Is it a red flag that he hasn’t committed to me after 9 months?

[Anonymous]

[Summeroflove]

What? After 9 months. You know that marriage is a very big thing. If you want to propose then you're the one who is wanting it. Propose to him. If he rejects you or he has told you that he is not ready to get married yet then respect that.

Good gosh...

[CanadianLearner]

You will need to provide more context to get helpful advice.

(1) By committed, do you mean as an exclusive relationship?
(2) Have you asked him for that?
(3) If you have, how long ago, and what did he say?
(4) How often do you two see each other?
(5) Do you live near each other, say, within 2 hrs travel?

[Asker]

Yeah exclusive we haven’t had a chat yet
We hang out every weekend and sometimes during week
We had a chat 3 months in and said we are enjoying what it is for now but haven’t tried to discuss it again
I want him to bring it up next time cause I did the first time

[CanadianLearner]

It's the role of a woman to be in the feminine - i. e., focus on the relationship, ask about labels, etc.

Some guys will ask about boyfriend/girlfriend label stuff, but that's generally coming from a place of insecurity/anxiety/neediness/etc., which isn't what you probably want in a man anyways.

I suggest you bring it up again, provided everything feels good between you two and that's what you really want.

Either he will dodge the question, or commit to you, and you will have your answer.

[UniquelyBasic]

In what way? Are you both dating officially?

[Asker]

We have never discussed anything besides we both like each other

[UniquelyBasic]

Why haven't you asked him out then if it's been 9 months? Maybe he doesn't want to date you officially for whatever reason. I don't know honestly.

[HighValue]

What do you mean exactly by "committed?"

[Anonymous]

Definite red flag for him yeah. If he hasn't figured out if you're worth it ar this point he should move on.

[curlyfirecracker]

What kind of commitment?

[In_Trance]

9 months seems like a commitment to me