fidgeting or doing something that might come across as “weird” when it’s a coping mechanism for me).

[Asker]

Hey I can relate to that. I think it’s because society says there’s this thing called “normal” and a lot of people want to be accepted so they try to be this “normal” thing but in reality there’s no such thing as normal. What’s normal for you is for you and what’s normal for me is for me. Like it’s normal for me to say drink chocolate milk before bed sometimes but for you I don't know what you may do before bed like I hope we move on as a society from these silly things we have told ourselves which are just really bad for ourselves

[WonderBell99]

That is so true. Hahah, chocolate milk before bed sounds like a good one, though, I would not want to get a cavity!😂

I strongly agree. I believe there is no such thing as “normal” because what is normal to me, may not be the case for others. I am okay with people calling me weird because I know for a fact that I am a misfit, and I prefer to be a loner anyway, but then ridiculing was not okay.

It’s quite unfortunate that you have had similar experience as me when it comes to this. I truly hope these type of people change one day. Mental health should not be taken lightly. I also hope you find someone who would not hurt you. You’ve mentioned in your description that you are a trauma survivor. I think you are quite brave.

[Asker]

Thanks. As are you. Just wish I could mute other people like I can mute people in messenger and wish yes I could block them like I can in messenger too lol imagine hey you’re this you’re that block and then they go away lol

[Anonymous]

Maybe they’re busy or is going through something. When I’m deep in my depression I also tend to just pull away and not respond/text anyone, they might be going through the same thing. I think it’s better for you to ask them directly if there’s a reasoning behind it (either they’re not interested, or are they just busy? Need space? Going through something stressful? Or maybe ask if there’s anything that you can do)

[_Just_A_girl_]

Block em move on. People who care will make time.