What do you think about a guy saying that he doesn’t think he’s ready for a committed relationship but he’s open to it?

[Anonymous]

Updates

1 y

Also there’s an age gap.. he’s 20 I am 18

[Anonymous]

Telling you what he thinks you want to hear so you'll have sex with him (or keep having sex with him). I'll tell you something I WISH I knew when I was your age. When a guy REALLY likes you and wants to make things work, he makes them work. There is no "I'm not ready", "I'm not sure", "bad timing", etc. A guy who wants to be with you will be with you. A guy who makes excuses is stringing you along.

When I was younger, I played into the "gray area". The what ifs, the maybes, the hope. But now I know that it's actually very black and white. They either step up or they don't. Don't drive yourself crazy trying to convince the guy who can't see for himself how amazing you are. Either he gets it or he doesn't. If he tells you he doesn't, then walk away and save yourself a bunch of time and heartache.

[Asker]

Thank you so much

[Opinion Owner]

You're very welcome. In the past, I wasted a bunch of time trying to make things work with the wrong guys. I held onto false hope, tried to play the "cool girl", tried to change their mind, etc. It turned me into an absolute wreck. I was depressed and anxious and only ended up getting hurt weeks or months down the road.

Then I met my now-bf. Something just instantly clicked. Right off the bat, he was consistent in texting me. He was clear that he wanted to see me again. He was consistent in planning dates and sticking to them. He made me feel safe and secure in a way I've never felt in the early stages. It was a lightbulb moment for me... like this is how it SHOULD be. Nothing felt forced. It just flowed. I wasn't sitting here wondering if I'd hear from him again. I just KNEW that I would. I didn't doubt his intentions. He wasn't very good about verbalizing his intentions, but it was clear in the way he acted and in the way he treated me that this was different than the other schmucks I'd tried dating before. That's how it's supposed to be, I just didn't know it until I met him. <3

[Anonymous]

Nothing wrong with that. Except he's wasting your time by being unsure and indecisive. I dated a guy like that, and I liked him too much and he didn't like me enough.

[TroyDT]

My gut assessment: He's trying to seduce you with a false hope of a possible committed relationship.

[Truthatanycost]

Translation = he's open to sex without strings / friends with benefits.

[The_Naughty_Guy]

He’s playing around with you just for sex